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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 605592" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hi there and so sorry you had to join us, but welcome.</p><p></p><p>What you are dealing with is classic borderline personality disorder. Although you can learn about it, you can't change her. Only she can go for help, and it takes a tremendous effort to change if you are borderline, which means she has to admit she has it and WANT desperately to change herself. Suicide attempts are standard with borderlines as is cutting and thinking in all black or all white terms...no middle ground. She loves you or she hates you. And it can change on a dime. SHE can change on a dime. Her moods vary minute to minute.</p><p></p><p>I don't think you should ever communicate on Facebook, but I don't think real life conversation would have changed anything. You all need to go on with your lives and let her be. You can't change her. Only one person can influence her as a person and that is HERSELF. Don't waste your time. </p><p></p><p>Concentrate on your two precious sons, your husband, your friends, your hobbies, the things that you love and make a life for yourself...a happy life...in spite of the chaos she causes. Borderlines LIVE in chaos. They can't help it. I have had a diagnosis of borderline traits, but I wanted to change BADLY so I really do understand how she is behaving and what you need to do to cool things off. Read "Walking on Eggshells" for caretakers of borderlines.</p><p></p><p>I wish you luck and try to detach.</p><p></p><p><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Stop-Walking-Eggshells-Borderline-Personality/dp/1572246901" target="_blank">http://www.amazon.com/Stop-Walking-Eggshells-Borderline-Personality/dp/1572246901</a></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 605592, member: 1550"] Hi there and so sorry you had to join us, but welcome. What you are dealing with is classic borderline personality disorder. Although you can learn about it, you can't change her. Only she can go for help, and it takes a tremendous effort to change if you are borderline, which means she has to admit she has it and WANT desperately to change herself. Suicide attempts are standard with borderlines as is cutting and thinking in all black or all white terms...no middle ground. She loves you or she hates you. And it can change on a dime. SHE can change on a dime. Her moods vary minute to minute. I don't think you should ever communicate on Facebook, but I don't think real life conversation would have changed anything. You all need to go on with your lives and let her be. You can't change her. Only one person can influence her as a person and that is HERSELF. Don't waste your time. Concentrate on your two precious sons, your husband, your friends, your hobbies, the things that you love and make a life for yourself...a happy life...in spite of the chaos she causes. Borderlines LIVE in chaos. They can't help it. I have had a diagnosis of borderline traits, but I wanted to change BADLY so I really do understand how she is behaving and what you need to do to cool things off. Read "Walking on Eggshells" for caretakers of borderlines. I wish you luck and try to detach. [URL]http://www.amazon.com/Stop-Walking-Eggshells-Borderline-Personality/dp/1572246901[/URL] [/QUOTE]
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