Hi, I'm new here. I've read through some of the posts and guidelines, hopefully I've gotten everything down. I came here because I really don't know what else to do with my youngest son. He is 7 and was diagnosed a couple months ago with ODD, nothing else underlying that the psychologist has found at this point in time. My son has really had the defiant behaviors for as long as I can remember, but recently it has really started to set the tone in our household. husband and I haven't been getting along well before he deployed because we don't agree on how to parent/discipline him which of course he figured out and started playing us against one another. My older kids can't have friends over because it's impossible to get him to leave them alone, even if I plan a distraction ahead of time. I am just so tired of having to fight to get him to do anything and I can't leave him alone with another child for one minute or he's starting a fight. He used to have trouble sleeping, he had severe separation anxiety and couldn't fall asleep without me, but he has outgrown some of that and we have been able to help him calm down to sleep with Melatonin so thankfully I get some respite in the evenings. So when we started seeing the psychologist I told him that what I would like to get out of his visits were more effective parenting strategies because nothing I am doing is working and I want help teaching DS how to control his anger and talk about his feelings without hurting anyone, yelling, etc. So far the only advice he's given me is to use 1-2-3 Magic. This is my youngest of 5 children, I told him I have used that with all of my kids very effectively, however it does nothing for my youngest because it actually escalates the situation, it makes things worse, I always get to 3, punish him, then he loses control and I end up punishing him again, but it's teaching him nothing and quite frankly I'm running out of things to ground him from or take away! But every visit that's all he tells me. And I asked him what I should do when I send him to his room for time out and he's kicking the walls and screaming and yelling. He told him I should teach him how to fix any holes in the walls or anything he breaks. That's fine, but I want to teach him not to do those things in the first place and he probably would actually enjoy fixing these things and having the one on one time with me while we do it (but he hasn't broken anything yet). He has seen my son a few times by himself, the first couple of visits he used sand play therapy and modeling clay, but I don't really know what for or anything, but before every visit he asks me how things are going in front of my son so not wanting my son to think I think he's a bad kid (I don't) I always temper the bad with the good and don't actually tell him how stressful things are with him at home. And on the most recent visit I told him that DS has gone back to telling me "I hate you" every time he gets frustrated or angry with me despite punishment for it (he had told me to punish him for saying it) and apparently they discussed that at length during the visit according to DS and now DS hates him and doesn't want to go back so I have to endure a tantrum during the entire 30 minute drive. I guess my question is, do we need a new psychologist or am I just not giving this one time to help us? Are there effective parenting strategies for children with ODD? Because nothing I do is working. I have ordered the book "The Explosive Child", does anyone have a review of that? I know that my son is capable of good behavior and it used to just be at home where he had problems, but now he's starting to have trouble getting along with kids at school, too, partly because he's very competitive, but also because he gets mad over every little thing.