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New here: asked my difficult child to leave for the last time
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<blockquote data-quote="goldenguru" data-source="post: 207260" data-attributes="member: 1545"><p>"Does anyone have any suggestions?"</p><p></p><p>Hi Missy - </p><p>As I said earlier, I would begin a dialog with-hubby about what you will do in the event he falls flat on his face.</p><p></p><p>If, for example he shows up on your doorstep in the middle of the night and it is 20 degrees outside. By 'having a plan' you are more likely to act intentionally and less likely to react and make a decision you regret.</p><p></p><p>Ask yourselves things like: will we buy him groceries, help with- rent, buy him gas cards, etc. Would we ever let him move back home? If so, under what conditions? </p><p></p><p>When our daughter was 17, she left home twice. Packed a bag and walked out the door because she just didn't want to live by the rules. We told her we would keep her on our insurance and that she was welcome back home when and if she would agree to abide by our rules (which included random drug screens by the way). We also told her that we had a 3 strike and your out policy. That is, if she left a third time - she was out for good. We are not a hotel and do not have a revolving door policy. She came home, tired, hungry, lonely and broke. She also came home ready to abide by our minimal rules. It really was a turning point in her life.</p><p></p><p>Your son moving out can provide him with many reality life lessons that may be really difficult but really beneficial. Kids are often very resourceful. He may surprise you. </p><p></p><p>In the meantime, pull a plan together so that you are ready to confront whatever curve ball he throws. Continue to love him, encourage him and allow him the space he thinks he needs to grow up.</p><p></p><p>Hugs.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="goldenguru, post: 207260, member: 1545"] "Does anyone have any suggestions?" Hi Missy - As I said earlier, I would begin a dialog with-hubby about what you will do in the event he falls flat on his face. If, for example he shows up on your doorstep in the middle of the night and it is 20 degrees outside. By 'having a plan' you are more likely to act intentionally and less likely to react and make a decision you regret. Ask yourselves things like: will we buy him groceries, help with- rent, buy him gas cards, etc. Would we ever let him move back home? If so, under what conditions? When our daughter was 17, she left home twice. Packed a bag and walked out the door because she just didn't want to live by the rules. We told her we would keep her on our insurance and that she was welcome back home when and if she would agree to abide by our rules (which included random drug screens by the way). We also told her that we had a 3 strike and your out policy. That is, if she left a third time - she was out for good. We are not a hotel and do not have a revolving door policy. She came home, tired, hungry, lonely and broke. She also came home ready to abide by our minimal rules. It really was a turning point in her life. Your son moving out can provide him with many reality life lessons that may be really difficult but really beneficial. Kids are often very resourceful. He may surprise you. In the meantime, pull a plan together so that you are ready to confront whatever curve ball he throws. Continue to love him, encourage him and allow him the space he thinks he needs to grow up. Hugs. [/QUOTE]
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