Our daughter just turned 18 last month. From 8yo to 14 yo, she was homeschooled, and reentered the p.s. system in 9th grade. Her transition to p.s. revealed a young lady with a weak self-image and poor real-world coping skills. Her teachers and I noticed those same traits when she attended p.s. prior to being homeschooled, but I think they became more entrenched due to my enabling her during her years at home. She's intelligent, but doesn't seem to understand that intelligence must be paired with hard work and delayed gratification. She seems to see herself as exempt from reality.
Once in high school, the lowest common denominator crowd became irresistible to our daughter in her quest to "fit in". Consequently, she has become increasingly more defiant in her quest to have a "real" social life with these friends who have few or no rules. Thankfully, some of them aren't easily accessible for hanging out with due to being carless and jobless. Several have been eliminated from our lives by being arrested for dumb petty crimes. Most of them are also unwilling to continue to hang out with the girl whose parents ask too many questions.
Things took a turn for the worse when, last summer, she started staying out all night (sometimes for days at a time), and even left the state, without our permission, for a week's vacation with a girlfriend. She started off this school year well, but signed herself out last month when she turned 18. She claims her plan is to get her GED and enroll in college. My husband (her stepdad since age 3) and I decided that she MUST begin working full-time since she signed herself out of school. A few weeks ago, she was hired at a factory job which allows her to work long shifts with 3 days off at a time. she hasn't been studying for her GED because she spends her days off at her cousin's house (her cousin is a hard worker and will be going off to college next fall).
She's a very hard worker when she applies herself, but has lost two previous jobs due to irresponsible behavior (failing to present a work permit and failing to report for work when scheduled).
Because we live off the bus line, we agreed to transport her to and from her last job in order to allow her to earn enough money to buy a car, but she wasted the money on clothes, junk food, and her vacation. Her assertion was/is that she has the right to spend her earnings on what she pleases, and that any money she spends can be reearned. She also says that we cannot supply her with motivation to study, go to college, earn a GED, etc. She has to want it herself, she says. She plans to attend an open enrollment college in January, but is making no effort to prepare herself to do so. We've had so many plans without follow through.
We would make her move out, but she has no car and the factory job isn't completely stable (periodic layoffs). My husband is taking her to and from work everyday, but we haven't provided any other material perks for the past three years other than food, shelter, and laundry facilities. When at home, she's easygoing and pleasant as long as I'm not "bugging" her, so it's especially hard to justify our decision to ask her to move out.
Thanks for listening/reading. I'm rambling.
Once in high school, the lowest common denominator crowd became irresistible to our daughter in her quest to "fit in". Consequently, she has become increasingly more defiant in her quest to have a "real" social life with these friends who have few or no rules. Thankfully, some of them aren't easily accessible for hanging out with due to being carless and jobless. Several have been eliminated from our lives by being arrested for dumb petty crimes. Most of them are also unwilling to continue to hang out with the girl whose parents ask too many questions.
Things took a turn for the worse when, last summer, she started staying out all night (sometimes for days at a time), and even left the state, without our permission, for a week's vacation with a girlfriend. She started off this school year well, but signed herself out last month when she turned 18. She claims her plan is to get her GED and enroll in college. My husband (her stepdad since age 3) and I decided that she MUST begin working full-time since she signed herself out of school. A few weeks ago, she was hired at a factory job which allows her to work long shifts with 3 days off at a time. she hasn't been studying for her GED because she spends her days off at her cousin's house (her cousin is a hard worker and will be going off to college next fall).
She's a very hard worker when she applies herself, but has lost two previous jobs due to irresponsible behavior (failing to present a work permit and failing to report for work when scheduled).
Because we live off the bus line, we agreed to transport her to and from her last job in order to allow her to earn enough money to buy a car, but she wasted the money on clothes, junk food, and her vacation. Her assertion was/is that she has the right to spend her earnings on what she pleases, and that any money she spends can be reearned. She also says that we cannot supply her with motivation to study, go to college, earn a GED, etc. She has to want it herself, she says. She plans to attend an open enrollment college in January, but is making no effort to prepare herself to do so. We've had so many plans without follow through.
We would make her move out, but she has no car and the factory job isn't completely stable (periodic layoffs). My husband is taking her to and from work everyday, but we haven't provided any other material perks for the past three years other than food, shelter, and laundry facilities. When at home, she's easygoing and pleasant as long as I'm not "bugging" her, so it's especially hard to justify our decision to ask her to move out.
Thanks for listening/reading. I'm rambling.
