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New Here, at wits end, please help!
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<blockquote data-quote="confuzzled" data-source="post: 460789" data-attributes="member: 8831"><p>here is my oversimplified, take it or leave it .02 (the important stuff was covered above)</p><p></p><p>in my humble opinion, they are desperately craving structure and a literal schedule of the day---it seems to me both kids have considerable difficulty with transitions.</p><p></p><p>easier said than done, i know.</p><p></p><p>but for example--the arguments over bathing/dressing--make a chart, actually step by step (even if it sounds ridiculous, like put socks on before shoes--write it down, in correct order) and explain to daughter that "now that she's older, wink wink, this is HER routine and she needs to do each step every day". I'd even put specific TIMES. like,</p><p>7am: wake up</p><p>7:05 bathroom</p><p>7:08 take pj's off/put in hamper</p><p>7:10 (dressing/hair/whatever routine, step by step)</p><p>7:30 come downstairs for breakfast. </p><p></p><p>or whatever you do.</p><p></p><p>and instead of arguing, just point to the list and ask what she needs to do next. then praise the heck out of her when she DOES IT...even if it isnt perfect. </p><p></p><p>and do similar style firm routines/steps where you can, in writing, for whatever you can (caution: if they are VERY literal, be careful that you arent dropping everything for dinner at 5:07 pm every single day!) the in writing part will take the arguing over it part away---some kids need the visual to hammer the point home, and they need the specifics...it can be overwhelming and way too generalized to just say "get ready"...to them, they "ARE READY"--unbrushed hair and all.</p><p></p><p>again, WAY oversimplified, but WAY <em>under</em>estimated. the power of routines is that it teaches kids what to expect next, and for those who need that concreteness it reduces a ton of frustration and friction.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="confuzzled, post: 460789, member: 8831"] here is my oversimplified, take it or leave it .02 (the important stuff was covered above) in my humble opinion, they are desperately craving structure and a literal schedule of the day---it seems to me both kids have considerable difficulty with transitions. easier said than done, i know. but for example--the arguments over bathing/dressing--make a chart, actually step by step (even if it sounds ridiculous, like put socks on before shoes--write it down, in correct order) and explain to daughter that "now that she's older, wink wink, this is HER routine and she needs to do each step every day". I'd even put specific TIMES. like, 7am: wake up 7:05 bathroom 7:08 take pj's off/put in hamper 7:10 (dressing/hair/whatever routine, step by step) 7:30 come downstairs for breakfast. or whatever you do. and instead of arguing, just point to the list and ask what she needs to do next. then praise the heck out of her when she DOES IT...even if it isnt perfect. and do similar style firm routines/steps where you can, in writing, for whatever you can (caution: if they are VERY literal, be careful that you arent dropping everything for dinner at 5:07 pm every single day!) the in writing part will take the arguing over it part away---some kids need the visual to hammer the point home, and they need the specifics...it can be overwhelming and way too generalized to just say "get ready"...to them, they "ARE READY"--unbrushed hair and all. again, WAY oversimplified, but WAY [I]under[/I]estimated. the power of routines is that it teaches kids what to expect next, and for those who need that concreteness it reduces a ton of frustration and friction. [/QUOTE]
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