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<blockquote data-quote="Lil" data-source="post: 613045" data-attributes="member: 17309"><p>Perhaps I didn't explain that very well. The selling of his things, the guitars, Xbox, took place over a long period starting before he turned 17 and I know where that money went, mostly. Of our things, the items returned to the store totalled $25. The bow, he got $25 for...there were other items, so I don't know how much he actually got, but I doubt over $150 and some of the stuff pawned was from friends. That would have been about June. The guitars he got $125 for (in case you haven't figured it out we got these things back and paid the pawn so we know how much he got) and that was in August. He also sold a drum set in July and got $300. It was gone in two weeks. So I KNOW he definitely was buying pot with it this summer...but he's honestly only had the $25 a week since September. </p><p></p><p>Still, yes, I'm sure that <em>was </em>what it was going to. Like I said, I'd hoped the limited funds would stop that at college....I don't know if it has. I don't actually know how much pot costs these days...but I know a dime bag doesn't cost $10 anymore. Times have changed since I was in high school. (I never bought any myself...but I wasn't locked in my room either back in the day.)</p><p></p><p>You know, I never wanted him to be just like me. I never minded him dancing to his own beat. We didn't fight the long hair and awful music and clothing. We didn't sweat the small stuff. We insisted he get decent grades, stay out of trouble, be home at reasonable hours, do household chores. When he announced he was an athiest and wouldn't attend church anymore, I was more disappointed for him than in him. (It's always seemed such a close-minded stance...that this is all there is and nothing more.) When his girlfriend discovered she was pregnant (not his-long story) and he wanted to stand by her, we told him we wouldn't lie and say the child was his- but we could and would prevent him from claiming the child until he turned 18. But we didn't bad-mouth her and try to break them up. (As we thought, it worked itself out and after the baby came they broke up.) But he was never in any real trouble. He kept his curfew. He didn't get tickets. He passed his classes. He really didn't cause us <em>any </em>problems to speak of. I knew he'd drank. I knew his friends smoked pot. I knew he smoked cigarettes. But until the day I walked in the door and found him stoned I never, ever, thought that I'd witness that. I don't know how we could have not known - but we were totally caught unaware. He always thought we were soooooo hard on him, because his friends parents just didn't <em>care </em>what they did. But we always tried to be fair. We worked on a one-strike system. Kid's screw up. It happens. The first time, there is a lecture, but no real consequence. Do it again and the consequence described in the lecture happens. </p><p style="text-align: left"><span style="color: #000000"></span></p> <p style="text-align: left"><span style="color: #000000"></span></p> <p style="text-align: left"><span style="color: #000000"></span></p> <p style="text-align: left">What your daughter said was one of the statements that got him to the ER this spring and then in counseling for the summer. He said pot was the only thing that made him happy. </p> <p style="text-align: left"></p> <p style="text-align: left">Lord just typing that made me tear up. That's what kills me about all this. He has no reason to be unhappy. But he's not. He never has been his whole life, not really, and it's the only thing I want.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lil, post: 613045, member: 17309"] Perhaps I didn't explain that very well. The selling of his things, the guitars, Xbox, took place over a long period starting before he turned 17 and I know where that money went, mostly. Of our things, the items returned to the store totalled $25. The bow, he got $25 for...there were other items, so I don't know how much he actually got, but I doubt over $150 and some of the stuff pawned was from friends. That would have been about June. The guitars he got $125 for (in case you haven't figured it out we got these things back and paid the pawn so we know how much he got) and that was in August. He also sold a drum set in July and got $300. It was gone in two weeks. So I KNOW he definitely was buying pot with it this summer...but he's honestly only had the $25 a week since September. Still, yes, I'm sure that [I]was [/I]what it was going to. Like I said, I'd hoped the limited funds would stop that at college....I don't know if it has. I don't actually know how much pot costs these days...but I know a dime bag doesn't cost $10 anymore. Times have changed since I was in high school. (I never bought any myself...but I wasn't locked in my room either back in the day.) You know, I never wanted him to be just like me. I never minded him dancing to his own beat. We didn't fight the long hair and awful music and clothing. We didn't sweat the small stuff. We insisted he get decent grades, stay out of trouble, be home at reasonable hours, do household chores. When he announced he was an athiest and wouldn't attend church anymore, I was more disappointed for him than in him. (It's always seemed such a close-minded stance...that this is all there is and nothing more.) When his girlfriend discovered she was pregnant (not his-long story) and he wanted to stand by her, we told him we wouldn't lie and say the child was his- but we could and would prevent him from claiming the child until he turned 18. But we didn't bad-mouth her and try to break them up. (As we thought, it worked itself out and after the baby came they broke up.) But he was never in any real trouble. He kept his curfew. He didn't get tickets. He passed his classes. He really didn't cause us [I]any [/I]problems to speak of. I knew he'd drank. I knew his friends smoked pot. I knew he smoked cigarettes. But until the day I walked in the door and found him stoned I never, ever, thought that I'd witness that. I don't know how we could have not known - but we were totally caught unaware. He always thought we were soooooo hard on him, because his friends parents just didn't [I]care [/I]what they did. But we always tried to be fair. We worked on a one-strike system. Kid's screw up. It happens. The first time, there is a lecture, but no real consequence. Do it again and the consequence described in the lecture happens. [LEFT][COLOR=#000000] [/COLOR] What your daughter said was one of the statements that got him to the ER this spring and then in counseling for the summer. He said pot was the only thing that made him happy. Lord just typing that made me tear up. That's what kills me about all this. He has no reason to be unhappy. But he's not. He never has been his whole life, not really, and it's the only thing I want.[/LEFT] [/QUOTE]
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