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New Here, at wits end, please help!
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<blockquote data-quote="keista" data-source="post: 460828" data-attributes="member: 11965"><p><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/Graemlins/rofl.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":rofl:" title="rofl :rofl:" data-shortname=":rofl:" /> Oh this is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO me too! I used to cringe at the word! Even now, I know that way too many of my shortcomings are causing problems for my kids. (I have anxiety, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and am a chronically disorganized hoarder) If I could *fix* ME, then the kids wouldn't have as many problems. (they do have their individual issues, but my issues make theirs more difficult to deal with)</p><p></p><p>So, how to handle the routine thing? ASK THEM. Sit down and ask them what they do in the morning, and what order they like to do it in. Write it down, and there's the routine! If they leave out the important stuff, remind them that it's has to be done and fit in there somewhere. Then do the after school time, and evening time, and bed time. If you break it up, it becomes less daunting, and you start realizing that WOW, you actually do have an enforceable routine. For my family the most structured and most evident routine is for eating. Son set it up when he was 6 and we have followed it ever since. It is OK and sometimes necessary to be flexible, but having the identified woutine gives a great starting point when any problems come up.</p><p></p><p>If there are chunks of "free time", the kids can list all the things they do like to do so they can refer to that whenever necessary. It doesn't have to be Monday - playdoh, Tuesday - painting, Wednesday - paper crafts. If THEY want it that structured, then go for it. Otherwise build the flexibility into the 'routine'</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="keista, post: 460828, member: 11965"] :rofl: Oh this is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO me too! I used to cringe at the word! Even now, I know that way too many of my shortcomings are causing problems for my kids. (I have anxiety, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and am a chronically disorganized hoarder) If I could *fix* ME, then the kids wouldn't have as many problems. (they do have their individual issues, but my issues make theirs more difficult to deal with) So, how to handle the routine thing? ASK THEM. Sit down and ask them what they do in the morning, and what order they like to do it in. Write it down, and there's the routine! If they leave out the important stuff, remind them that it's has to be done and fit in there somewhere. Then do the after school time, and evening time, and bed time. If you break it up, it becomes less daunting, and you start realizing that WOW, you actually do have an enforceable routine. For my family the most structured and most evident routine is for eating. Son set it up when he was 6 and we have followed it ever since. It is OK and sometimes necessary to be flexible, but having the identified woutine gives a great starting point when any problems come up. If there are chunks of "free time", the kids can list all the things they do like to do so they can refer to that whenever necessary. It doesn't have to be Monday - playdoh, Tuesday - painting, Wednesday - paper crafts. If THEY want it that structured, then go for it. Otherwise build the flexibility into the 'routine' [/QUOTE]
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