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New Here - 18 difficult child stealing
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<blockquote data-quote="nerfherder" data-source="post: 580887" data-attributes="member: 15907"><p>Hi! </p><p></p><p>First, forgive me if my words come out odd - I'm typing through a fever of 101+. Bah.</p><p></p><p>My 17 year old (see Kiddo's profile bottom of page) has a real pilfering problem. We're waiting on the intake evaluation with our local Mental Health agency, I'm hoping for some kind of behavioral intervention to limit the pilfering.</p><p></p><p>But my reality is that I doubt it will work. The ABCs of behavioral intervention - Antecedent (the things that happen to trigger the behavior), Behavior, Consequences - won't work with Kiddo. The Antecedent is the opportunity, the Behavior is the stealing, and the Consequences are meaningless because she got what she wanted, even if we or someone else takes it or something else of hers away, it's pointless, the behavior has happened.</p><p></p><p>I don't want to be discouraging, but do NOT hate yourself or beat up on yourself if the behavior never changes (or changes for the worse.) Some kids (and adults) just never figure it out. There's a breakage in there somewhere, whether in an empathy circuit or delayed gratification circuit, or some other part of the psyche or soul.</p><p></p><p>Sometimes they realize they have a problem, and then it's their choice how to heal themselves. My Kiddo is unlikely to ever have the capacity for self-reflection at that level, so we have to do things like glue her pockets shut, pat her down if she's been out of sight in a retail establishment or restaurant, and hope someday she gets into a ISLA group home where they can manage the behaviors. I'm just tired of it myself.</p><p></p><p>And ABSOLUTELY read that link on Detachment. I've only been here a couple weeks, and it's done me a world of good. </p><p></p><p>Can you manage a counselor or therapist for yourself? Sessions of marriage counseling also can help clear the air and provide input from a neutral third party. </p><p></p><p>May your outcomes all be the best possible.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="nerfherder, post: 580887, member: 15907"] Hi! First, forgive me if my words come out odd - I'm typing through a fever of 101+. Bah. My 17 year old (see Kiddo's profile bottom of page) has a real pilfering problem. We're waiting on the intake evaluation with our local Mental Health agency, I'm hoping for some kind of behavioral intervention to limit the pilfering. But my reality is that I doubt it will work. The ABCs of behavioral intervention - Antecedent (the things that happen to trigger the behavior), Behavior, Consequences - won't work with Kiddo. The Antecedent is the opportunity, the Behavior is the stealing, and the Consequences are meaningless because she got what she wanted, even if we or someone else takes it or something else of hers away, it's pointless, the behavior has happened. I don't want to be discouraging, but do NOT hate yourself or beat up on yourself if the behavior never changes (or changes for the worse.) Some kids (and adults) just never figure it out. There's a breakage in there somewhere, whether in an empathy circuit or delayed gratification circuit, or some other part of the psyche or soul. Sometimes they realize they have a problem, and then it's their choice how to heal themselves. My Kiddo is unlikely to ever have the capacity for self-reflection at that level, so we have to do things like glue her pockets shut, pat her down if she's been out of sight in a retail establishment or restaurant, and hope someday she gets into a ISLA group home where they can manage the behaviors. I'm just tired of it myself. And ABSOLUTELY read that link on Detachment. I've only been here a couple weeks, and it's done me a world of good. Can you manage a counselor or therapist for yourself? Sessions of marriage counseling also can help clear the air and provide input from a neutral third party. May your outcomes all be the best possible. [/QUOTE]
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