Hello-all- I am so happy to have found this forum! I wonder where my happy-go-lucky, funny, extremely social, caring, sensitive son that I absolutely adored has gone- is he still in there??!! My son is 22 and has recently dropped out of college. He went to a local branch of a college for 2 years and did very well. During that period, he lost alot of weight (which he needed to do) and got himself in shape. He did mention at one point that he was "feeling depressed", so we went to the doctor and decided to try St. John's Wort rather than start on medications immediately. He stopped taking that, as he said he did not like the way it made him feel. After 2 years locally, he went away to the main campus of the college. First semester went well, though he did not like his roommate. Everything went downhill the 2nd semester! He went to the college psychological center, and started medications, which put him in bed for 3 weeks. That semester he ended up taking a "medical leave". Three fairly unsuccessful semesters followed, though he was in treatment with both a psychiatrist and psychologist. Finally, he just had to drop out, as he was not making any progress and was getting worse mentally (plus the fact that we couldn't afford to keep paying for semesters where he would drop courses in the middle of the semester). He has been home since March. We seem to take one step forward and one step back. He is in treatment, but has been on so many different medications that don't seem to work. I have confidence in his psychologist, but we just can't seem to make any breakthroughs!! My son is "pained" by the world and the inequalities and inequities in it. He "berates" me for subscribing to a cable company (doesn't want to support "big business"), working for a "for profit" company, not being a vegetarian, and watching certain stations like qvc ("what do you gain by that?"). He does tell me not to take what he says to me personally, that it is not just me, but "most of the world". He has texted me as to why I didn't recognize that he's been depressed most of his life. (Not only did I not see any signs of this, but neither did my close knit or extended family. He has always been extremely social and well-liked.) He has texted me as to why I let him become so overweight as an adolescent. (Frankly, I tried to help him, but didn't make much progress.) Also, he lost 3 friends in the last few years- 2 to suicide and 1 in an accident. Each time, he claimed he was dealing with the loss, but I can't imagine how you lose 3 friends at that age and be ok. I have suggested to him to get involved in a volunteer program for now- but he has an answer for everything! Habitat for Humanity- "too small". Red Cross- "they will be obsolete soon" He is very independent as far as household chores- makes his own meals, does his own laundry, etc. But I see him becoming more and more isolated because his friends don't "have the same ideals" that he has. He says he would like to live in an underprivileged society or a monastery. Frankly, I am at my wit's end! I hate going home after work (though I do have a wonderful husband)! After dinner, I find myself going into the bedroom pretty early just to avoid my son. On weekends, since my husband works, I make as many plans as possible just to stay out of the house. I see a psychologist once a month- but there really are no answers. I am also going to try going to a NAMI support group (there are currently no Family to Family classes in my area). But I constantly have to remind myself to breathe!!!!!!!!!! Thanks, all, for letting me vent- I can relate to many of the posts I have read here and feel all of your pain!