new bee! Finially Everything makes sense.. after 2yrs.

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Charmedpea, Jun 8, 2008.

  1. Charmedpea

    Charmedpea New Member

    Hi Everyone, I am so glad I found this forum. A little back round. About 2 1/2 yrs ago my little girl turned into someone I didnt know right before my eyes. Around 10 1/2yr -11yrs old. i thought it was due to getting her period is the reason for her mood changes. Defiant to any adult didnt matter who you were. Fast forward to last summer, she was in detention center for a weekend, unruly behavor. Suspended from school for 80 days, then home schooled her. Last saturday, she over dosed on tylenol, her level was so high if she wouldnt of said anything we would be planning her funeral last week. We had her sent up to the phyc ward of childrens and she has been diagnosed with. ODD & adjustment disorder with depressional mood. Everything I have been reading was like they were describing my household to a T. They could of put a picture of us on their. It has been a roller coaster for the last 2 years and we finially have a reason. how do you cope now that you know what is wrong? Now i'm also concerned with putting her back into the school setting. Do we tried to get her into a modified class room, more controlled.Any help would be great. we do have an appointment with the high school counclor to set up classes. We are also trying to get her into a particial hosiptalization program, intense therapy. Thanks, Charmedpea
  2. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    Hi Charmed and welcome! I'm so glad you found us.

    My heart goes out to you - thank *goodness* she said something about the Tylenol. I cannot begin to imagine how utterly terrifying that must have been.

    I think one of the first things you should do is request a full educational evaluation from the school district. This should result in an IEP (individual education plan), i.e. Special Education services. One of the biggest things this will do is prevent anymore 80-day suspensions!! This will also give you the opportunity to request whatever supports you feel she needs in the school setting. It's a lot to take in at one time - check out the sped 101 forum and archives to start educating yourself. One of the most important things to do is to send certified letters when you're requesting evaluations and/or IEP meetings - this starts a time line that the school district (school district) must meet.

    Some school district's say that because grades and standardized scores are "normal", special education is not required. If this happens to you, the answer is that she has "moods and behaviors that impact her ability to receive a free and appropriate public education" - they can't educate her if she's suspended. If you have questions as you start this process, please be sure to post over in the sped 101 forum - our moderators over there are phenominally well-versed in Special Education issues, as are our board members.

    Obviously, all medications, no matter how benign they may be, need to be under lock and key. If you have alcohol in the house, I'd lock that up too, as well as cleaning supplies, etc. Anything that could potentially be a poison.

    Having a diagnosis is just the beginning (so sorry to have to tell you that!! ;) ) but it is a good beginning. Now you can work on appropriate medicatons to manage the depression as well as therapy. One of the most important things you can/should do for yourself is remember to take care of yourself. Get breaks when you can, give yourself a lot of TLC. Raising a kid with challenging behaviors is beyond draining (news to you, I'm sure ;) ). It's really important to keep yourself healthy, both physically and emotionally. I find something as simple as a stroll through the mall window shopping does a world of good for my attitude.

    Again, so glad you found us!
  3. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    Oh my goodness!! It gave me chills when you said your 10 1/2 - 11 yr old girl changed before your eyes. My son just turned 11 yr in September and fell apart last June. He hit rock bottom - couldn't function - self harm thoughts bordering on suicidal. It was soooo unexpected and sooooo scary. He was hospitalized in psychiatric hospital for two weeks. Diagnosised as deep anxiety disorder. He was started on Floxutine and clonazepam and learned lots of coping skills. One day he told me that what he hated most about being in the psychiatric hospital was that I was missing out on him growing up. It scares me to think what would have happened if he didn't feel comfortable telling me what was going on.

    O.K. Things started to get a whole lot better but as he has started to climb out of his hole, he has become very disrespectful and lost all his social skills. His classmates no longer want to play with him because of his inappropriate behaviors (name calling, anger, etc.). Our saving grace was our teachers who were very understanding and did everything they could to help me help him. The school year did not end the best - just to say that it was a good thing that a previous planned event kept him from attending his class's year end party (after school event) - the mom arranging was nervous about having him there if I wasn't able to be there. It was so hard for her to ask me about it - she did not want to hurt me - I told her I understood, that my difficult child brought this on himself and I was sorry also that others were uncomfortable around him.

    We do have lots of good days (more than not) but when his "mood" pops up, it gets very ugly. I often wonder if there is not some ODD going on. We are taking him off of Clonazepam and I am noticing improvement in the respect and obeying already. Though the lying scares me. I hope he is not getting away with any - I usually can put an end to it and confront him if I am aware of it.

    We are still trying to figure out what is going on with him - he just doesn't fit anything exactly right now and just seems to be not too far from the boarder of an officical diagnosis. Maybe it is just him being a naughty kid (though I really do see him trying to work toward being a good person - or is he just conning me? I don't know - I just want my sweet little boy back so when I do see him, I pray that is still the true him) He has also changed before my eyes.

