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New here: need advice on what to do with 18 year old son
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<blockquote data-quote="mary Kay" data-source="post: 531600" data-attributes="member: 14662"><p>My name is Mary Kay you can refer to me as: MK. I found this website and I hope it will be helpful for me as well as I hope I can offer support to others as well. I have a son who will be 19 on 5-25. In his sophomore year of high school, he began smoking pot. At that time he refused to go to school, stay at a job etc... I reached out to personnel at his high school - they acted like "it's your problem". I found a pipe, mask and pot. I drove my son to a sober alternative school "Sobriety High" to register. He refused to get out of the car. I called the cops to help me get him in the door. He entered the door and did VERY well until the end of his junior year when the school closed down due to lack of funding!!!. That was in June, 2010. He has not completed high school yet. He goes out with friends and gets high and drinks. He has a part-time job. He promises he will complete high school on line but has not done so yet. We are allowing him to stay at home with-us if he finishes high school and gets a full-time job. We are encouraging hime to go to college and will support him with that as well. He is a good kid - don't get me wrong. He has a big heart and he can be very caring etc... when he doesn' smoke pot. He went and worked with-his dad today - works with him to improve lawns. Worked 3 hours with his dad today. Dad is usually calling me at work reporting that our son is still sleeping @ 4:30pm - won't walk the dog, should be looking for a full-time job and finish high school etc... Dad and I agreed we should check his back-pack that he carries around everywhere (wonder why??) to see if he is using which we both believe he has been using. When he and his dad went to work together, I checked his back pack - found one pipe, one bong, pot, a container to pack pot and a bag full of little baggies. Dealing??? I took it out of his back pack and hid it. When he came home, he took a shower and reported he was "going to play basketball" with his back pack. </p><p>He left, came back very angry and asked where "the stuff" was. He reported that he was holding this in his backpack for a dealer who offered to give him $5.00 as the dealer got caught and was in jail. He reported that if he didn't get the stuff back, he was dead. This guy would kill him. At first, I told him i would not give it back and told him he needed to leave our house- because he was now putting his family in jeopardy. He yelled in my face "you xxxx" </p><p>don't you understand, I'm dead if I don't give that back!!!. I found it, threw it at him and told hime he needed to leave our house. He yelled fine - don't want to live here anyway - I can't believe you went into my backpack - you treat me like a child. He left after that with his backpack. Do you think I was wrong to kick him out? He refuses to go to treatment etc...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="mary Kay, post: 531600, member: 14662"] My name is Mary Kay you can refer to me as: MK. I found this website and I hope it will be helpful for me as well as I hope I can offer support to others as well. I have a son who will be 19 on 5-25. In his sophomore year of high school, he began smoking pot. At that time he refused to go to school, stay at a job etc... I reached out to personnel at his high school - they acted like "it's your problem". I found a pipe, mask and pot. I drove my son to a sober alternative school "Sobriety High" to register. He refused to get out of the car. I called the cops to help me get him in the door. He entered the door and did VERY well until the end of his junior year when the school closed down due to lack of funding!!!. That was in June, 2010. He has not completed high school yet. He goes out with friends and gets high and drinks. He has a part-time job. He promises he will complete high school on line but has not done so yet. We are allowing him to stay at home with-us if he finishes high school and gets a full-time job. We are encouraging hime to go to college and will support him with that as well. He is a good kid - don't get me wrong. He has a big heart and he can be very caring etc... when he doesn' smoke pot. He went and worked with-his dad today - works with him to improve lawns. Worked 3 hours with his dad today. Dad is usually calling me at work reporting that our son is still sleeping @ 4:30pm - won't walk the dog, should be looking for a full-time job and finish high school etc... Dad and I agreed we should check his back-pack that he carries around everywhere (wonder why??) to see if he is using which we both believe he has been using. When he and his dad went to work together, I checked his back pack - found one pipe, one bong, pot, a container to pack pot and a bag full of little baggies. Dealing??? I took it out of his back pack and hid it. When he came home, he took a shower and reported he was "going to play basketball" with his back pack. He left, came back very angry and asked where "the stuff" was. He reported that he was holding this in his backpack for a dealer who offered to give him $5.00 as the dealer got caught and was in jail. He reported that if he didn't get the stuff back, he was dead. This guy would kill him. At first, I told him i would not give it back and told him he needed to leave our house- because he was now putting his family in jeopardy. He yelled in my face "you xxxx" don't you understand, I'm dead if I don't give that back!!!. I found it, threw it at him and told hime he needed to leave our house. He yelled fine - don't want to live here anyway - I can't believe you went into my backpack - you treat me like a child. He left after that with his backpack. Do you think I was wrong to kick him out? He refuses to go to treatment etc... [/QUOTE]
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