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New here: need advice on what to do with 18 year old son
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<blockquote data-quote="vligrl" data-source="post: 531580" data-attributes="member: 14003"><p>Welcome Amiranda. Your story is ver similar to mine and apparently many others here. My son was sweet, said he loved me all the time, would kiss me good bye at school in front of his friends and loved doing things with me. Then he turned 14, 15...and started smoking pot, getting in trouble at school, missing school, getting suspended and eventually did not graduate do to truancy and just not giving a darn. He got his diploma a little to easily from the school district just by taking three classes in summer school and passing. Easy peasy, no real consequences. All of my talks with counselors, his teachers, monitoring his school work, where he was, who he was with, encouraging, loving...didn't make a bit of difference except wear me out completely. No different in Jr. College either except at least he finished a semester instead of dropping out. In my opinion, low self esteem associated with ADHD led him to make poor decisions and taking up smoking pot. He will be 19 in two weeks and I am waiting until his finals are over and then discussing his saving money to move out. If he wants to go back to college, he'll have to do the work to get it going without me as I refuse to invest any more time and emotion into his future when he won't. These are decisions that you will have to make as well. They just can't get out of their own way and move forward in healthy and productive ways right now and I am tired of having to watch it and worry about it 24/7 while he is out partying with his friends, going to concerts, movies, parties....and I am home losing sleep and tying myself up into knots. I feel for you, I really do because I am where you are too.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="vligrl, post: 531580, member: 14003"] Welcome Amiranda. Your story is ver similar to mine and apparently many others here. My son was sweet, said he loved me all the time, would kiss me good bye at school in front of his friends and loved doing things with me. Then he turned 14, 15...and started smoking pot, getting in trouble at school, missing school, getting suspended and eventually did not graduate do to truancy and just not giving a darn. He got his diploma a little to easily from the school district just by taking three classes in summer school and passing. Easy peasy, no real consequences. All of my talks with counselors, his teachers, monitoring his school work, where he was, who he was with, encouraging, loving...didn't make a bit of difference except wear me out completely. No different in Jr. College either except at least he finished a semester instead of dropping out. In my opinion, low self esteem associated with ADHD led him to make poor decisions and taking up smoking pot. He will be 19 in two weeks and I am waiting until his finals are over and then discussing his saving money to move out. If he wants to go back to college, he'll have to do the work to get it going without me as I refuse to invest any more time and emotion into his future when he won't. These are decisions that you will have to make as well. They just can't get out of their own way and move forward in healthy and productive ways right now and I am tired of having to watch it and worry about it 24/7 while he is out partying with his friends, going to concerts, movies, parties....and I am home losing sleep and tying myself up into knots. I feel for you, I really do because I am where you are too. [/QUOTE]
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New here: need advice on what to do with 18 year old son
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