New epidemic: Adult child cutting off their parents (article)

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by MidwestMom, Jan 12, 2015.

  1. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

  2. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    So sad.
     
  3. We are dealing with this with our 19yo son, who started cutting us off with no explanation when he was 16. He moved in with his girlfriend's family. We haven't seen or heard from him in five months. The girlfriend's family is sort of like a hippie commune and the girlfriend is a drama queen and spoiled brat. I do think he's been brainwashed a bit.

    So this leaves us with difficult child, who I just gave an eviction notice to. I'm a nice enough person and have bent over backwards to put my kids' needs first. Is that why they are so self-centered?
     
  4. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    This is epidemic now, and it goes along with entitlement. If an adult child doesn't want to contact his parent anymore, he doesn't. Apparently the hurt it causes is not an issue. It is sadly common and maybe the new normal.

    I still don't know my son whom we adopted at six dumped everyone but my ex. I will never find out.

    If I had known about kids leaving parents in droves, I may never have had any. Seriously, I feel your hurt. I feel it because I hurt myself.

    Hugs for your hurting heart...and maybe for mine too.
     
  5. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Wow, MWM thanks for posting that article. How very sad. You know, my closest girl friend's brother did that to their Mom.....no reason, no explanation, just said he wanted nothing to do with his mother. The guy is a successful Doctor, not a difficult child, and no one knows what happened. It's been about 15 years. And a man I work with told me that his daughter one day told he and his wife, she never wanted to see them again and that they did not want the grandparents to see the teenage grandkids either. The daughter just wiped her own family off and the grandparents still don't know why. After 5 years they changed their wills. It was very painful. Now that I think about it, I know quite a number of parents whose kids disowned them. And, not one of them knows why. That is heartbreaking.
     
  6. cubsgirl

    cubsgirl Well-Known Member

    We are dealing with this with difficult child 1. She has cut us off without explanation. It hurts so much.
     
  7. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm so sorry cubsgirl.
     
  8. Well, I'm in a strange position because my mother and I haven't spoken in a year. She's a narcissistic a-hole. We've never been close. Ironically, the big blow up that led to our estrangement stemmed from me reaching out to her. I told her I would like to work on our relationship.

    Apparently, she didn't think much was wrong with our relationship. After talking for a bit, she got angrier and angrier, and told me she didn't need my negativity and not to contact her until I was all done with my "temper tantrum." I'm not a melodramatic person; I don't tantrum. She just didn't like what I had to say.

    So, though I can understand the hurt caused by estranged children when they don't tell you WHY (like with my son), I also think there are a lot of parents who absolutely know WHY, but they lie to their friends to save face. I have no doubt that my mother vilifies me to her friends.
     
  9. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    My son whom we adopted at six did this too and we don't know why. It does help to know it's just not us, but happens often. It is disheartening that the in the U.S., we are #1 in this happening.
     
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  10. hopeandjoy66

    hopeandjoy66 Member

    Greenstockings, that is a complete ditto for me as well. All we want is a healthy adult relationship and they are unwilling to see the issues. It is not an easy decision to do this at all. Sometimes there is just cause. Now 5 years without communication. Very Sad.
     
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