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<blockquote data-quote="slsh" data-source="post: 687128" data-attributes="member: 8"><p>Hi again Mary - knew I would forget something....</p><p></p><p>Your concern that Residential Treatment Center (RTC) will be like a prison, with punishment being the main motivator rather than rewards.... That was not our experience.</p><p></p><p>The #1 priority is always going to be safety - for your son, for the other kids, and for staff. </p><p></p><p>There will be a therapeutic treatment plan, with goals and strategies to help your son achieve those goals. There will be an IEP in school. School may be on site at the Residential Treatment Center (RTC), or may be in the community. We've seen both.</p><p></p><p>Every program my son was in, here at home or in RTCs, was very focused on positive reinforcement. Yes, there are consequences for breaking rules or misbehavior, but... you're talking about a facility for kids with issues so there seemed to me to be a bit more leeway in terms of ... I don't want to say tolerance for misbehavior, but certainly an understanding that the kids weren't just being "naughty". I hope that makes sense. You also have the added benefit in an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) of staff who have training on how to manage behaviors and who have the luxury of going home and getting a break, rather than being in the line of fire 24/7 like us parents are.</p><p></p><p>My kid seemed to not get the connection between action and consequence, but it turned out he just really didn't care. A negative reinforcement (loss of privilege) was just as rewarding to him as a reward, but the negative reinforcement had the added bonus of he got to do what he wanted to do in the first place. Losing a privilege wasn't much of a deterrent to him, so we really had to get creative with Residential Treatment Center (RTC) staff.</p><p></p><p>In addition to the facilities my son was in, I probably toured another half dozen. Some were very institutional - cinder block, dorm rooms, common area. Some were more homey, with cottages on the grounds of the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) for the kids to live in and then main buildings for school or meals. Some were spotless. Some were less so. Some had staff actively engaged with the kids during my visit, others had staff sitting off to the side. It varies. I think the most consistent quality I saw in every Residential Treatment Center (RTC) was supervision, 24/7. I would caution you against leaping to a judgement about an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) based on appearance only. Again, it's not home and it's simply just not going to feel like one, not ever. The really important part is the folks who work in the Residential Treatment Center (RTC). My son occasionally visits his first Residential Treatment Center (RTC), and there are still some of the same staff there. Those folks took a lot of abuse from my kid, a whole lot. The person he has become today has a whole lot to do with their hard work 15 years ago. </p><p></p><p>I also wanted to say that it was our experience when my son was 9 that he was *not* housed with or schooled with teens. That was a huge concern of mine at the time. I figured we had enough problems going on - we didn't need him learning new behaviors from older peers. I think that's a pretty well recognized issue in RTCs.</p><p></p><p>He was generally in an age appropriate group of peers, though in his final (and best) Residential Treatment Center (RTC) they actually did move him to a unit that was geared more towards kiddos with developmental disabilities. I supported that move because while he's incredibly bright, his behaviors were so extreme and his level of functioning was so low that he needed at least the same level of intervention/supervision as the kids with developmental disabilities, if not more.</p><p></p><p>The goal of Residential Treatment Center (RTC) is to get the kid to a point where he can function safely in his home community. That means working on the behaviors, teaching coping strategies, lots of structure initially with gradual relaxation as he makes progress. Yes, there has to be a consequence for negative behavior, but that really was not the primary focus of the programs.</p><p></p><p>Copa really hit the nail on the head with her comments about guilt. I think they must secretly hand new moms a sack of guilt with every newborn, challenging or not. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /> You did *not* cause this. You are *not* a bad parent. This is *not* your fault. It is what it is - and this could turn out to be an excellent opportunity for your son.</p><p></p><p>Hope you're hanging in there, hon.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="slsh, post: 687128, member: 8"] Hi again Mary - knew I would forget something.... Your concern that Residential Treatment Center (RTC) will be like a prison, with punishment being the main motivator rather than rewards.... That was not our experience. The #1 priority is always going to be safety - for your son, for the other kids, and for staff. There will be a therapeutic treatment plan, with goals and strategies to help your son achieve those goals. There will be an IEP in school. School may be on site at the Residential Treatment Center (RTC), or may be in the community. We've seen both. Every program my son was in, here at home or in RTCs, was very focused on positive reinforcement. Yes, there are consequences for breaking rules or misbehavior, but... you're talking about a facility for kids with issues so there seemed to me to be a bit more leeway in terms of ... I don't want to say tolerance for misbehavior, but certainly an understanding that the kids weren't just being "naughty". I hope that makes sense. You also have the added benefit in an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) of staff who have training on how to manage behaviors and who have the luxury of going home and getting a break, rather than being in the line of fire 24/7 like us parents are. My kid seemed to not get the connection between action and consequence, but it turned out he just really didn't care. A negative reinforcement (loss of privilege) was just as rewarding to him as a reward, but the negative reinforcement had the added bonus of he got to do what he wanted to do in the first place. Losing a privilege wasn't much of a deterrent to him, so we really had to get creative with Residential Treatment Center (RTC) staff. In addition to the facilities my son was in, I probably toured another half dozen. Some were very institutional - cinder block, dorm rooms, common area. Some were more homey, with cottages on the grounds of the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) for the kids to live in and then main buildings for school or meals. Some were spotless. Some were less so. Some had staff actively engaged with the kids during my visit, others had staff sitting off to the side. It varies. I think the most consistent quality I saw in every Residential Treatment Center (RTC) was supervision, 24/7. I would caution you against leaping to a judgement about an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) based on appearance only. Again, it's not home and it's simply just not going to feel like one, not ever. The really important part is the folks who work in the Residential Treatment Center (RTC). My son occasionally visits his first Residential Treatment Center (RTC), and there are still some of the same staff there. Those folks took a lot of abuse from my kid, a whole lot. The person he has become today has a whole lot to do with their hard work 15 years ago. I also wanted to say that it was our experience when my son was 9 that he was *not* housed with or schooled with teens. That was a huge concern of mine at the time. I figured we had enough problems going on - we didn't need him learning new behaviors from older peers. I think that's a pretty well recognized issue in RTCs. He was generally in an age appropriate group of peers, though in his final (and best) Residential Treatment Center (RTC) they actually did move him to a unit that was geared more towards kiddos with developmental disabilities. I supported that move because while he's incredibly bright, his behaviors were so extreme and his level of functioning was so low that he needed at least the same level of intervention/supervision as the kids with developmental disabilities, if not more. The goal of Residential Treatment Center (RTC) is to get the kid to a point where he can function safely in his home community. That means working on the behaviors, teaching coping strategies, lots of structure initially with gradual relaxation as he makes progress. Yes, there has to be a consequence for negative behavior, but that really was not the primary focus of the programs. Copa really hit the nail on the head with her comments about guilt. I think they must secretly hand new moms a sack of guilt with every newborn, challenging or not. ;) You did *not* cause this. You are *not* a bad parent. This is *not* your fault. It is what it is - and this could turn out to be an excellent opportunity for your son. Hope you're hanging in there, hon. [/QUOTE]
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