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new here... long but opinions wanted
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<blockquote data-quote="Sara PA" data-source="post: 105477" data-attributes="member: 1498"><p>On thing you might want to keep in mind: When pressured to provide an explanation for their behavior, kids might not give an honest answer. Not because they lie, but because they don't know the answer. But they are forced to have an answer. Being made to explain assumes that the child <em>can</em> explain why s/he actd like s/he does. It assumes a choice, that the child made a choice to be bad. For many kids for many reasons, there is no explanation they can give because there is no choice being made. A malfunctioning brain can make a person do things s/he doesn't choose or want to do. Often those children display extreme remorse and promise never to act like that again <em>because they are appalled that they did what they did and don't want to act like that.</em> But the next time a stressful situation occurs, the malfunctioning brain takes over and there they go again. </p><p></p><p>I believe that your child is too young to have made the choice to act violently to get a new teacher. I believe someone suggested that explanation and, unable to come up with one herself, she repeated it. </p><p></p><p>The recurring stomachaches and vomitting...do they occur during stressful times? At a regular time during the day?</p><p></p><p>ETA: I went and brushed my teeth; running water makes me think and remember.</p><p></p><p>My brother explained the thing about needing to provide and explanation to me. He, like my son and I, has partial seizures. He use to do strange things when he was a kid, things about which he had no memory. He learned to glean what the problem was from the adults demanding an explanation and then to further glean the explanation that would be acceptable to them. He learned early on that it was better to admit he chose to do something bad than to admit he had no idea what anyone was talking about. He is quite bright and was able to do that time and again from a very young age. My son has the same type of partial seizures and, because we know more about what's going on in our brains than we did when my brother was a child, is able to admit he has little memory and no control over those episodes.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Sara PA, post: 105477, member: 1498"] On thing you might want to keep in mind: When pressured to provide an explanation for their behavior, kids might not give an honest answer. Not because they lie, but because they don't know the answer. But they are forced to have an answer. Being made to explain assumes that the child [i]can[/i] explain why s/he actd like s/he does. It assumes a choice, that the child made a choice to be bad. For many kids for many reasons, there is no explanation they can give because there is no choice being made. A malfunctioning brain can make a person do things s/he doesn't choose or want to do. Often those children display extreme remorse and promise never to act like that again [i]because they are appalled that they did what they did and don't want to act like that.[/i] But the next time a stressful situation occurs, the malfunctioning brain takes over and there they go again. I believe that your child is too young to have made the choice to act violently to get a new teacher. I believe someone suggested that explanation and, unable to come up with one herself, she repeated it. The recurring stomachaches and vomitting...do they occur during stressful times? At a regular time during the day? ETA: I went and brushed my teeth; running water makes me think and remember. My brother explained the thing about needing to provide and explanation to me. He, like my son and I, has partial seizures. He use to do strange things when he was a kid, things about which he had no memory. He learned to glean what the problem was from the adults demanding an explanation and then to further glean the explanation that would be acceptable to them. He learned early on that it was better to admit he chose to do something bad than to admit he had no idea what anyone was talking about. He is quite bright and was able to do that time and again from a very young age. My son has the same type of partial seizures and, because we know more about what's going on in our brains than we did when my brother was a child, is able to admit he has little memory and no control over those episodes. [/QUOTE]
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