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<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 524420" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>So funny, my son (who is not scary smart, in fact has significant delays in some areas but is classic in that he has high skills and lower skills)....was genius at puzzles, still is. When very small someone gave him an really inappropriately large jig saw puzzle so I kept saying no when he wanted to open it then I thought...why am I saying NO?? so I let him and this WILD CHILD, sat for hours and put a 200+ puzzle together at age 3. Them word got out and he got a bunch of them. The pieces never made it into boxes so I put all of the pieces in one of those plastic drawer things....all mixed up. He could take the whole drawer and put together the different puzzles digging thru thousands of pieces. (and lol, I was working at a child dev. center which specialized in all things but primarily autism and no, I did not call it at that time...haha)...</p><p></p><p>There are many kids here on this board who play pretty well, especially when younger, but have some rigid rules like things kind of have to go their way sometimes so they seem to be "bullies" and the rule about hugging everyone ...yeah that was my son too...still is for his aunts and cousins.</p><p></p><p>It is really hard to imagine our children being on the spectrum when what we have seen is that severe end of the spectrum. But really, the nice thing about it being that IF it is....there is a ton of support and very different and effective methods for helping the kids. I really pushed the diagnosis away and went for a second opinion when I got it. Didn't want it to be so. But it is the best thing that happened because teaching and accommodations are so much better for his style of thinking and learning and THAT is the important thing...that the world around them matches how they process information, how they learn, etc. There are TONS of kids on the spectrum who get nothing more than some check in time or a little support at times and some accommodations like ability to take a break if overloaded...and no one would know that they are on the spectrum in school at all.</p><p></p><p>My son can be very cuddly too....but mostly on his terms.</p><p></p><p>Please dont beat yourself up. First for ANY child there is no one way to parent, but for these kids who are wired differently whether adhd, odd, Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), bi-polar, whatever....there are definitely no rule books and why would you keep doing something that is ineffective?</p><p></p><p>Those books I listed DO give you another perspective that can help really lower the overall stress and give you steps to take. For me it helped take some of the guilt away for not doing it the way others thought I should (the strict punish every single thing...duh of course I tried that first! made things much worse).</p><p></p><p>This is simply hard. yes, consistency is important but I dare anyone to parent your child knowing what you know in a traditional manner, I bet you are just a great mom who has a very challenging kid. </p><p></p><p>I hope you can find a good neuropsychologist and or child development clinic to help sort through this better. Check out those books too! You have a lot on your plate with your hubby's issues as well and I would say dont stress over trying to find THE trigger. Likely it is a complex thing and you will need to tick away at issues from the perspective of the diagnoses you receive. </p><p></p><p>We are here for you, and we have all felt guilt and that wishing we could make it better or return to easier times feeling. It is honestly a waste though, for us and for them. You are here searching for answers, THAT says a lot. You are not a mom who gives up at all!!! He is a great kid who is wired differently and you are working on finding the issue or issues that can be worked on. </p><p></p><p>Keep checking in, we will be happy to listen and chat!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 524420, member: 12886"] So funny, my son (who is not scary smart, in fact has significant delays in some areas but is classic in that he has high skills and lower skills)....was genius at puzzles, still is. When very small someone gave him an really inappropriately large jig saw puzzle so I kept saying no when he wanted to open it then I thought...why am I saying NO?? so I let him and this WILD CHILD, sat for hours and put a 200+ puzzle together at age 3. Them word got out and he got a bunch of them. The pieces never made it into boxes so I put all of the pieces in one of those plastic drawer things....all mixed up. He could take the whole drawer and put together the different puzzles digging thru thousands of pieces. (and lol, I was working at a child dev. center which specialized in all things but primarily autism and no, I did not call it at that time...haha)... There are many kids here on this board who play pretty well, especially when younger, but have some rigid rules like things kind of have to go their way sometimes so they seem to be "bullies" and the rule about hugging everyone ...yeah that was my son too...still is for his aunts and cousins. It is really hard to imagine our children being on the spectrum when what we have seen is that severe end of the spectrum. But really, the nice thing about it being that IF it is....there is a ton of support and very different and effective methods for helping the kids. I really pushed the diagnosis away and went for a second opinion when I got it. Didn't want it to be so. But it is the best thing that happened because teaching and accommodations are so much better for his style of thinking and learning and THAT is the important thing...that the world around them matches how they process information, how they learn, etc. There are TONS of kids on the spectrum who get nothing more than some check in time or a little support at times and some accommodations like ability to take a break if overloaded...and no one would know that they are on the spectrum in school at all. My son can be very cuddly too....but mostly on his terms. Please dont beat yourself up. First for ANY child there is no one way to parent, but for these kids who are wired differently whether adhd, odd, Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), bi-polar, whatever....there are definitely no rule books and why would you keep doing something that is ineffective? Those books I listed DO give you another perspective that can help really lower the overall stress and give you steps to take. For me it helped take some of the guilt away for not doing it the way others thought I should (the strict punish every single thing...duh of course I tried that first! made things much worse). This is simply hard. yes, consistency is important but I dare anyone to parent your child knowing what you know in a traditional manner, I bet you are just a great mom who has a very challenging kid. I hope you can find a good neuropsychologist and or child development clinic to help sort through this better. Check out those books too! You have a lot on your plate with your hubby's issues as well and I would say dont stress over trying to find THE trigger. Likely it is a complex thing and you will need to tick away at issues from the perspective of the diagnoses you receive. We are here for you, and we have all felt guilt and that wishing we could make it better or return to easier times feeling. It is honestly a waste though, for us and for them. You are here searching for answers, THAT says a lot. You are not a mom who gives up at all!!! He is a great kid who is wired differently and you are working on finding the issue or issues that can be worked on. Keep checking in, we will be happy to listen and chat! [/QUOTE]
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