Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
New here and looking for direction...
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 64380" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>The problem I have with ODD - t he name, I suspect - is that it gets us thinking that the child is being deliberately defiant, that the kid is just a wilful brat.</p><p></p><p>I do not believe this is likely, in the great, vast, majority of cases. OK, further down the track you get some kids whose sole delight seems to be torturing those around him; but not at a young age and not anywhere near as often as we think.</p><p></p><p>The label "Oppositional Defiant Disorder" immediately makes you want to turn round and say, "Quit it! Cut it out! You're only doing this out of sheer stubbornness!"</p><p></p><p>And this is absolutely the worst thing you can do, if the problem is NOT wilfulness but something more complex and scary for the child. A lot of the time, when you can really get into their heads, there are good reasons for what they do. Not justification, but reasons why it happens. And until you can sort out the underlying reasons, it is going to keep happening. Sometimes part of the underlying reason is anxiety, fear and a level of determination to try to control what seems to the child to be a chaotic environment. If you can calm the child, they feel less need to control what's around them. If you can show the child that things aren't so chaotic after all, that can also help. If you give t he child control in areas which really are not an issue for you, this too can help. It all depends on what the underlying issues are.</p><p></p><p>But to whoever has given this condition this particular name - I think the name is causing a lot more confusion, anger and grief than it should. As well as a vast amount of misunderstanding.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 64380, member: 1991"] The problem I have with ODD - t he name, I suspect - is that it gets us thinking that the child is being deliberately defiant, that the kid is just a wilful brat. I do not believe this is likely, in the great, vast, majority of cases. OK, further down the track you get some kids whose sole delight seems to be torturing those around him; but not at a young age and not anywhere near as often as we think. The label "Oppositional Defiant Disorder" immediately makes you want to turn round and say, "Quit it! Cut it out! You're only doing this out of sheer stubbornness!" And this is absolutely the worst thing you can do, if the problem is NOT wilfulness but something more complex and scary for the child. A lot of the time, when you can really get into their heads, there are good reasons for what they do. Not justification, but reasons why it happens. And until you can sort out the underlying reasons, it is going to keep happening. Sometimes part of the underlying reason is anxiety, fear and a level of determination to try to control what seems to the child to be a chaotic environment. If you can calm the child, they feel less need to control what's around them. If you can show the child that things aren't so chaotic after all, that can also help. If you give t he child control in areas which really are not an issue for you, this too can help. It all depends on what the underlying issues are. But to whoever has given this condition this particular name - I think the name is causing a lot more confusion, anger and grief than it should. As well as a vast amount of misunderstanding. Marg [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
New here and looking for direction...
Top