New and needing direction

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by JK23, Dec 14, 2013.

  1. JK23

    JK23 New Member

    Hello,
    I am glad to read I am not the only parent who struggles to understand how their child has ended up abusing drugs and acting horrible towards them. I do not know where I went wrong. To make a long story short, I am divorced from my daughter's father who has anxiety issues and abuses alcohol. I am remarried. My difficult child has been treated for anxiety, depression, and drug abuse (mostly pot or prescription drugs). She is now 17 and has gradually moved herself into her grandparents home and does not want to return. We were very stressed with her here as her behavior was awful, she routinely broke rules, was manipulative, and skipped school. Nothing I did seemed to help. I have to admit I do not think I could stand to have her back acting they way she did. She doesn't want all the help that has been offered to her (has been in counseling, various doctor's, etc.) and continues to live the life she wants.

    Now, I want to know something specific I am not sure how to handle. Her grandparents bought her a car, I insure her, so my name and hers is on the car. Since she is 17, and I fear if she gets in an accident, I would be sued. I know, worse things could happen, too, but my question is more about the insurance. She uses the car to go to "school." She is now what they call homebound and goes to a library to work on her classes online with a small group of kids and a couple mentors. Her mental issues landed her there. Would some of you take her off your insurance, remove your name from the car, and pull her license till she's 18 (which is in 10 months)? Or leave her on, so she can attend school, and be insured in case she did something really thoughtless, like drive high? I don't ask for help with her behavior only because I honestly think I have done everything I know to do.

    Thanks in advanced...
    One sad mom
     
  2. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    If Grandparents are aware and paying attention to if she ever drinks and drives, then leave it. If they are being naive then I would take my name off.
     
  3. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    All I can tell you is that my daughter got into three accidents while drunk or high or both. All were her fault. She was sued and owed one woman $14,000 well after she had gotten clean. In that accident, somebody could have been killed. The other two were just driving off the road (the engine caught on fire when she crashed into a railing, but everyone got out) and the second one was her crashing into the car in front of her while trying to pass at high speed. After the first accident, she was no longer allowed to drive our car and we no longer insured her. Her "friends," however, did allow her to drive their cars. Talk about clueless....grrrrrrrr. This is a decision you have to make, but I'd think hard about it.
     
  4. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Welcome. This is a tough question. Since she is living with her grandparents and they bought her the car, why don't they put the insurance in their name until she is 18 and then it can go in her name? I'm inclined to say since she is living tere they need to make sure she only drives when she is not under the influence of anything. If they can't monitor that then they should not allow her to drive. How long until she turns 18? We put the car our daughter was driving in her name and made her apply for her own insurance for just the reasons you bring up.
     
  5. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I would never have the insurance in my name. Now one in insurance agency told me that if my son was the primary on the insurance and I was secondary nothing could happen to me legally. Im not convinced they are right but I did this with my older son so his insurance would be lower. He did have an accident about 6 months after he got insured and it didnt effect me at all.
     
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