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General Parenting
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 143245" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>You're currently walking a very fine line between trying to handle your daughter gently, and not undermining your husband. Whatever you do, you need to present a united front. If you have to discuss differences of opinion about discipline, don't do it in her hearing. If you have already done this, it could be part of the reason why she disrespects him.</p><p></p><p>Another big part of the reason is what I have already outlined - a lot of parents discipline using justice, which is seen by some kids as revenge. They view punishments such as grounding, loss of privileges etc as someone in authority flexing muscle and being unfair. This leads to increasing disrespect, etc.</p><p></p><p>You can get quickly caught up in the "good cop, bad cop" scenario, and husband could increasingly resent you as his job becomes more difficult. This could make him even stricter, because he feels he has to compensate for your 'softness'. And so on.</p><p></p><p>Drag him here if you can, show him the PM I sent you and anything else you feel will help him. Try to not criticise him here if you want him to read here - the aim is for you and he to work as an effective team, and if you can follow the guide it should make things easier, not more difficult - for both of you.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 143245, member: 1991"] You're currently walking a very fine line between trying to handle your daughter gently, and not undermining your husband. Whatever you do, you need to present a united front. If you have to discuss differences of opinion about discipline, don't do it in her hearing. If you have already done this, it could be part of the reason why she disrespects him. Another big part of the reason is what I have already outlined - a lot of parents discipline using justice, which is seen by some kids as revenge. They view punishments such as grounding, loss of privileges etc as someone in authority flexing muscle and being unfair. This leads to increasing disrespect, etc. You can get quickly caught up in the "good cop, bad cop" scenario, and husband could increasingly resent you as his job becomes more difficult. This could make him even stricter, because he feels he has to compensate for your 'softness'. And so on. Drag him here if you can, show him the PM I sent you and anything else you feel will help him. Try to not criticise him here if you want him to read here - the aim is for you and he to work as an effective team, and if you can follow the guide it should make things easier, not more difficult - for both of you. Marg [/QUOTE]
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