New here mom with an ADHD son

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by sureallove, May 19, 2010.

  1. sureallove

    sureallove Guest

    Hi, I'm new to this. I found this site yesterday and was excited to find this because I have felt so alone. To tell you a little about my family. I'm a 29 yr old mom of 5. One of my children has been diagnosed with ADHD. He is 8 yr old. I have tried 5 diffrent kinds of medication, but the medication.s made him out of control, so right now he is not on anything. We are in the middle if our 3rd evaluation with a new psychologist. The psychologist saysmy son is complicated and could take up to 3 yr to find out what is all the matter. The psychologist wants me to look at medication.s after the evaluation is over. He says my son should not have been put on a stimulant as he thinks my son my be bipolar, and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) as well as having ADHD. It is so hard. No one tells you what to do to ensure your child grows up to be a wonderful adult. My so also has a sever learning disability. So he is not doing well at scholl which makes him act out even more. He did better at school on medication.s, but when he came home he lost it. He would have huge rage outbursts, sever depression, anorexia, and insomnia. I'm so scared to go through that again, but at the same time I can't have him fail in life. Just trying to take one day at a time. I have learned that routine is everything for my son, but if we sway at all from the routine then it takes 2 days for him to settle back down. It makes it so hard to even go to do things on the weekend because that is not a regular thing. With 4 other kids in my house you can make a lot routine, but not everything. I just hope everything comes together and that I can secure a good future for all my kids. If anyone has any advice please I am willing to take any I can get.
     
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Welcome to the board.

    Wow. FIVE KIDS AT 29? I think i"d jump off a cliff :tongue:. Not really. I like kids.

    Ok, my first suggestion is to take your little guy to a neuropsychologist. It is unlikely that he only has ODD. He could be on the autism spectrum too (did he have an speech delays? What kind of Learning Disability (LD)'s does he have? Does he have obsessive interests? Can he make friends?) He *could* have bipolar, but that is pretty hard to diagnosis. so young. Is it in the family?

    I'd first go for the neuropsychologist evaluation. You can find them at children's hospitals and university hospitals. in my opinion and the opinion of many on the board, NeuroPsychs do the most intensive testing and get the best results. Yes, it can take time for kids to get diagnosed right. But it's best to start at the top as far as a professional goes. I'm not too thrilled with the way therapists or plain pediatricians diagnose. Hey, if your kid gets worse on stimulants (like mine did) it's pretty certain that it's the wrong medication for him and that he does not have ADHD. My oldest daughter has ADD and she does great on stims and has no "anger" reaction to it or even rebound. I'd look elsewhere.

    Good luck, regardless of what you decide to do.
     
  3. shellyd67

    shellyd67 Active Member

    Hi and welcome ! You sure do have a lot going on with raising 5 kiddos ! I think one of the hardest parts of fighting this battle is finding the right fit ( doctors, therapists, medications, etc) it does take time and I know it can seem like an eternity trying to work everything out. You will definitely find support here. This site has been such a sense of comfort to me at my lowest points. Sometimes just reading other families posts helps with ideas, advice etc. I hope you are able to find the right fit for your son soon. in my humble opinion I would keep in constant contact with his teachers and school. Hopefully he has an empathetic and understanding teacher (we are so lucky that my son has a peach of a teacher) Also, question Dr's, psychs and other families going thru the same thing. I felt my sons pediatrician was very dismissive and just kept writing rx's but FINALLY we found the right medications (fingers crossed) He still struggles socially but one thing at a time. I hope your days are brighter soon ! Please keep me posted ! (((( HUGS))))):D
     
  4. LostMama

    LostMama Guest

    Hi there. I'm also mom to 5 kids (+ one in heaven.) Our oldest child is the one who brought me here. She's our 13 yo niece that we have been raising since she was 2. All the stuff that you mentioned is the same type of stuff that we have been dealing with for years. Only now that she's a teenager, we are dealing with more severe issues...like sex, drug use & cigarettes. Yep, we have a hard time planning family activities, too. My husband and I were ready to just give up but we decided to take a parenting course and see if that would help. And it has. We have learned new ways to deal with her behavior. We have stopped yelling and arguing with her. We came up with a family plan and we are working our plan. Anyhow, the VERY first thing our class taught us was to be sure that you (both parents) are giving your child daily expressions of love. Say 'I love you,' hug them or write a note and tuck it in their lunchbox. Step 2 was to stop arguing/yelling at your child. When we made those 2 things a priority, we already started to feel a change...things were getting better. It's hard work! We are seeing positive effects so I am feeling hopeful for the future. :)
     
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