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<blockquote data-quote="Bunny" data-source="post: 486947"><p>Welcome to the board. I don't have an answer regarding the drug issues, but I can tell you that I have had my own anxiety over the exact same thing with my younger easy child. I know that easy child is a completly different personality. Much more easy going. Most things seem to roll off his back. But that does not mean that he is not affected by difficult child's tirades and temper tantrums. Has your younger child ever epressed any anxiety or anger about the behavior of your difficult child? Is he afraid of difficult child? Would you be willing to take easy child to see a therapist? My kids are younger than yours (difficult child is 12 and easy child is 7) but over the summer I took easy child to therapy sessions with the therapist that I take difficult child to. It helped for easy child to be able to talk about how difficult child's actions make him feel and we worked really hard of building up easy child's confidence so that when difficult child started to bother him easy child had the tools to be able to tell him to leave him alone and to walk away.</p><p></p><p>The other thing that I wanted to add was that difficult child's problems are just that. HIS problems. For a very long time I blamed myself (and allowed others to blame me), and it took me a long time to realize that it's not me. And one of the ways that I know it's not me is because of easy child. If I really was that bad of a mother easy child would be the child that he is. Don't get me wrong. He's not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but he's no difficult child, so I know that somewhere along the line, I did something right with both of them. For some reason, difficult child's wiring is just different.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Bunny, post: 486947"] Welcome to the board. I don't have an answer regarding the drug issues, but I can tell you that I have had my own anxiety over the exact same thing with my younger easy child. I know that easy child is a completly different personality. Much more easy going. Most things seem to roll off his back. But that does not mean that he is not affected by difficult child's tirades and temper tantrums. Has your younger child ever epressed any anxiety or anger about the behavior of your difficult child? Is he afraid of difficult child? Would you be willing to take easy child to see a therapist? My kids are younger than yours (difficult child is 12 and easy child is 7) but over the summer I took easy child to therapy sessions with the therapist that I take difficult child to. It helped for easy child to be able to talk about how difficult child's actions make him feel and we worked really hard of building up easy child's confidence so that when difficult child started to bother him easy child had the tools to be able to tell him to leave him alone and to walk away. The other thing that I wanted to add was that difficult child's problems are just that. HIS problems. For a very long time I blamed myself (and allowed others to blame me), and it took me a long time to realize that it's not me. And one of the ways that I know it's not me is because of easy child. If I really was that bad of a mother easy child would be the child that he is. Don't get me wrong. He's not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but he's no difficult child, so I know that somewhere along the line, I did something right with both of them. For some reason, difficult child's wiring is just different. [/QUOTE]
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