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New here: need advice on what to do with 18 year old son
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<blockquote data-quote="Giulia" data-source="post: 531399" data-attributes="member: 14306"><p>MWM, I hear your opinion. </p><p></p><p>But in some cases, it won't work. </p><p>Mom didn't cuddle me and make me "a child", and yes, before we could live a decent home life, with the right medical care (it was and it is still not as easy to get it), we walked on eggshells. Yes I had medical care, but no, I was truly unable to live independently and despite all the doing my best, it was not an option to kick me out and let me live my life. </p><p>It was a huge effort for both to get a decent home life together. </p><p>Now, we are preparing my living the nest. But we cannot rely on group home or such, because we lack of them. </p><p>I had an appointment in another hospital yesterday and I can will followed with a specialized doctor in occupational medicine, to help me prepare my going back to university and my setting up in the world of jobs. Of course, my psychiatrist wanted to send me in a shelter work because "26 yo is too late to study at university", but this specialist of occupational medicine says that shelter work is not adapted for my needs. But still, I measure how lucky I am, because not many hospitals have such a ward, or any similar help. </p><p>We lack services for mental health and disabled persons. </p><p></p><p>I think that the main difference is that here in France, we lack of services for people unable to live by themselves. </p><p>You have them and it's great. But if the US have more housing services for disabled people, it does not mean that it's the same in every state, and it does not mean that people can get them like that. </p><p></p><p>Your point of view is a valid concern. </p><p>But it also means that you can get services for it. Unfortunately, your idea can be followed if these kind of services can be provided. Unfortunately, we lack of such services (not because of insurance, as we have Social Security. But because there are not enough services like these, and it's not a question of Social Security). </p><p>In the mean time, we can also do otherwise, it does not mean we baby them. An adult child with health conditions can lie at home without being babied.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Giulia, post: 531399, member: 14306"] MWM, I hear your opinion. But in some cases, it won't work. Mom didn't cuddle me and make me "a child", and yes, before we could live a decent home life, with the right medical care (it was and it is still not as easy to get it), we walked on eggshells. Yes I had medical care, but no, I was truly unable to live independently and despite all the doing my best, it was not an option to kick me out and let me live my life. It was a huge effort for both to get a decent home life together. Now, we are preparing my living the nest. But we cannot rely on group home or such, because we lack of them. I had an appointment in another hospital yesterday and I can will followed with a specialized doctor in occupational medicine, to help me prepare my going back to university and my setting up in the world of jobs. Of course, my psychiatrist wanted to send me in a shelter work because "26 yo is too late to study at university", but this specialist of occupational medicine says that shelter work is not adapted for my needs. But still, I measure how lucky I am, because not many hospitals have such a ward, or any similar help. We lack services for mental health and disabled persons. I think that the main difference is that here in France, we lack of services for people unable to live by themselves. You have them and it's great. But if the US have more housing services for disabled people, it does not mean that it's the same in every state, and it does not mean that people can get them like that. Your point of view is a valid concern. But it also means that you can get services for it. Unfortunately, your idea can be followed if these kind of services can be provided. Unfortunately, we lack of such services (not because of insurance, as we have Social Security. But because there are not enough services like these, and it's not a question of Social Security). In the mean time, we can also do otherwise, it does not mean we baby them. An adult child with health conditions can lie at home without being babied. [/QUOTE]
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