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New future Step-Mom needs help with probable ODD child
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<blockquote data-quote="Peace Please" data-source="post: 415982" data-attributes="member: 11492"><p>Hi. I am brand new to this site, and I desperately need help. I recently became engaged to a 37 year-old man who has a 13 year-old boy who has been diagnosed with ADHD, and who I believe has ODD. I am 37. I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) (well controlled with medication), and I am the primary caregiver for this child. I have been living with these two wonderful men for almost a year, and the child's behavior is really starting to get to me. We recently moved into an apartment, just the three of us, and I am alone with him a LOT (his Dad works almost 60 hours a week). </p><p> </p><p>He throws temper tantrums daily, especially when I ask him to do anything that requires him to turn off the video game, TV, or what he wants to do. He argues with me about taking a shower, telling me he will take one later that day. Well, I've learned that he is just putting me off, hoping that I will forget. He already attends a school for children with behavior problems, and they send home daily reports about his behavior that day. He throws things at other students when they annoy him, threatens other students and yells at his teachers constantly. He walks out of the classroom or pretends that he's sick if he's asked to do anything he doesn't want to do. I'm very afraid that he will escalate this behavior to more violent outbursts. He has had numerous detentions this year and has been suspended five times. His principal is talking about making him repeat the seventh grade because his grades and behavior have been horrible.</p><p> </p><p>His Mom has been in and out of his life, and he does have a step-mom who tries to be involved, but I don't know if that is helping or hurting. My fiancee is currently in the process of divorcing her, and she's not very happy about it. I believe that she is causing more problems with him. He spends every other weekend with her, and when he comes back, he's more argumentative and acts up more in school. </p><p> </p><p>We have been trying to teach him that his behavior is unacceptable by taking away luxuries like his video games, TV and computer when he acts up in school or at home. This usually ends up being more of a punishment for me, since he spends the whole time pestering me. He will say my name over and over, and when I acknowledge him, he will say HI or throw a pillow at me. I have asked him over and over not to do that because it annoys me, but that just makes him do it more, and now I think I know why. I have read some information about ODD, and I believe this is what is going on with him. </p><p> </p><p>Can anyone please give me some advice on how to deal with this situation? I don't want him to get worse, and some of his outbursts are scaring me. Thank you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Peace Please, post: 415982, member: 11492"] Hi. I am brand new to this site, and I desperately need help. I recently became engaged to a 37 year-old man who has a 13 year-old boy who has been diagnosed with ADHD, and who I believe has ODD. I am 37. I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) (well controlled with medication), and I am the primary caregiver for this child. I have been living with these two wonderful men for almost a year, and the child's behavior is really starting to get to me. We recently moved into an apartment, just the three of us, and I am alone with him a LOT (his Dad works almost 60 hours a week). He throws temper tantrums daily, especially when I ask him to do anything that requires him to turn off the video game, TV, or what he wants to do. He argues with me about taking a shower, telling me he will take one later that day. Well, I've learned that he is just putting me off, hoping that I will forget. He already attends a school for children with behavior problems, and they send home daily reports about his behavior that day. He throws things at other students when they annoy him, threatens other students and yells at his teachers constantly. He walks out of the classroom or pretends that he's sick if he's asked to do anything he doesn't want to do. I'm very afraid that he will escalate this behavior to more violent outbursts. He has had numerous detentions this year and has been suspended five times. His principal is talking about making him repeat the seventh grade because his grades and behavior have been horrible. His Mom has been in and out of his life, and he does have a step-mom who tries to be involved, but I don't know if that is helping or hurting. My fiancee is currently in the process of divorcing her, and she's not very happy about it. I believe that she is causing more problems with him. He spends every other weekend with her, and when he comes back, he's more argumentative and acts up more in school. We have been trying to teach him that his behavior is unacceptable by taking away luxuries like his video games, TV and computer when he acts up in school or at home. This usually ends up being more of a punishment for me, since he spends the whole time pestering me. He will say my name over and over, and when I acknowledge him, he will say HI or throw a pillow at me. I have asked him over and over not to do that because it annoys me, but that just makes him do it more, and now I think I know why. I have read some information about ODD, and I believe this is what is going on with him. Can anyone please give me some advice on how to deal with this situation? I don't want him to get worse, and some of his outbursts are scaring me. Thank you. [/QUOTE]
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