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New here. Depressed 24 year old refusing help.
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 681203" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Welcome, Canuck.</p><p></p><p>Your story is a hard one, especially in light of your husband's illness.</p><p></p><p>I agree with PASA. Your son has set his terms and there is no opening I see for you right now. I know how hard this is.</p><p></p><p>My son also struggled with depression and anxiety and body image issues. And marijuana use, which he uses to medicate. When he was 23, because he wanted to lay around, not work, not get treatment, etc., I asked him to leave here. After 4 years the main result is that he applied for and got SSI 2 years ago, for mental illness. He will not think about working because he does not want to lose the free pay.</p><p></p><p>The important learning for us is to understand and to accept that their lives are their own now. Any goal, or value or motivation will come from them. I was a very proactive mother and a highly motivated person. It has been very hard for me to accept the situation.</p><p></p><p>I get very sad, still. I get bursts of hope, and they are dashed.</p><p></p><p>Little by little, I am learning to focus upon myself and future. It is harder when my son is in my own town, as he is now. I am very sad. But little, by little, I am learning to hope.</p><p></p><p>The key here is deciding upon your purpose. I am reading a very good book now by somebody named Rabbi Kushner. It is called <u>When Everything you Ever wanted isn't enough. </u></p><p></p><p>He talks about the space where we are as an age-old challenge and begins the book talking about Ecclesiastes in the bible. I am enjoying the book and finding it helpful. He specifically talks about hope.</p><p></p><p>More and more I believe that the key for me is in the spiritual realm and faith. This is a personal challenge for me, because of my history, I have always had trouble with faith and with hope. <em>But I have hope for me.</em> For both of us.</p><p></p><p>So, from this way of looking at things, where we are, you and I, can be seen as a blessing, or at least an opportunity.</p><p></p><p>I am glad you are here with us. Posting, as much as you can, on as many threads as possible, helps. You will find you have a great deal to offer. We are all in this together.</p><p></p><p>COPA</p><p></p><p>PS What happened with your son's job? I just read Serenity's post. Of course harder drugs might be a factor. But depression and pot to me could completely account for your son's condition, in my view.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 681203, member: 18958"] Welcome, Canuck. Your story is a hard one, especially in light of your husband's illness. I agree with PASA. Your son has set his terms and there is no opening I see for you right now. I know how hard this is. My son also struggled with depression and anxiety and body image issues. And marijuana use, which he uses to medicate. When he was 23, because he wanted to lay around, not work, not get treatment, etc., I asked him to leave here. After 4 years the main result is that he applied for and got SSI 2 years ago, for mental illness. He will not think about working because he does not want to lose the free pay. The important learning for us is to understand and to accept that their lives are their own now. Any goal, or value or motivation will come from them. I was a very proactive mother and a highly motivated person. It has been very hard for me to accept the situation. I get very sad, still. I get bursts of hope, and they are dashed. Little by little, I am learning to focus upon myself and future. It is harder when my son is in my own town, as he is now. I am very sad. But little, by little, I am learning to hope. The key here is deciding upon your purpose. I am reading a very good book now by somebody named Rabbi Kushner. It is called [U]When Everything you Ever wanted isn't enough. [/U] He talks about the space where we are as an age-old challenge and begins the book talking about Ecclesiastes in the bible. I am enjoying the book and finding it helpful. He specifically talks about hope. More and more I believe that the key for me is in the spiritual realm and faith. This is a personal challenge for me, because of my history, I have always had trouble with faith and with hope. [I]But I have hope for me.[/I] For both of us. So, from this way of looking at things, where we are, you and I, can be seen as a blessing, or at least an opportunity. I am glad you are here with us. Posting, as much as you can, on as many threads as possible, helps. You will find you have a great deal to offer. We are all in this together. COPA PS What happened with your son's job? I just read Serenity's post. Of course harder drugs might be a factor. But depression and pot to me could completely account for your son's condition, in my view. [/QUOTE]
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