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Substance Abuse
New Here and needing something..not sure what
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 398409"><p>I totally understand the pain around feeling like your son hates you and will that last forever. I felt similarly about my son and sometimes still do. Our relationship is not good and it is very painful. I would recommend therapy for you... I know for me it has been an immense help to get therapy to help me let go and also to help me figure out how to handle things and to let go. One of the reason my son "hates" me is I was the one who made the rules and followed through and he feels like I am really controlling. Now that he is in rehab we are making some progress in our relationship... he has told us that a lot of his resentment is due to the fact that as a younger teen we needed to know parents would be around when he was hanging out with friends etc. He was stuck because he couldn't go to parties and such because he knew parents wouldn't be home and if I called it would ruin it... well yeah that is kind of the point. Anyway there are sometimes signs that he does love me.... definitely signs he depends on me and you have to take those when they come. I got to the point (with the help of therapy) where I realized it doesn't matter if he hates me, I still love him and want him to succeed and be safe. I can live with him hating me if he is happy and successful in life..... and the reality is if he gets to that point he probably won't hate me anymore. Hang in there and know that you are not alone.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 398409"] I totally understand the pain around feeling like your son hates you and will that last forever. I felt similarly about my son and sometimes still do. Our relationship is not good and it is very painful. I would recommend therapy for you... I know for me it has been an immense help to get therapy to help me let go and also to help me figure out how to handle things and to let go. One of the reason my son "hates" me is I was the one who made the rules and followed through and he feels like I am really controlling. Now that he is in rehab we are making some progress in our relationship... he has told us that a lot of his resentment is due to the fact that as a younger teen we needed to know parents would be around when he was hanging out with friends etc. He was stuck because he couldn't go to parties and such because he knew parents wouldn't be home and if I called it would ruin it... well yeah that is kind of the point. Anyway there are sometimes signs that he does love me.... definitely signs he depends on me and you have to take those when they come. I got to the point (with the help of therapy) where I realized it doesn't matter if he hates me, I still love him and want him to succeed and be safe. I can live with him hating me if he is happy and successful in life..... and the reality is if he gets to that point he probably won't hate me anymore. Hang in there and know that you are not alone. [/QUOTE]
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