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New.... does this sound "normal"?
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<blockquote data-quote="Andy" data-source="post: 367407" data-attributes="member: 5096"><p>Hi! I agree that a neuropscyh exam is what you need. Testing and possibly medications will help a great deal. However, your son also has a job to do. He has to make the choices to make his own life easier. If other people are not seeing this negative behavior, that is a sign that he is cabable of making good choices. It also sounds like he can be a bit manipulative with you. You say you work successfully with other kids. The thing that is different here with your own child is "emotions". Yours to be exact. You are emotionally involved with your son. You are personally hurt by his behavior. "How can MY son be like this?" (I have been there). And my diva would throw it back in my face with an "I can do whatever I want" attitude.</p><p> </p><p>A book that helped me is "The Manipulative Child". It helped me to remove my emotions from the equation in a situation and keep the focus on the issue at hand. It showed me that my child's anger toward me was a manipulation. Our kids know that we want them to be happy and healthy so if we are not agreeing on something, they think showing another emotion such as sadness or anger will kick in our want to give in to keep the peace and bring happiness into their lives. My diva is the world's pro at making EVERYTHING under the sun MY fault. I could be hours away but for some reason, negative things are my fault and she tries to give her problems to me by proving that I did wrong. That is manipulation to get out of trouble.</p><p> </p><p>It doesn't help matters that Dad is not seeing the big picture. Your son has a "safe haven" to avoid his responisibilities.</p><p> </p><p>I don't have any answers. Read the book and know that therapy, testing, possible medications and your son's own choices need to work together to make his life happier.</p><p> </p><p>My difficult child was 11 years old when we started having problems. We had some pretty intense moments but not nearly what you are going through. I would do a lot of talking with him rehashing the day's events. I always asked him what kind of person he wants to become and if those behaviors fit that mold. I also told him that it was up to him to make the right choice no matter how hard it was. I tried not to tell him that what he did was wrong but tried to lead him into seeing how his behaviors hurt himself and others.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Andy, post: 367407, member: 5096"] Hi! I agree that a neuropscyh exam is what you need. Testing and possibly medications will help a great deal. However, your son also has a job to do. He has to make the choices to make his own life easier. If other people are not seeing this negative behavior, that is a sign that he is cabable of making good choices. It also sounds like he can be a bit manipulative with you. You say you work successfully with other kids. The thing that is different here with your own child is "emotions". Yours to be exact. You are emotionally involved with your son. You are personally hurt by his behavior. "How can MY son be like this?" (I have been there). And my diva would throw it back in my face with an "I can do whatever I want" attitude. A book that helped me is "The Manipulative Child". It helped me to remove my emotions from the equation in a situation and keep the focus on the issue at hand. It showed me that my child's anger toward me was a manipulation. Our kids know that we want them to be happy and healthy so if we are not agreeing on something, they think showing another emotion such as sadness or anger will kick in our want to give in to keep the peace and bring happiness into their lives. My diva is the world's pro at making EVERYTHING under the sun MY fault. I could be hours away but for some reason, negative things are my fault and she tries to give her problems to me by proving that I did wrong. That is manipulation to get out of trouble. It doesn't help matters that Dad is not seeing the big picture. Your son has a "safe haven" to avoid his responisibilities. I don't have any answers. Read the book and know that therapy, testing, possible medications and your son's own choices need to work together to make his life happier. My difficult child was 11 years old when we started having problems. We had some pretty intense moments but not nearly what you are going through. I would do a lot of talking with him rehashing the day's events. I always asked him what kind of person he wants to become and if those behaviors fit that mold. I also told him that it was up to him to make the right choice no matter how hard it was. I tried not to tell him that what he did was wrong but tried to lead him into seeing how his behaviors hurt himself and others. [/QUOTE]
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