    I cried inside over your daughter's overdose. That is soooo scary. You have been through impossible times. Now that there is a diagnosis, you will feel better about the chosen medications. Just remember that what is hard about this is that every person reacts different to every medication so if one does not work, know there are tons out there, don't get too discouraged, just keep working on it.

    Please post what does and doesn't work for you (medication and discipline). That will help me learn and give me ideas to try. You will also get lots of feed back that may help you also.
  4. Christy

    Christy New Member

    Just wanted to say welcome and wish you and your family the best.

    Glad you're here!
  5. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Hi CharmedPea, welcome.
    I am so glad you caught the OD in time!!!
    Do you have any idea what caused her to change overnight? The diagnosis's ID'd her as being depressive, but what made it manifest all of a sudden? Anything in your family history?
    I'm glad you're on track to getting her some treatment.
    Wish I had some advice.
    Can you write up a signature and post it with-your notes? Thanks!
    Take care.
  6. change

    change New Member

    Charmedpea...I know what you're going through. My daughter is also changing before my eyes. She's 12 and has gone from a gifted student and very gifted performing artist/student to someone who just doesn't care about anything at all, has been suspended several times, has no friends, steals, lies constantly, etc. What we did is beg the school she's zoned to next year for a self-contained behavioral support classroom. They still need to have an ARD to get it done but we DID get the necessary special-ed label to get her into it. Work with your public school district. You're entitled to their help and so is your daughter. She's entitled to a good education as well. Good Luck.
  7. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It


    I am glad you found us.

    One thing I want to mention is that ODD is RARELY a stand-alone diagnosis. Many of us have found that it decreases to normal teen levels or goes away if you treat the underlying disorder. that is, if a child has bipolar and ODD, if you get the bipolar treatment right, the ODD will leave for the most part.

    also, if a mood disorder is suspected, it is important to rule bipolar OUT before you try treatment for the mood disorder. Try mood stabilizers first. It is hard to find the right medication combo. Many of our difficult children need 2 mood stabilizers and an antipsychotic to be stable. antidepressants can cause MAJOR problems, as can stimulants.

    Others here will have more info on that.


  8. Charmedpea

    Charmedpea New Member

    Thanks everyone,I am familar with IEP my son has had them since 2nd grade. The school district back then was horrible in fla. Told me he was lazy and stupid. He is dyslexic. Thank god the school in il listened to me.SLSh: You were right thought I called the high school, because we are going up their on thursday to enroll her and I spoke with her guidance councelor. And she said just because a student is ODD doesnt mean they have a learning disablitly. So I shot her right back with your answer, It does if she is getting 80 suspension interfering with her education. She didnt say anything after that. Then I called the superintendant of the school that knows my daughter. He spoke with the phys of the school and she told him for me to sign the release for her medical records it the hospital all the info I have will help getting her into Learning Disability (LD) class. I told him I already did. I didnt go into to much over the last post because she was sleeping next to me and I didnt want her to wake up and ask me what I was doing. Hubby and I counted and their have been almost about 11 deaths in the last 2 years. and at least half of them where kids she new. One is an on going murder of a 4month old she new and held. So every time she see's an article in the paper about it, then it sends her in to her depressed/anger state which is understandable but, way over board. And she knew the person that did it. The baby's father! But that still needs to be proven finially arrested him after 2 years.she was always getting into fights, she know which buttons to push. And the same in school both ways, If another kid did something wrong and she never opened her mouth the teacher would start yelling at her even if she would try and the other kids tell the teacher she didnt do anything. It was horrible. I told the superintendent, If a teacher gets into an argument with her and is yelling in her face it is going to get reallly bad. They would teachers get right up in her face and start screaming at her. When she was admitted to childerns hospital first on the regular floor, 10 mins before they were going to put her up stairs in the phys ward, I get this release from one floor to another and they put why she was in their, they coarse of treatment, and then they put stuff in their she told them in confidance, they promissed her I would know. Well some dumb intern or nurse who ever put this info in their. and of course my response was Oh their is a mistake in her right in front of her and the nurse. Well now she doesnt trust them because they lied to her. Nice start huh. I tried to convince her they made a mistake, Everyone makes mistakes. You can trust them, mommy is not mad. This all took place 10 mins because she was being transfered. I told her pinky sware mommy you are going to listen and let them help you and you can trust them. then I ran out of the room balling. Dr. said he doesnt believe she doesnt need medications right now. But if she has the mood disorder (adjustment disorder with depressional mood) from what I have read she needs something. I am hoping to get her into the php. I dont want her on medications but if it is going to help her. I'm so confused right now. Well i'm off to work. Have a great dayCharmedpea
  9. mama2lexxie

    mama2lexxie New Member

    Welcome! I am new as well. There is a lot great people with excellent advice here.