New here. 5 y/o is making me nutso

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by adk, Oct 29, 2009.

  1. adk

    adk New Member

    Hey everybody. This is my very first post here, and I've gotta say that I'm relieved to find such an active message board full of parents with similar problems.

    Here is a bit of my story. I'm a single parent to a 5 year old little boy. He was diagnosed ADHD earlier in the year. We tried a few medications, but they didn't help. He was placed in an "alternative behavior" class last month due to his acting out in school. Basically, he was enrolled in the best magnet school in our county and due to him not fitting the mold (temper tantrums, back talk, etc) he was removed. Apparently after he completes this class, he can return, but I feel he has already been labeled and would really like to seek another school in our area.

    Anyway, thats just a bit of background. We have had HUGE problems with mornings lately. Take this morning for example, he would not get out of bed after being asked more than once. Finally I offered him the choice of get out of bed and get dressed or you will choose not to have breakfast this morning. This then turned into him yelling and hitting me calling me names "you're the meanest mom". Most mornings we have issues with him actually getting up and getting dressed. I just do not understand WHY it is such a problem EVERY DAY. Its not lack of sleep (he goes to bed at 8, wakes up at 7) its just non-compliance.

    We are seeing a child psychologist who has advised me I need to be firm with him (like I didn't already know that). Ugh. I'm sorry if my post is just rambling on and on I'm just frustrated and needed to get it out somewhere. I hate feeling like I can't enjoy time with my child because EVERYTHING turns into a huge control issue.
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Hi and welcome.

    Sounds more than ADHD to me. Who diagnosed him?

    How was his early development? Any psychiatric disorders or substance abuse issues on either side of his biological family tree?

    Has he ever seen a NeuroPspych? in my opinion being "tough" on him is simplistic and won't work. I think the psychologist sounds like he doesn't really "get" that this child is wired differently and harder to raise. He is giving advice as if this were just a regular child with a few defiance issues. Not that he's not a regular child, but he's going to be tougher to raise than most kids and you really need to try to nail down his entire big picture (your son).
  3. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    Hi and welcome.

    When what you're doing isn't working, sometimes the best thing to do is to throw it out and look for an alternative. Many of us have success with the strategies in the book "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. You'll find a thread at the top of this board with tips on adapting it to younger child. It takes some getting used to because it's not traditional authority parenting but it might be worth a try for you.

    Did he meet all of his developmental milestones--Speech, walking, etc. on time?

    Outside of the defiant behavior are you seeing any other unusual or quirky behavior?

    What are the credentials of the professionals who are working with him--we usually recommend developmental pediatricians and pediatric neuropsychologists for children in this age group.