new day programs SW

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by guest3, Jun 28, 2007.

  1. guest3

    guest3 Guest

    The new day therapy program's SW thinks difficult child II's issues are more "enviromental" and that he just needs to have consequences re-enforced (cause I never have tried this, duh). :crazy2:

    She also pointed out that my anxiety issues are not good for difficult child II to see (um sorry lady I never asked to be assualted by a man with a gun or have 2 difficult child's that have frayed my nerves beyond belief). Yet d/h was given sympathy for not having me stand behind him when he displines difficult child II, hello????????? :grrr:

    I asked her if she had read "The explosive child" and her reaction told me she was not a fan. She is a fan of calling the police if a piece of furniture is flipped over and difficult child II does not accept punishment for it. I am slightly frustrated, she is a bit hotsy totsy in her manor but I am trying to remain patient of course difficult child II has been nothing but great for her and there's only one other child in the group with him at this time. (which also makes me wonder) We will see :future:
     
  2. TrishaBC

    TrishaBC New Member

    "he just needs to have consequences re-enforced "

    I hate hearing that as well. If people had any idea how hard we work at this, and that we reinforce consequenses a 100 times more than parents of easy child's.

    Good luck with the new SW, I hope things turn around with her.
     
  3. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Well let me ask, did she give you any kind of home behavior suggestions?

    I have to be honest in that I am not a fan of the explosive child myself so I have to recuse myself on that part. I think its unrealistic to the real world.

    Maybe you should ask her to give you a behavior plan to follow at home while he is in this program and jump in with both feet and see how it goes. My personal opinion is the faster everyone can figure out how to function successfully as a member of society the easier it will be for the kids. Society isnt going to make allowances for them.
     
  4. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Ugh. Well, a social worker is not really a diagnostician. For what it's worth, I'd look for something better. That's usually not the cause of the child acting out. You can try and see, but...not a fan of Social Workers deciding on what's wrong.
     
  5. WhymeMom?

    WhymeMom? No real answers to life..

    Why not ask if she could stay with difficult child for the weekend and check out how that re-enforcing consequences works. You would really like to see that in action......bet she would have to wash her hair.....

    Hoping you find some "other" solutions....
     
  6. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Let me guess - this is a brand spanking new idealistic graduate, right?

    I have never ever taken this type of "advice" seriously unless said SW was willing to come in & live a week with the tweedles. And it had to be 24/7, not just those pandy :censored2: business hours. :hammer:
     
  7. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Ohhhh.........PLEEAAAZZZZZZZEEE!!!! :thumbsdown:
    Just ignore this arrogant SW who obviously seems to "know it all" ...............whatever!!!!!!!!!!!
     
  8. AllStressedOut

    AllStressedOut New Member

    I used "The Explosive Child" as firewood and it worked great! hehehe, just teasing.

    Have you read "Muzzled" by Michael A. Smerconish? It talks about how kids are rewarded for just showing up and how this isn't good. I would be willing to bet that I'm the only person who has checked out "The Explosive Child" and "Muzzled" from the library. Two totally different concepts.

    I see points in both books, so those who love the 1st book, please don't chastise (sp?) me. I just don't completely grasp everything in "The Explosive Child." Comes from my old fashioned raising.

    I wish I had some good advice, but I don't. I feel for ya and I can't stand when any therapist tells me how to parent. Most of them don't even have kids of their own and those that do don't spend any time with them because they're too busy making $ off of our kids.

    Next time just do what I do when my mother is going on and on...nod and smile, just nod and smile. (I've learned this technique does not work over the phone)
     
  9. Alisonlg

    Alisonlg New Member

    Yeah...the SW that handled M *INPATIENT* on his first admit thought it was all about video games and poor limits at home. It seems to be the first conclusion many SW's make. UGH. In fact, it's written all over his discharge summary about how "mom and dad agree to set firmer limits and limit video game time" as if we haven't been doing that for over 8 years now.

    Just nod and agree. Hopefully they're spending time teaching difficult child some coping skills and doing a good job monitoring his medications. I'd have to say I agree with Janet in that you might as well ask for the SW's suggestions (and I do say *suggestions* LOL) for a behavior plan. It couldn't hurt to know what she thinks you should be doing and if it doesn't sound too outlandish to give it a shot while difficult child is in their care.
     
  10. guest3

    guest3 Guest

    d/h jumped off wagon and blew off meeting with militant SW this morning, sigh..........

    I had to go into the whole chip off the block parable, sigh........again I feel like a broken record, and i am typing with one hand because I have a bunny in the other that looks like it's at death's door!
     
  11. guest3

    guest3 Guest

    Behavior Plan was put in place this afternoon with in home therapist, she got to see difficult child II in his "decompressing mode" after day therapy and got a big fat arrogant "whatever" from difficult child II everytime she tried to explain the plan to him, we agreed to try again Tues when D/H will be present (hopefully) and difficult child II has time to decompress prior to our scheduled meeting, difficult child II has in home 2 x's a week now. We will see, Day program doctor called 2day to tell me she wants me to lower Abilify to 15 mg. and next week to 10mg which is fine, I have not like the high dose from the get go, but that is all he's on, I may try the visteral this weekend if things get too hairy but it does not seem to do much.

    thank you for the advice all, I will be looking for Muzzled this weekend at the library, and I am still on the fence with "Explosive Child" I agree it's a take what you can use kinda book. And believe it or not SW is in her 40's but that doesn't mean she's not new, or it can also mean she's fed up, LOL one or the other.
     
  12. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    SW must be related to my mother in law! She so much as told me this week while visiting that GFG2s problems are all because I don't give consistent discipline, because he's fine with her, but as soon as I come home he starts acting up.

    Of course, she lets him play video games the whole time so he's quiet and then sits in the same room with him and reads her book.

    On the other hand, I come back from an errand and actually have things to do (since I'm not on vacation at my house) and do not have the luxury of sitting in the room with him to make sure he plays his video game so that he'll be quiet :rolleyes:
     
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