New here, need some advice, opinions

[kacee65]

Hi Everyone... Glad I found this site because I'm about to go out of my mind. As a short background, my son has always been what I feel was a high maintenance child from the moment he was born. However, it seemed like we were able to control it for the most part. I'd mentioned several times to the pediatrician that I felt he was high maintenance, etc. and he would tell me what do you expect? You wanted a boy, he's a boy and he would kind of laugh about it. Coming from a very long line of girls, what did I know? I had never grown up around any boys and was completely clueless as to what was typical and what was not and given that nobody else ever thought this was a problem I thought all this behavior was just phases...

In any case, fast forward to today where he has become something I don't even recognize anymore. He has become extremely defiant, curses us any chance he gets and is just completely out of control. I notice that he gets frustrated easily and usually this revolves around him getting his way. He can be sitting there doing absolutely nothing and then like out of the blue he gets this idea in his head and it's gotta be this second and his way.. Whenever he wants something and doesn't get it that's when he goes into these rages where he threatens to either kill us or himself. If he's in a "normal" mood, then these threats don't happen. Not that he was completely normal before, which I can only see now looking back, but this has gone from doable to insanity in no time at all...

Anyway, a few months ago I found out he was smoking pot. His behavior's been real bad the last 6 months. I found out he's been smoking pot for about a year and just like everything else with him he does it to the extreme. He's now hooked on it. He has alot of the symptoms of ADHD from what I've been reading and where I'm confused is that I've been reading about ADHD and pot and most of what I've come across says that smoking pot is usually helpful for ADHD and doesn't make it worse.

I'm wondering if any of you here dealing with ADHD and kids who are smoking pot could comment on it and if any of you have found the oppposite of what most of what I've been reading says and that it can actually make it worse instead of better. Plus, I'm a little confused as I thought pot was more of a depressant than a stimulant so I'm confused as to how it would make ADHD better to begin with??? Any insight would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks,
Kacee

 

[DammitJanet]

Hi Kacee, Welcome to the board!

Sorry you had to find us. I so hate it when people say "boys will be boys" like that is supposed to mean something! Ugh.

Yes, I think from reading these boards for so long that the pot available on the streets today can really mess up kids minds today. It isnt the same stuff us old folks got back in the 60's and 70's. Now yes, there is the new medical marijuana out there but that is grown specially so it doesnt have additives. I wont go into that whole thing.

I think most folks here would say that kids can and do get addicted when they start early. They can also go on to using other things and tell their parents they are just using pot. That is fairly common. I sure dont want to worry you but the anger you talk about is not common for a person on pot, it is usually seen with other drugs. You might want to have him screened for an assortment of drugs.

Good luck. Keep coming back.

Oh, and please do a signature kind of like mine to help us all keep everyone straight. We are all slowly going senile!

 

[dadside]

I agree with Dammit Janet ... other drug use is likely, and you should have a good screening done. But even if it is "just" pot, I can't see that it offers anything positive for ADHD. What I've seen is instead of having difficulty with school work, a drug (incl pot) user does more avoidance.

You might have more than one thing going on with your son. I don't know. But I do think that getting him involved with some positive youth group ought to help, and certainly wouldn't hurt. In some areas, there are groups focused on kids like your son. It may take some digging to find them, if your area has them.

There are claims that pot can make all kinds of things better, just as there are claims about a lot of things. But real, demonstrable, repeatable proof is not so common.

 

[maril]

Welcome, kacee. I am sorry you are facing this and know it is very difficult. Hugs.

Janet's idea of putting together a signature is a good one.

I understand marijuana may have positive effects for some, but I just want to comment that I had seen a much more agitated and out-of-control person in my son when he was using marijuana regularly. He tested positive for marijuana, had been in treatment, but we can't say for sure he never used other drugs. In addition, we still are not positive about his diagnosis.

I hope you have good supports and that your son will be willing to seek help.

 

[kacee65]

Thanks to you all for the replies. I tried to post a reply and it seems to have gotten lost so sorry if it winds up reappearing and posts twice. If you could explain the signature to me, what it is, and how to do it, I'd appreciate it as I have never really joined an online forum and am pretty clueless as to what you guys mean.

