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General Parenting
New here and could use some advice...please
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<blockquote data-quote="DramaQueenLucy" data-source="post: 171911" data-attributes="member: 5541"><p>I was referred here by a friend. I have 2 boys that I love very much..but these kiddos don't like each other at all. DS16, has mentally and physically abused DS10 for the last few years...many rounds of therapy and now finally in treatment at a hospital. difficult child, is PTS, ODD & Depressive. He got totally out of control just before he left for treatment...he has been doing well, I think anyways...but I don't know how much of his story is for real and how much of it is him wanting to get out and come home...ugh He has been there for 2 months the whole first month he was a turd to me and everyone else around him...since then he has worked on his issues, physically abusive behaviors, disrespect, mentally abuse, grief, anger & resentment. Well he has had a major turn around in 4 weeks time and I just don't know what to think. Now my DS10 doesn't want difficult child to come home because he had been a victim of his abuse for the last 2 years. </p><p> </p><p>There lies my problem, difficult child wants to come home but DS10 isn't ready for him to come home. DS10's therapist wants to change his adhd medications and put him on something to help him deal with his feelings for difficult child. I can say that DS10 has made a really big improvement in his behavior since Joe has been gone, his melt downs have gone from one every 2 days or so to maybe once a week. DS10 has been more open, loving and more willing to obey. </p><p> </p><p>The plan at this point is for DS10 to get on his new medications, have 2 phone sessions with difficult child, have 2 sessions with difficult child & his therapist & ds10 & his therapist...then 2 in person visits. After that difficult child will be home. </p><p> </p><p>I am feeling caught between a rock and a hard place with the kids...I love them both but difficult child had been abusing ds10 and that can't be ignored. So the question is how can I help ds10 to start healing and help both of the kids to accept each other. I tried to give all the information but if you have a question then just ask me...I am an open book right now...I need help...I am just tired.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DramaQueenLucy, post: 171911, member: 5541"] I was referred here by a friend. I have 2 boys that I love very much..but these kiddos don't like each other at all. DS16, has mentally and physically abused DS10 for the last few years...many rounds of therapy and now finally in treatment at a hospital. difficult child, is PTS, ODD & Depressive. He got totally out of control just before he left for treatment...he has been doing well, I think anyways...but I don't know how much of his story is for real and how much of it is him wanting to get out and come home...ugh He has been there for 2 months the whole first month he was a turd to me and everyone else around him...since then he has worked on his issues, physically abusive behaviors, disrespect, mentally abuse, grief, anger & resentment. Well he has had a major turn around in 4 weeks time and I just don't know what to think. Now my DS10 doesn't want difficult child to come home because he had been a victim of his abuse for the last 2 years. There lies my problem, difficult child wants to come home but DS10 isn't ready for him to come home. DS10's therapist wants to change his adhd medications and put him on something to help him deal with his feelings for difficult child. I can say that DS10 has made a really big improvement in his behavior since Joe has been gone, his melt downs have gone from one every 2 days or so to maybe once a week. DS10 has been more open, loving and more willing to obey. The plan at this point is for DS10 to get on his new medications, have 2 phone sessions with difficult child, have 2 sessions with difficult child & his therapist & ds10 & his therapist...then 2 in person visits. After that difficult child will be home. I am feeling caught between a rock and a hard place with the kids...I love them both but difficult child had been abusing ds10 and that can't be ignored. So the question is how can I help ds10 to start healing and help both of the kids to accept each other. I tried to give all the information but if you have a question then just ask me...I am an open book right now...I need help...I am just tired. [/QUOTE]
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