A
Angela1626
Guest
Hi,
I'm new here and am thankful I have a place to go now when I need some help. I moved in with my fiance, his mother, and her adopted son 2 years ago. Her adopted son, Cameron, was recently diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. A year ago he was diagnosis'd with ADHD as well. My fiance and I also have ADHD, so we understand that aspect of things.
As you can see from my post title, I am truly frustrated. Although I am not Cameron's parent, myself and my fiance are a large part of his parenting in conjunction with his mother. All three of us have tried many different methods to get Cameron the support, discipline, and understanding of his world around himself and us. At times we think that we have breakthroughs, but our hopes are quickly dashed when he behaves defiantly over and over.
Let me give you the most recent example. He has decided that when he leaves the house, he is going to slam the door. This has been and on again, off again behavior. My fiance and I sleep in an apartment off the side of the house, but the door to leave is right at the foot of our stairs. Cameron wakes me up each time he slams the door at 7am. My fiance and I are self employed and our business can have us up very late (sometimes until 4 am if we are working on our websites and planning our next day). I have asked Cameron repeatedly to stop doing this. He has a bad attitude and lies when confronted. I seemed to get some temporary success by taking something he likes for the night, explaining to him why I'm doing it, letting him know we can be friendly again and he'll get the item back when he doesn't slam the door.
He also lies A LOT. Even when he's caught, he will just repeat "No I didn't" over and over, as well as faster and louder with each repeated response. He also has been blowing off his homework and he had a huge science project due, which his mother and my fiance ended up building for him (don't ask me why) because he left it until the last minute. He's in a gifted program so I realize these tasks are difficult, but he expects to get out anything he sabotages from help from his mother (and many times she gives in out of exhaustion or because she feels bad for him). He ended up getting a grade of 64 on the project (it was an excellent project by the way) because he didn't turn in project steps required before this was due.
What can we do to get him to stop behaving like this? These behaviors occur daily (the list is very long). I'm infuriated with him. I wake up shaking in anger after he slams the door and I've considered returning some of his most loved video games in order to get him to understand. I've tried rewarding him by playing video games with him (his favorite thing), by talking to him about his interests and friends, and also by listening to him when he brings up Aspergers so we can connect and also so he can see tha when he's behaving in a cooperative, considerate way, there is a reward. He doesn't seem to have any regard for this when he's interested in defying people. I just don't GET IT.
Thanks for reading and I appreciate any help you can give.
I'm new here and am thankful I have a place to go now when I need some help. I moved in with my fiance, his mother, and her adopted son 2 years ago. Her adopted son, Cameron, was recently diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. A year ago he was diagnosis'd with ADHD as well. My fiance and I also have ADHD, so we understand that aspect of things.
As you can see from my post title, I am truly frustrated. Although I am not Cameron's parent, myself and my fiance are a large part of his parenting in conjunction with his mother. All three of us have tried many different methods to get Cameron the support, discipline, and understanding of his world around himself and us. At times we think that we have breakthroughs, but our hopes are quickly dashed when he behaves defiantly over and over.
Let me give you the most recent example. He has decided that when he leaves the house, he is going to slam the door. This has been and on again, off again behavior. My fiance and I sleep in an apartment off the side of the house, but the door to leave is right at the foot of our stairs. Cameron wakes me up each time he slams the door at 7am. My fiance and I are self employed and our business can have us up very late (sometimes until 4 am if we are working on our websites and planning our next day). I have asked Cameron repeatedly to stop doing this. He has a bad attitude and lies when confronted. I seemed to get some temporary success by taking something he likes for the night, explaining to him why I'm doing it, letting him know we can be friendly again and he'll get the item back when he doesn't slam the door.
He also lies A LOT. Even when he's caught, he will just repeat "No I didn't" over and over, as well as faster and louder with each repeated response. He also has been blowing off his homework and he had a huge science project due, which his mother and my fiance ended up building for him (don't ask me why) because he left it until the last minute. He's in a gifted program so I realize these tasks are difficult, but he expects to get out anything he sabotages from help from his mother (and many times she gives in out of exhaustion or because she feels bad for him). He ended up getting a grade of 64 on the project (it was an excellent project by the way) because he didn't turn in project steps required before this was due.
What can we do to get him to stop behaving like this? These behaviors occur daily (the list is very long). I'm infuriated with him. I wake up shaking in anger after he slams the door and I've considered returning some of his most loved video games in order to get him to understand. I've tried rewarding him by playing video games with him (his favorite thing), by talking to him about his interests and friends, and also by listening to him when he brings up Aspergers so we can connect and also so he can see tha when he's behaving in a cooperative, considerate way, there is a reward. He doesn't seem to have any regard for this when he's interested in defying people. I just don't GET IT.
Thanks for reading and I appreciate any help you can give.