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<blockquote data-quote="klnsc" data-source="post: 367372"><p>Hi</p><p> </p><p>I'm new here and have been lurking for a few weeks. I've learned a lot and appreciate everyone's shares. My son just turned 11 and for the last year, I've taken him to psychiatrists, therapists, occupational therapists, the emergency room and even had him hospitalized for a few days because of threatening behavior towards me. Last year he started taking Prozac (didn't work), then went on Abilify (didn't work), Lexapro (didn't work) and he is currently on Lamictal (we are slowly increasing the dosage--50mg. but I don't see any results). He tried Vyvance recently for a few days but was up until 12am every night so we stopped that. He was diagnosed with- Mood Disorder not otherwise specified, ADHD, ODD and possible CD. His psychiatrist is concerned because none of the medications have worked and thinks he is going to end up in the Juvenille Justice System. His therapist does not think anything is wrong with- him... that he's just making bad choices and that I need to be more consistent with- my parenting. I have a masters degree in couseling and work with- lots of children and have a high success rate, but can't seem to get a handle on my own child. I feel overwhelmed, frustrated, guilty, exhausted and at times, hopeless. I feel like I'm spinning my wheels, running all over the place trying to "fix" the situation (myself included) and nothing is working. At what point do you slow things down and face the reality that they don't care about what's happening and have no desire to change? I can only change myself and provide him the opportunity to get help but he's not getting it! I even started going to Al Anon to work on boundaries with- him and try not to allow him to get to me every day. My life has become one big crisis and this is all I'm focused on. </p><p> </p><p>Here are some things he does... some on a daily (if not hourly) basis......</p><ul> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Constantly asks for things (buy him a cell phone, to go to his favorite store--if I say no to one store, he'll ask about 5 others, go out to lunch, buy this, that, etc.) ALL DAY--as if he has a sense of entitlement.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Throws temper tantrums if he doesn't get his way</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Has tantrums (crying & violent) fits at least 3-4 times each day</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Refuses to do chores (even though he doesn't have many to do)</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Challenges everything I say; does not take no for an answer</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Tries to bargain with- me and make deals ("I'll mow the lawn if you do ____")</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Hates his teacher, therapist, doctor, anyone in authority</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Never takes responsibility for his own behavior; can't see his part; blames others for everything</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Has gone through my room and closets and taken things</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Has stolen from his brother (money) and several friends (their ipods and video games--then traded them into Gamestop for money and more games)</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Was suspected to have hacked the computer system at school and deleted a teacher's files</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Seems to have several different personalities (real sweet and loving when he wants something and if I say no he flips out and says he hates me, I make him sick, etc.; calls his dad to tell him how mean I am and acts like he's sad and depressed--his dad always buys into it!)</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">He can be terribly disrespectful all day and at the end of the night, he will cry hysterically and say he's so sorry, that he loves me and doesn't know why he's so mean to me.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">A few weeks ago he became violent in the house (overtured a coffee table, banging chairs, kicking walls) and I called the police. He was taken to the er but I chose not to admit him. Several weeks later he did the same thing and I had him admitted. He was out within 3 days because he was a model patient.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">He is very bright (turns everything I say around) and can be very charming when he wants something</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Seems to hate me and think I'm against him and "set him up" to get in trouble. I am his target and if his teachers knew about his behavior at home, they would be shocked. In fact, I just started telling my family (for more support) and they are in shock be/c he comes across as this loving little boy.</li> </ul><p>I can go on and on. I realize that some of you experience these issues with your children as well. I'm wondering where to go from here. His therapist told me today that I need to work on being more consistent and following through with- what I say. He thinks my son doesn't know how to express himself and I am his target because I'm safe. He put my son in group with- Asburgers children and is using him as the Typical Peer and wants me to work on my parenting and consistency. The therapist doesn't think he needs medications, especially since non have worked so far. He thinks my son is depressed and has low self esteem but has learned to manipulate and get his way to the point of throwing temper tantrums in order to get what he wants. </p><p> </p><p>I know I'm rambling now... I just wanted to share. Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated... and if anyone has any answers or a solution, I will gladly pay you! <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klnsc, post: 367372"] Hi I'm new here and have been lurking for a few weeks. I've learned a lot and appreciate everyone's shares. My son just turned 11 and for the last year, I've taken him to psychiatrists, therapists, occupational therapists, the emergency room and even had him hospitalized for a few days because of threatening behavior towards me. Last year he started taking Prozac (didn't work), then went on Abilify (didn't work), Lexapro (didn't work) and he is currently on Lamictal (we are slowly increasing the dosage--50mg. but I don't see any results). He tried Vyvance recently for a few days but was up until 12am every night so we stopped that. He was diagnosed with- Mood Disorder not otherwise specified, ADHD, ODD and possible CD. His psychiatrist is concerned because none of the medications have worked and thinks he is going to end up in the Juvenille Justice System. His therapist does not think anything is wrong with- him... that he's just making bad choices and that I need to be more consistent with- my parenting. I have a masters degree in couseling and work with- lots of children and have a high success rate, but can't seem to get a handle on my own child. I feel overwhelmed, frustrated, guilty, exhausted and at times, hopeless. I feel like I'm spinning my wheels, running all over the place trying to "fix" the situation (myself included) and nothing is working. At what point do you slow things down and face the reality that they don't care about what's happening and have no desire to change? I can only change myself and provide him the opportunity to get help but he's not getting it! I even started going to Al Anon to work on boundaries with- him and try not to allow him to get to me every day. My life has become one big crisis and this is all I'm focused on. Here are some things he does... some on a daily (if not hourly) basis...... [LIST] [*]Constantly asks for things (buy him a cell phone, to go to his favorite store--if I say no to one store, he'll ask about 5 others, go out to lunch, buy this, that, etc.) ALL DAY--as if he has a sense of entitlement. [*]Throws temper tantrums if he doesn't get his way [*]Has tantrums (crying & violent) fits at least 3-4 times each day [*]Refuses to do chores (even though he doesn't have many to do) [*]Challenges everything I say; does not take no for an answer [*]Tries to bargain with- me and make deals ("I'll mow the lawn if you do ____") [*]Hates his teacher, therapist, doctor, anyone in authority [*]Never takes responsibility for his own behavior; can't see his part; blames others for everything [*]Has gone through my room and closets and taken things [*]Has stolen from his brother (money) and several friends (their ipods and video games--then traded them into Gamestop for money and more games) [*]Was suspected to have hacked the computer system at school and deleted a teacher's files [*]Seems to have several different personalities (real sweet and loving when he wants something and if I say no he flips out and says he hates me, I make him sick, etc.; calls his dad to tell him how mean I am and acts like he's sad and depressed--his dad always buys into it!) [*]He can be terribly disrespectful all day and at the end of the night, he will cry hysterically and say he's so sorry, that he loves me and doesn't know why he's so mean to me. [*]A few weeks ago he became violent in the house (overtured a coffee table, banging chairs, kicking walls) and I called the police. He was taken to the er but I chose not to admit him. Several weeks later he did the same thing and I had him admitted. He was out within 3 days because he was a model patient. [*]He is very bright (turns everything I say around) and can be very charming when he wants something [*]Seems to hate me and think I'm against him and "set him up" to get in trouble. I am his target and if his teachers knew about his behavior at home, they would be shocked. In fact, I just started telling my family (for more support) and they are in shock be/c he comes across as this loving little boy. [/LIST]I can go on and on. I realize that some of you experience these issues with your children as well. I'm wondering where to go from here. His therapist told me today that I need to work on being more consistent and following through with- what I say. He thinks my son doesn't know how to express himself and I am his target because I'm safe. He put my son in group with- Asburgers children and is using him as the Typical Peer and wants me to work on my parenting and consistency. The therapist doesn't think he needs medications, especially since non have worked so far. He thinks my son is depressed and has low self esteem but has learned to manipulate and get his way to the point of throwing temper tantrums in order to get what he wants. I know I'm rambling now... I just wanted to share. Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated... and if anyone has any answers or a solution, I will gladly pay you! :winking: [/QUOTE]
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