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<blockquote data-quote="Circetay" data-source="post: 385931"><p>Hi Jo, that's what I try to do on a regular basis. I try to maintain a balance between what works for her, and what works for the rest of us. She always needs to pick things first, or have first say but once in a while I have to let my other daughter choose as well. My difficult child usually gets upset, but I try to explain to her that it's fair and that she will get to pick next etc. There seems to be very little consistency between what and when things bother her. One day it will cause an explosion and the next she is fine. I have yet to learn the real cue. Other than her not getting what she wants when she wants it. I also struggle with husband since we never seem to agree on what things are worth fighting about, and which are ok to let go. I have been trying all kinds of different things to diffuse her fits. Lately she has become violent with her little sister and we can't accept that. We tried to punish her just tonight and during her fit she threw her favourite animal down the stairs. That was followed by anger because she could not have her animal (which we never touched) husband told her that when she was calm she was more than welcome to come and get it. But she didn't seem to understand. Then she starts screaming "i want Mommy" so I stepped in and tried to talk to her, told her I was not going to talk to her while she was screaming and crying and asked her to count to 10 with me. She was incapable of doing so and kept repeating that she could not stop crying. At this point her cries sounded forced. This fit lasted for about 45 minutes. We finally ended up putting her to bed while she continued to fit and cry. It was awful <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /> I just feel so helpless and like I can never seem to do the right thing. I know there is no magic cure but it's so hard. It's exhausting trying to come up with something that might work, and just when I think I have it figured out, it changes again.</p><p></p><p>Sorry for the vent <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /> It really has nothing to do with your initial comment. It's been a tough day.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Circetay, post: 385931"] Hi Jo, that's what I try to do on a regular basis. I try to maintain a balance between what works for her, and what works for the rest of us. She always needs to pick things first, or have first say but once in a while I have to let my other daughter choose as well. My difficult child usually gets upset, but I try to explain to her that it's fair and that she will get to pick next etc. There seems to be very little consistency between what and when things bother her. One day it will cause an explosion and the next she is fine. I have yet to learn the real cue. Other than her not getting what she wants when she wants it. I also struggle with husband since we never seem to agree on what things are worth fighting about, and which are ok to let go. I have been trying all kinds of different things to diffuse her fits. Lately she has become violent with her little sister and we can't accept that. We tried to punish her just tonight and during her fit she threw her favourite animal down the stairs. That was followed by anger because she could not have her animal (which we never touched) husband told her that when she was calm she was more than welcome to come and get it. But she didn't seem to understand. Then she starts screaming "i want Mommy" so I stepped in and tried to talk to her, told her I was not going to talk to her while she was screaming and crying and asked her to count to 10 with me. She was incapable of doing so and kept repeating that she could not stop crying. At this point her cries sounded forced. This fit lasted for about 45 minutes. We finally ended up putting her to bed while she continued to fit and cry. It was awful :( I just feel so helpless and like I can never seem to do the right thing. I know there is no magic cure but it's so hard. It's exhausting trying to come up with something that might work, and just when I think I have it figured out, it changes again. Sorry for the vent :( It really has nothing to do with your initial comment. It's been a tough day. [/QUOTE]
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