Maril, yes. That is exactly what I have noticed. That his aggitation and bad moods have greatly increased since the pot smoking started. I've also noticed that he's totally screwed up his sleeping patterns as he had also started falling asleep in the afternoon and then staying up half the night and can't get up for school. He seems to believe that pot has done wonders for him and has made him better but I highly, highly disagree. Like I said we had issues with him before that were more under control but since the pot it has intensified tenfold.....

I have no idea if the pot is laced with anything, from what I've heard most of it is these days, and what kind of a factor that would have in all of it, but, we have tested him twice for other drugs, most recently last week, and nothing comes up other than the pot.

We have an appointment. for him today at the outpatient rehab and he is already complaining about going. I can see him starting to get agitated which is usually what happens anytime he doesn't want to do something or feels pressure to do something he doesn't want to. He doesn't want to stop smoking pot and has so much as told us that as soon as this rehab is over and he "passes" and they declare him clean, he fully intends to start smoking again... To be an extra big pain he's of course blaming us for all of this and saying if we didn't catch him everything would be fine and if we want to be like this he'll just take other drugs they can't detect and worse drugs.... I can never tell when the kid is bluffing or when he's serious and it's just very scary.

Kacee

 

[maril]

To create a signature: http://www.conductdisorders.com/community/threads/how-to-create-a-signature.8399/#axzz32wclDBuh

I see our sons have been dealing with similar issues. My son's sleep issues continue to be a problem even after treatment and staying clean; he is still having trouble getting to sleep at night and waking up in the morning - the difference is, he does not go into rages and is not combative on waking anymore (sigh of relief/easier to cope with).

Good luck with OP today. It really is an uphill battle for parents when teens (I am assuming he is a teen) resist treatment. I am going to PM you with some info.

 

[dadside]

..."We have an appointment. for him today at the outpatient rehab and he is already complaining about going. I can see him starting to get agitated which is usually what happens anytime he doesn't want to do something or feels pressure to do something he doesn't want to. He doesn't want to stop smoking pot and has so much as told us that as soon as this rehab is over and he "passes" and they declare him clean, he fully intends to start smoking again... "

Kacee

I believe outpatient drug rehab programs are of limited value when the participant doesn't want the help, which seems the case here. If you can, find some local program that offers teens other, active things to do, and provides some counseling along the way. I've seen one Boy Scout troop offer that, and know of at least one organization that offered weekend camping trips (at modest cost) - again with counseling thrown in. The idea is to get the teens doing something positive/healthy that they like, and provide positive role models without making the whole thing a counseling/therapy experience. [Some good therapeutic wilderness programs do much the same, although without necessarily requiring willing participants -- and at significant cost.]

 

[DammitJanet]

Not sure exactly how old your son is or if he has finished HS or if he is even willingly going but there are some programs out there run by the National Guard that can be good for kids around 16 and over. Google them. I cant remember the name and couldnt post it if I did. I havent had personal experience but I had a friend once who sent her son through it. It may be something you would want to look into...or not. Dont know.

 

[trinityroyal]

Just to add to the comments about the pot of today being far, far different from that which was available when we were younger.

Trinity

 

[GoingNorth]

husband who used marijuana recreationally as a young man, then started using it medicinally to help get through a few rounds of chemotherapy.

Even with getting his weed from a home grower who grew for personal use; husband commented that it was a heck of a lot stronger than he remembered pot being. We sort of attributed it to his using it for nausea and vomiting and nerve pain, combined with him having not used it for years.

It wasn't until I did some reading and found out that yes; today's pot is a heckuva lot stronger than it used to be.

 

[helpme]

I am not trying to cause a debate, but I feel that most difficult child are boundary-less and that
even the temptation of some things sets them over the edge. Personally, if its illegal,
I teach/preach that its illegal. Its not worth questioning yourself or dealing with the
guilt later on. I want the responsibility to be on the physicians and so forth, not upon
my child or myself.