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General Parenting
New here- 7 y/o son with ADHD/ODD, tearing us apart.
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<blockquote data-quote="fightingthetide" data-source="post: 498310" data-attributes="member: 13610"><p>Malika- Let me see if I can explain, my son will continually attempt to engage us in a power struggle. The topic is interchangeable. It doesn't matter how many ways I can try to convince him that the sky is blue, he is not going to admit it, and the fact that I merely engaged him in an argument has put us on equal footing. What I see happening is a continual engagement of an argument/fight/lecture after repeated bad behavior, with no real consistent consequences or rewards. Not that I/we haven't tried. From my understanding, all this is doing is re-inforcing the negative behavior because he is being given a lot of attention for negative behavior. We have been told by the professionals that he should be going into a time-out , spend the time there alone, and can get control of himself there in the prescribed time, then be done with it. Well, its not the way its being handled. And we have a train wreck on our hands. Typically, we are forcing him to his room, fighting, kicking and screaming, then there is a big blow up because he's woken my husband up (he works nights), and then he wants to physically fight and get out of his room some more, then my son gets lectured, etc for 20-25 mins or so. My sons room is sparse because of the furniture and toys he's ruined. His door is a mess because he's bashed it so many times. I do not know what to do. We have been told to ignore him when he is like this , not give it more attention. Your thoughts?</p><p></p><p>His Dad amazingly does a very good job of making sure he gets special attention. Actually, I think he hold a special place in Dad's heart. It's been tough for me, but he can be a very different boy one on one, and I, too, get the opportunity once in a while to see that. Lately though, it's as if he's not "reachable."</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="fightingthetide, post: 498310, member: 13610"] Malika- Let me see if I can explain, my son will continually attempt to engage us in a power struggle. The topic is interchangeable. It doesn't matter how many ways I can try to convince him that the sky is blue, he is not going to admit it, and the fact that I merely engaged him in an argument has put us on equal footing. What I see happening is a continual engagement of an argument/fight/lecture after repeated bad behavior, with no real consistent consequences or rewards. Not that I/we haven't tried. From my understanding, all this is doing is re-inforcing the negative behavior because he is being given a lot of attention for negative behavior. We have been told by the professionals that he should be going into a time-out , spend the time there alone, and can get control of himself there in the prescribed time, then be done with it. Well, its not the way its being handled. And we have a train wreck on our hands. Typically, we are forcing him to his room, fighting, kicking and screaming, then there is a big blow up because he's woken my husband up (he works nights), and then he wants to physically fight and get out of his room some more, then my son gets lectured, etc for 20-25 mins or so. My sons room is sparse because of the furniture and toys he's ruined. His door is a mess because he's bashed it so many times. I do not know what to do. We have been told to ignore him when he is like this , not give it more attention. Your thoughts? His Dad amazingly does a very good job of making sure he gets special attention. Actually, I think he hold a special place in Dad's heart. It's been tough for me, but he can be a very different boy one on one, and I, too, get the opportunity once in a while to see that. Lately though, it's as if he's not "reachable." [/QUOTE]
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New here- 7 y/o son with ADHD/ODD, tearing us apart.
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