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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 680751" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>What we are getting at is some limitation in capacity of the child to exercise a free range of choices and the inability of the parent to walk away because of the restricted capacity of the child, or the fear of such. We are striving for a way for the parent to take care of themselves, to be hopeful and to not restrict the child in living independently, developing capacities, and following their life path.</p><p></p><p>I am dealing with this exact thing right now. And I am failing. I am distraught. I feel at the end of my rope. I keep pushing my son to change, and he while he is no longer as defiant, looks at me like a deer in the headlights. Like I am speaking to him in some language he has never heard of.</p><p></p><p>He is evaluated by his caregiver as having poor judgment and little insight. I have to accept that.</p><p></p><p>He wants others to take responsibility for him.</p><p></p><p>But he lies to us like a person with a personality disorder. We get angry. Me, because I feel so desperately afraid. M because he feels my son treats him as if he is a fool. My son is very bright. M cannot understand how somebody so smart can make such poor choices. He does not get it. I get it better, but cannot seem to accept it.</p><p></p><p>He yells at me in front of people. He tells untrue stories about us. I want to help him but I do not know how to without being so damaged myself. I am at my wits end.</p><p></p><p><u>Desperate Parents</u>: Teen and adult children with complex developmental and mental issues.</p><p></p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 680751, member: 18958"] What we are getting at is some limitation in capacity of the child to exercise a free range of choices and the inability of the parent to walk away because of the restricted capacity of the child, or the fear of such. We are striving for a way for the parent to take care of themselves, to be hopeful and to not restrict the child in living independently, developing capacities, and following their life path. I am dealing with this exact thing right now. And I am failing. I am distraught. I feel at the end of my rope. I keep pushing my son to change, and he while he is no longer as defiant, looks at me like a deer in the headlights. Like I am speaking to him in some language he has never heard of. He is evaluated by his caregiver as having poor judgment and little insight. I have to accept that. He wants others to take responsibility for him. But he lies to us like a person with a personality disorder. We get angry. Me, because I feel so desperately afraid. M because he feels my son treats him as if he is a fool. My son is very bright. M cannot understand how somebody so smart can make such poor choices. He does not get it. I get it better, but cannot seem to accept it. He yells at me in front of people. He tells untrue stories about us. I want to help him but I do not know how to without being so damaged myself. I am at my wits end. [U]Desperate Parents[/U]: Teen and adult children with complex developmental and mental issues. COPA [/QUOTE]
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