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<blockquote data-quote="Andy" data-source="post: 178246" data-attributes="member: 5096"><p>When my difficult child was admitted to psychiatric hospital, I had to go home and tell husband. That was the hardest thing I ever had to tell him. He was NOT happy but only asked, "Did difficult child want to go into the hospital?" This was really hard for him to handle.</p><p> </p><p>Then I thought about extended family. How can I tell them? I was very fortunate in the support difficult child received from the extended family.</p><p> </p><p>Your child is yours. You get to be the parent meaning you get to make the choices. Your extended family do not know your child as you do. You are still the expert, even amongst your family, as to your child's well being. If the extended family is not accepting or supporting, then they do not need to be involved in the details. Don't talk to them about why you made a certain choice. Just, "I feel this is best for MY child." You do not have to discuss the health of your child with anyone, even your relatives, if they are not supportive of you as the decision maker, then it is none of their business.</p><p> </p><p>The fire starting can be a red flag. It can also be a "stage" but do not treat it as a "stage" because you do not know. You need to figure out why. Does your difficult child like to light matches or does your difficult child like to watch things burn or both? Regardless the reason though, difficult child needs to be discouraged in lighting matches. </p><p> </p><p>Sometimes setting boundaries and allowing difficult child to light matches within the boundaries and only with adult supervision can help:</p><p> </p><p>My difficult child likes to light matches. He put as many candles as he could find in the bathroom. He is allowed to light these candles when he takes a shower or bath and then blow them out before leaving the bathroom. I have not noticed any matches burned in the last few weeks but will stay on guard.</p><p> </p><p>Does your difficult child have a psychiatrist or therapist? That peson can address the fire starting issues.</p><p> </p><p>Welcome on board!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Andy, post: 178246, member: 5096"] When my difficult child was admitted to psychiatric hospital, I had to go home and tell husband. That was the hardest thing I ever had to tell him. He was NOT happy but only asked, "Did difficult child want to go into the hospital?" This was really hard for him to handle. Then I thought about extended family. How can I tell them? I was very fortunate in the support difficult child received from the extended family. Your child is yours. You get to be the parent meaning you get to make the choices. Your extended family do not know your child as you do. You are still the expert, even amongst your family, as to your child's well being. If the extended family is not accepting or supporting, then they do not need to be involved in the details. Don't talk to them about why you made a certain choice. Just, "I feel this is best for MY child." You do not have to discuss the health of your child with anyone, even your relatives, if they are not supportive of you as the decision maker, then it is none of their business. The fire starting can be a red flag. It can also be a "stage" but do not treat it as a "stage" because you do not know. You need to figure out why. Does your difficult child like to light matches or does your difficult child like to watch things burn or both? Regardless the reason though, difficult child needs to be discouraged in lighting matches. Sometimes setting boundaries and allowing difficult child to light matches within the boundaries and only with adult supervision can help: My difficult child likes to light matches. He put as many candles as he could find in the bathroom. He is allowed to light these candles when he takes a shower or bath and then blow them out before leaving the bathroom. I have not noticed any matches burned in the last few weeks but will stay on guard. Does your difficult child have a psychiatrist or therapist? That peson can address the fire starting issues. Welcome on board! [/QUOTE]
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