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<blockquote data-quote="flutterbee" data-source="post: 87166"><p>Hello and welcome to our little corner of the world.</p><p></p><p>My daughter has severe anxiety, chronic depression and was a school refusal princess. She missed something like 82 days last year. She is now attending a home-based internet public charter school. It works wonders for her anxiety and allows for more one on one attention and help, but it's not helping her depression. It was a trade off, I guess. Her anxiety is by far her biggest issue and feeds the depression. But, I think lack of contact with peers plus the shorter days are are fueling the depression now. We are working on it. With her anxiety at constant sky high levels, as they were in the past, we couldn't work on anything. She was in constant fight or flight mode.</p><p></p><p>Your son definitely needs an IEP. You may want to copy and paste this post on our Special Education board for assistance. Sheila and Martie are very knowledgeable and have dealt with school refusal themselves. There are a lot of ways to work with this. Some things my difficult child's (Gift from God) therapist suggested as possibilities for the IEP include shortened school days, only going to school 3 days a week, having a resource room or another place to go to when the anxiety was becoming overwhelming. </p><p></p><p>Homework was another cause for meltdown. We had it written into the IEP, "schoolwork during school hours only". IOW, no homework. She was stressed morning and night about going to school...she needed time away from it. It helped tremendously. There are also other alternatives such as homebound (where the SD (school district) provides the education in your home setting) and therapeutic day school. </p><p></p><p>I agree with the others that having someone from the school come to your house and force him to go is not going to help the issue. I was offered that assistance, also. in my opinion, it's only going to fuel it. It would be different if it was just a behavioral issue, but it's not. It's an emotional and mental health issue. Having someone from the school come and drag him in is just going to reinforce his fears, in my opinion. They also used the scare tactics with me about court and told me it was my responsibility to get her to school. However they were doing nothing to support her while she was there (this was before the IEP was written - when I was fighting to get one). When I threatened an attorney and mentioned FAPE (free appropriate public education), they changed their tune.</p><p></p><p>The school definitely needs to be addressing the bullying issue. A few years ago a 15 year old kid threw himself in front of a train in our town because he couldn't take the bullying anymore. Ever since, our SD has been big on anti-bullying and has even received federal grants to support their efforts. Have you or he talked to anyone at the school about the bullying?</p><p></p><p>Hang in there. Try to find some time for yourself even if it's just 5 minutes locked in the bathroom.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="flutterbee, post: 87166"] Hello and welcome to our little corner of the world. My daughter has severe anxiety, chronic depression and was a school refusal princess. She missed something like 82 days last year. She is now attending a home-based internet public charter school. It works wonders for her anxiety and allows for more one on one attention and help, but it's not helping her depression. It was a trade off, I guess. Her anxiety is by far her biggest issue and feeds the depression. But, I think lack of contact with peers plus the shorter days are are fueling the depression now. We are working on it. With her anxiety at constant sky high levels, as they were in the past, we couldn't work on anything. She was in constant fight or flight mode. Your son definitely needs an IEP. You may want to copy and paste this post on our Special Education board for assistance. Sheila and Martie are very knowledgeable and have dealt with school refusal themselves. There are a lot of ways to work with this. Some things my difficult child's (Gift from God) therapist suggested as possibilities for the IEP include shortened school days, only going to school 3 days a week, having a resource room or another place to go to when the anxiety was becoming overwhelming. Homework was another cause for meltdown. We had it written into the IEP, "schoolwork during school hours only". IOW, no homework. She was stressed morning and night about going to school...she needed time away from it. It helped tremendously. There are also other alternatives such as homebound (where the SD (school district) provides the education in your home setting) and therapeutic day school. I agree with the others that having someone from the school come to your house and force him to go is not going to help the issue. I was offered that assistance, also. in my opinion, it's only going to fuel it. It would be different if it was just a behavioral issue, but it's not. It's an emotional and mental health issue. Having someone from the school come and drag him in is just going to reinforce his fears, in my opinion. They also used the scare tactics with me about court and told me it was my responsibility to get her to school. However they were doing nothing to support her while she was there (this was before the IEP was written - when I was fighting to get one). When I threatened an attorney and mentioned FAPE (free appropriate public education), they changed their tune. The school definitely needs to be addressing the bullying issue. A few years ago a 15 year old kid threw himself in front of a train in our town because he couldn't take the bullying anymore. Ever since, our SD has been big on anti-bullying and has even received federal grants to support their efforts. Have you or he talked to anyone at the school about the bullying? Hang in there. Try to find some time for yourself even if it's just 5 minutes locked in the bathroom. [/QUOTE]
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