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New here, anxious about starting school
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<blockquote data-quote="hipperq" data-source="post: 550176" data-attributes="member: 15192"><p>Thanks for your responses. It really helps to know I'm not the only one dealing with this kind of thing. </p><p></p><p>Having ADHD myself I can see that schedules and lists are very helpful. I also really like written schedules because then the kids are arguing with the paper and not with me. At least with my very short attention span I can deal with the constant interruptions; it's just tough to get back on task. I have figured out how to break household tasks down into 5-minute chunks to squeeze in when i have time. </p><p></p><p>Setting out clothes the night before makes a lot of sense. I've done it occasionally, but, frankly, in the evening I'm tired, and bedtime with 3 uncooperative kids (my son is easy then) is a struggle; I can't rely on any of them to, say, brush their teeth, without me actually watching the entire process. </p><p></p><p>I've always thought I should get the breakfast and school lunches done the night before, but have not gotten there yet. At least my kids are fairly predictable in what they are willing to eat for breakfast, so I can reduce some stress there. </p><p></p><p>I read the Explosive Child maybe 10 years ago and did find it helpful, particularly in not stressing as much over what other people think of my parenting, my kids and my life, and in deciding which battles are worth fighting. I've been thinking I need to take another look at it, and maybe at Raising Your Spirited Child, which I remember really liking. </p><p></p><p>Ironically, part of my problem is that my younger two, especially the youngest, are easier than their siblings were at this age, so I don't have to cut everything down to only the most essential items, and I get a bit lost at what to do now that things are not quite so bad. </p><p></p><p>But, at the same time, daughter 2's ODD is becoming much more pronounced, and she's starting 3rd grade and struggling with writing and distractions, but not sever enough to warrant a full IEP, which is tough to deal with. I know that she would greatly benefit from a very consistent structure, but I have a hard time creating one that works for us. </p><p></p><p>then there's daughter 1 who's anxiety is acting up. plus we found out last night she has pneumonia! at least she probably won't miss the first day of school. She sat by me the other night in full-blown panic attack mode and wanted me to just make it all go away, and there was really nothing I could do but be there for her. (which, of course, set off my own anxiety...) </p><p></p><p>DDD said my older ones probably don't want more structure, but my autistic son thrives on it. We've finally got the non-college track lack of homework for him, as well, which helps immensely. He loves structure, and he always wants to know what's for dinner when he gets home from school (which drives me crazy as there is not a single thing I can make for dinner that he will eat). </p><p></p><p>I need to keep reminding myself that my kids are not going to stay the same. What I am dealing with now is not permanent. Like JJJ's kids they will eventually be getting themselves ready on their own. </p><p></p><p>Also I need to see the good things about my life right now. We do have fun times as well as craziness and stress. And in addition, my youngest starts kindergarten this year, on my birthday, no less, which should give me a chunk of "me time" in the middle of the day.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hipperq, post: 550176, member: 15192"] Thanks for your responses. It really helps to know I'm not the only one dealing with this kind of thing. Having ADHD myself I can see that schedules and lists are very helpful. I also really like written schedules because then the kids are arguing with the paper and not with me. At least with my very short attention span I can deal with the constant interruptions; it's just tough to get back on task. I have figured out how to break household tasks down into 5-minute chunks to squeeze in when i have time. Setting out clothes the night before makes a lot of sense. I've done it occasionally, but, frankly, in the evening I'm tired, and bedtime with 3 uncooperative kids (my son is easy then) is a struggle; I can't rely on any of them to, say, brush their teeth, without me actually watching the entire process. I've always thought I should get the breakfast and school lunches done the night before, but have not gotten there yet. At least my kids are fairly predictable in what they are willing to eat for breakfast, so I can reduce some stress there. I read the Explosive Child maybe 10 years ago and did find it helpful, particularly in not stressing as much over what other people think of my parenting, my kids and my life, and in deciding which battles are worth fighting. I've been thinking I need to take another look at it, and maybe at Raising Your Spirited Child, which I remember really liking. Ironically, part of my problem is that my younger two, especially the youngest, are easier than their siblings were at this age, so I don't have to cut everything down to only the most essential items, and I get a bit lost at what to do now that things are not quite so bad. But, at the same time, daughter 2's ODD is becoming much more pronounced, and she's starting 3rd grade and struggling with writing and distractions, but not sever enough to warrant a full IEP, which is tough to deal with. I know that she would greatly benefit from a very consistent structure, but I have a hard time creating one that works for us. then there's daughter 1 who's anxiety is acting up. plus we found out last night she has pneumonia! at least she probably won't miss the first day of school. She sat by me the other night in full-blown panic attack mode and wanted me to just make it all go away, and there was really nothing I could do but be there for her. (which, of course, set off my own anxiety...) DDD said my older ones probably don't want more structure, but my autistic son thrives on it. We've finally got the non-college track lack of homework for him, as well, which helps immensely. He loves structure, and he always wants to know what's for dinner when he gets home from school (which drives me crazy as there is not a single thing I can make for dinner that he will eat). I need to keep reminding myself that my kids are not going to stay the same. What I am dealing with now is not permanent. Like JJJ's kids they will eventually be getting themselves ready on their own. Also I need to see the good things about my life right now. We do have fun times as well as craziness and stress. And in addition, my youngest starts kindergarten this year, on my birthday, no less, which should give me a chunk of "me time" in the middle of the day. [/QUOTE]
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