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New Here - I'm losing my 13-year old to pot
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<blockquote data-quote="Mattsmom277" data-source="post: 355445" data-attributes="member: 4264"><p>Claire, I'm so very sorry to hear of your daughters injuries. I can't imagine what that is like, for her, for you, your family. Great big (((HUGS))) and prayers from this end that she speedily recovers. Thank goodness that all survived at least. </p><p></p><p>I'm also sorry to hear your son is still being, well, this way. I do hear in your post that you seem very concentrated on working where you can make affective parenting choices, namely in your home with your other child and with yourself. I'm glad to hear it. </p><p></p><p>It is such a mentally destructive thing when we end up wondering what is being said to our kids by our ex's. Sadly, many of us here went through it. Ive been round this site for a whopping near to 11 years now. Wowsers! And the list of wonderful members who dealt with that is long, including myself. Again, I clung to the belief my son would grow up and realize he was raised right (by me) and that the other stuff he "heard" was hogwash. He did too. Told me it was like brainwashing for him, and he had to work hard to forgive himself for letting himself believe the lies and to be sucked into acting so hatefully to me, and his sister. I was so saddened to see that part, and worked hard to help him at that point understand he was a kid. He was trusting those who he SHOULD have been able to trust, and he had nothing to forgive in himself. He was a sitting duck for those with agendas that were geared to do just what they did. </p><p></p><p>I'm proud of you for not letting his antics impact you and your household anymore than they did. I really feel you made a great choice, even for your difficult child. He needs to know that in YOUR home, IF he is visiting, it is a chaos and drama free zone, where you behave like family and with dignity and respect. Period. And if he doesn't? There's the door, and he can be welcome to come back anytime he is ready to adhere to the boundaries that make a healthy atmosphere for the family. You did good mom!!! And loving him and setting strict boundaries are not contradictory, even when it hurts US so much to do so. Some kids just take a LONG time to get it. </p><p></p><p>I hope you continue to come see us here, you seem like a good egg <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" />. Please update in a few weeks about your daughters progress. I'll be keeping her in my thoughts, along with your difficult child who I will hope gains insight through maturity. Hang in there!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mattsmom277, post: 355445, member: 4264"] Claire, I'm so very sorry to hear of your daughters injuries. I can't imagine what that is like, for her, for you, your family. Great big (((HUGS))) and prayers from this end that she speedily recovers. Thank goodness that all survived at least. I'm also sorry to hear your son is still being, well, this way. I do hear in your post that you seem very concentrated on working where you can make affective parenting choices, namely in your home with your other child and with yourself. I'm glad to hear it. It is such a mentally destructive thing when we end up wondering what is being said to our kids by our ex's. Sadly, many of us here went through it. Ive been round this site for a whopping near to 11 years now. Wowsers! And the list of wonderful members who dealt with that is long, including myself. Again, I clung to the belief my son would grow up and realize he was raised right (by me) and that the other stuff he "heard" was hogwash. He did too. Told me it was like brainwashing for him, and he had to work hard to forgive himself for letting himself believe the lies and to be sucked into acting so hatefully to me, and his sister. I was so saddened to see that part, and worked hard to help him at that point understand he was a kid. He was trusting those who he SHOULD have been able to trust, and he had nothing to forgive in himself. He was a sitting duck for those with agendas that were geared to do just what they did. I'm proud of you for not letting his antics impact you and your household anymore than they did. I really feel you made a great choice, even for your difficult child. He needs to know that in YOUR home, IF he is visiting, it is a chaos and drama free zone, where you behave like family and with dignity and respect. Period. And if he doesn't? There's the door, and he can be welcome to come back anytime he is ready to adhere to the boundaries that make a healthy atmosphere for the family. You did good mom!!! And loving him and setting strict boundaries are not contradictory, even when it hurts US so much to do so. Some kids just take a LONG time to get it. I hope you continue to come see us here, you seem like a good egg :). Please update in a few weeks about your daughters progress. I'll be keeping her in my thoughts, along with your difficult child who I will hope gains insight through maturity. Hang in there! [/QUOTE]
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