new here a bit of info about me and mine!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Korky, Oct 18, 2007.

  1. Korky

    Korky New Member

    hi there, my name is korky and I am a 37yr old mom of 4 kids, I live in England U.K. My youngest 2 kids both have problems, their father had conduct disorder as a child and was later diagnosed as anti-social personality disorder when he was put in jail for being an abusive father, that was 10yrs ago. My daughter is 14 and was diagnosed as having ODD when she was just 2yrs old. my son is 12 and has ADHD, Aspergers and Epilepsy.

    I have pretty much coped with a lot over the years, my older 2 children are 22 and 18, so if your math is good you will see I was only a child myself when I had my first! My main area of difficulty at the moment is my daughter seems to be getting more and more oppositional every day, she argues with me constantly and it is really wearing me down, she also has PMS in the mix as well so once a month we have an aggressive monster in the house! It is almost like she has a split personality because she can be so lovely and caring one minute, then the next minute I am scared of her! I try not to think of the possible genetic thing, I hate to admit it but sometimes she reminds me so much of her father, I was married to him for 6 years and it was hell on earth. I have done the best for my kids, but at the moment nothing seems good enough for my a time when I have finally got my son sorted out!! Any comments or advice will be much appreciated...Thanks in advance...Korky
  2. Martie

    Martie Moderator

    Welcome Korky.

    You haver found the right place. We have several members from the UK and many from the US who will be responding.

    I have to go to work, but I just wanted to say, "hello."

  3. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    hi Korky!


    I have a female difficult child, too. PMS can be brutal!

    Does she have any other diagnosis other than ODD? Usually, not always, ODD is comorbid with another diagnosis and it is used to describe the behavior that comes with the other disorder.

    Has she been trialed on any medications?
  4. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Hello Korky, welcome to the board!

    I can SO relate to the PMSing teenager. If I ever wanted to toss a kid out the window, it was when my Copper was having her monthly.

    You have found a safe place to land. I just wanted to offer up some support and let you know that you are not alone. I had my Copper when I was but a kid myself. Sending you cyberhugs. Sorry you had to find us, but glad you did!
  5. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    Welcome to the board.

    When my difficult child is PMS'ing, I try to avoid direct eye contact. I'm afraid I might be turned to stone. :wink:

    The Explosive Child by Ross Greene is a good read and gives a lot of insight into our difficult child's minds.
  6. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

  7. mekki

    mekki New Member

    I have no words of wisdom but....Hello!
  8. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    Hi and welcome. I just hide out in my room when my daughter is PMSing. Sometimes discretion truly is the better part of valour.

    Like you, I have a daughter that will argue anything and everything into the ground. I never really found a way to stop her. If I walked away, she'd argue with my back. If I engaged, it would simply get ugly by both of us. The only thing that really worked is if I completely took myself out of the picture, that is, get in the car and leave.

    It has gotten somewhat better but only because I have told her in no uncertain terms that I am not willing to live this way any longer. If she thinks she has the right to tell me what to do, she's dead wrong. If she doesn't like the living conditions here, she is 20 years old and free to move out. Further, I'd be more than happy to help her if she continued with the behavior. It has stopped a lot of the arguing.

    Good luck!
  9. hopefloats

    hopefloats New Member

    just wanted to say Hi!
  10. Korky

    Korky New Member

    thanks to yoou all for the lovely welcome! I am just so glad to hear stories from others who have the same kind of problems, I thought I had raised a monster lol

    things are quieting down on the PMS side now for this month... and I am trying not to engage too much to keep the peace. I have noticed that she is better when I am stricter, if I am nice mommy for a few days she gets worse...go figure! so I am being very firm and laying down a lot of boundaries!

    it seems to be working, for now anyway!

    She isn't on any medication, but she has been having a lot of aches and pains for about 6 months, as I have fibro I was worried that she might have that too... she gets a lot more irritable when she is stiff and achey. But the docs are just saying she is depressed, so who knows??

    anyway...thanks again
  11. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Hi Korky and welcome!

    So glad you have found your way here!

    There is a lot of support here, with a healthy dose of humor to get us through our days!