Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
new here, desperate for help
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Christy" data-source="post: 166076" data-attributes="member: 225"><p>Welcome to the board! My son is close to your son's age as well. He is extremely difficult and we have had little luck getting him to behave appropraitely most of the time. Medications trials have ranged from fair to disasterous and school and social situations are absolute nightmares.</p><p></p><p>I found that I was administering consequences way to often and battling constantly I had become the enforcer or prison warden and it was no fun being a mom. It took the good advice of others on this forum and reading The Explosive Child to realize that so many of my battles weren't winnable and so many of the retroactive conqequences did nothing to alter his behavior the next time we were in the same situation. </p><p></p><p>An example:</p><p></p><p>My son takes tae kwon do. It is the only extracuricular activity in which he has had any success. He had been doing pretty well but he's now been doing it for over a year and I guess it is losing its appeal. He has been acting very obnoxious and silly in class. The instructor ignores a lot of his behaviors and this bothers me as well. But since the instructor is responsible for his behavior during class, I cannot do anything about it. I have tried offering my son incentives (ice cream, fastfood, later bedtime, etc.) if he behaves during class. He doesn't behave and does not earn it then he gets angry with me as if I have taken something away from him. So I tried ultimatiums like, if you don't do well in class tonight, you are going straight to bed, no desert, no playtime. He does poorly in class and now he is furious with me for punishing him. Lots of yelling (from both of us). Once again we are at odds. So finally I relaize, I have no way to control of his behavior during class and since I am not ready to quit it altogether, I leave the discipline to the instructor. If his behavior is too outrageous then I can't bare to watch, I go read a book in the car. There is no arguing, no meltdowns, and it is possible for us to have a nice evening. Am I frustrated with his behavior? Yes. But I don't let it ruin the rest of the night. Since it's a fight I can't win, I choose not to fight.</p><p></p><p>I guess it's a matter of picking your battles. I'm glad you found this sight, it is a windfall of great parenting advice from others who are in the same boat.</p><p></p><p>Good Luck</p><p>Christy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Christy, post: 166076, member: 225"] Welcome to the board! My son is close to your son's age as well. He is extremely difficult and we have had little luck getting him to behave appropraitely most of the time. Medications trials have ranged from fair to disasterous and school and social situations are absolute nightmares. I found that I was administering consequences way to often and battling constantly I had become the enforcer or prison warden and it was no fun being a mom. It took the good advice of others on this forum and reading The Explosive Child to realize that so many of my battles weren't winnable and so many of the retroactive conqequences did nothing to alter his behavior the next time we were in the same situation. An example: My son takes tae kwon do. It is the only extracuricular activity in which he has had any success. He had been doing pretty well but he's now been doing it for over a year and I guess it is losing its appeal. He has been acting very obnoxious and silly in class. The instructor ignores a lot of his behaviors and this bothers me as well. But since the instructor is responsible for his behavior during class, I cannot do anything about it. I have tried offering my son incentives (ice cream, fastfood, later bedtime, etc.) if he behaves during class. He doesn't behave and does not earn it then he gets angry with me as if I have taken something away from him. So I tried ultimatiums like, if you don't do well in class tonight, you are going straight to bed, no desert, no playtime. He does poorly in class and now he is furious with me for punishing him. Lots of yelling (from both of us). Once again we are at odds. So finally I relaize, I have no way to control of his behavior during class and since I am not ready to quit it altogether, I leave the discipline to the instructor. If his behavior is too outrageous then I can't bare to watch, I go read a book in the car. There is no arguing, no meltdowns, and it is possible for us to have a nice evening. Am I frustrated with his behavior? Yes. But I don't let it ruin the rest of the night. Since it's a fight I can't win, I choose not to fight. I guess it's a matter of picking your battles. I'm glad you found this sight, it is a windfall of great parenting advice from others who are in the same boat. Good Luck Christy [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
new here, desperate for help
Top