New Here..Overwhelmed and Stressed Out..

[Catwmn]

Marguerite-

As far as homeschooling goes it is something I tried a few years ago when they were younger...I would still be doing it now if my father hadn't passed away suddenly forcing me to place them back in Public school so that I could grieve.

It is definitely something I am considering again at least with Aaron. The only thing that worries me, as selfish as it sounds, is that the ONLY time I get a break from these three little angels is when they are at school, and I NEED my breaks....Hubby works A LOT and isn't here most of the time to give me breaks, and we don't have other people to watch them due to (the other people) being afraid to be alone with Autistics, and an epileptic.

I think if I could get some DEFINITE breaks AND homeschool it would be a wonderful fit for us...but I don't think my sanity would survive homeschooling with no breaks..

Gee..doesn't that sound awfully selfish? UGH.

I plan on going out today to look for that book...

Thanks again!
Hugs,

 

[Catwmn]

Busywend- Tourettes has not been ruled out but I did have it pop into my head the other day when he just started screeching at the top of his lungs and saying "buttface" repeatedly.... As far as motor tics he chews his tongue a lot, sometimes to the point of making it bleed. I wonder sometimes if it's not seizure related though...


Fran- Aaron didn't USED to be mean intentionally....that all started when we started the Strattera....and I did a little test last night. I didn't give it to him...and you know what?? Today was almost peaceful!!! I suspect that a LOT of his behavior issues are due to the Stratterra...it just makes sense to me that most of his really unbearable behaviors started when we went on that stuff...so today it ends...(meaning I don't plan to give it to him anymore)We'll see what happens.... Thanks for the welcome!!

Big Bad Kitty- Thanks for the hugs!!

Desari- Thanks so much for the links!! I am looking into it now!!

Terry J2- Thanks!! That bubble bath was divine!! I can't wait for tonights!! And yes, our cows are very friendly...we have had all of them for 8 years now and they are all hand fed pets. We regularly go out and pet them and hand feed them. They are really big spoiled babies!!

Susiestar- I am currently working on ways to take time out for myself...I wholeheartedly agree that it is one of the most important aspects of raising these 3 angels....when I don't get my nightly bubblebath I am a BEAR to deal with the next day...Thanks so much for the warm welcome!! I looked through my bookshelf and I actually HAVE that book... It's called She's Gonna Blow by Julie Ann Barnhill. I bought it a while back and never read it...I just pulled it off the shelf and plan to put it into the rotation for this week!!

Nomatic- As of today I removed Aaron from his Stratterra and Invega. He is now only on his seizure medications. I have already noticed an improvement in his rage and anger issues. PLUS he isn't running in circles as of yet this afternoon...I am going to talk to his Neurologist on Monday about getting him in to see a Neuro psychiatric for an evaluation. As far as their diet goes we are on a new program that came from the new book by Jessica Seinfeld. Before this we were regular hamburger helper eaters....since I took them off of all of that and started making more healthy meals from scratch with organic ingredients(with veggies snuck in) I have noticed SOME improvement, but mainly they are more regular...Constipation was always an issue with my boys, and now it's not!! I will look into the fish oil supplements...I just started all 3 boys on an herbal supplement called Calm Child and I will update to let everyone know if that helps or not...Thanks for the welcome!!

 

[Chrissy]

I'm new too but wanted to say HI!! Hey are those milking cows cause I sure could use one. :smile:

I'm new at all this stuff and wanted to give ya a ((hug)) though cause it is tough and I am so tired of thinking I was just plain crazy with my difficult child.

 

[Catwmn]

Hey Chrissy,

Thanks for the warm hugs...they are deeply appreciated.. :smile:

 

[ShakespeareMamaX]

Welcome to the land of the wise!

Unfortunately...I have no good advice to give you as I am in quite the pickle, myself.

I wish you the best of luck and maybe, one day, we can meet up...and cry together. :bloodshot:

<3 <3 <3

 

[Marguerite]

On the personal selfishness concern you have, don't feel guilty about it. As other have said, you have to look after YOU.

However, I see home schooling as selfish. I no longer get my day disrupted by phone calls saying, "Come and get him." I no longer have to rush home to collect him from school. I no longer have to get up early and order my life by the clock; difficult child 3 can start school in his pyjamas if he wants. I no longer have to make sandwiches for his school lunch - I can feed him whatever I'm eating too, or if he gets hungry and I'm not ready for him, he gets himself some pot noodles. He works on his own once I give him the work, I just potter around doing what I need to do but being available if he has a question. He's learning to be resourceful, he has had a lot of practice at looking up a dictionary or Wikipedia. We have no more homework battles because it's all homework, by definition. But it means all required work is done during the day while medications are on board. This means he goes out to play when other parents are unpacking the school bag, checking for nasty notes from school, nagging about homework, etc.

We put a rule in place at the very beginning - "school work during school hours". This means if you don't cooperate, boyo, you can go back to a classroom setting. Your choice.

It does mean I tend to plan my life a bit more, but there is far less chance of those plans being badly disrupted.

And the other big thing - if I go back to sending difficult child 3 to a classroom setting, I can just about guarantee he will do badly academically and go backwards socially. Where he will end up - not good. Doing things this way he stands a better chance doing well academically and eventually getting a job which will keep me in a style to which I'd like to become accustomed. I do not want a future sitting in courtrooms, posting bail, reading tear-stained letters from prison or, at worst, placing flowers on a grave. I'm putting in this effort as an investment in MY future!

Marg

 

[SaraT]

Welcome.

I know just how you feel. My difficult child can be an absolute nightmare with her behavior. I found that the ADHD medications made her behavior worse and even to the point of completely uncontrolable. Now it turns out she may not have ADHD/ODD at all but actually Apregers instead. Top that off with mood disorder and you have the makings of a rough time.

I found this site to be very helpful with support and advise. We have all had our days of wanting to run and hid. I hope it helps to know you are not alone.

I don't really have advise, but do suggest that you see if there is a support group in your area. Sometimes just getting an hour or so break away from the difficult children is a Godsend.

 

[BusynMember]

Welcome!
Get him off the Straterra (with doctor's assistance). I know MANY kids who get worse on that.
Don't homeschool him. You need "me" time. I'm in a very small town. They had to place my Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) son in a school in a different district so that he could get the proper education, and, boy, he's done great!
My son does better on no medications. He is in interventions at school and that is what helps. The school HAS to do a FAPE for him, small school or not. The child with severe autism deserves more than just less work, and YOU deserve your break (no, it doesn't sound awful). Call your state dept. of public education and tell them you need more for your kids.
SEE A neuropsychologist! You can find them at children's and university hospitals. They are worth the travel, if necessary!

 

[SprinkleMeLola]

I may be way off, but a lot of the behavior problems your Aaron is having sounds like ODD. My difficult child does a LOT of the same things. Has that been ruled out?

 

[presby]

Welcome, I am also new to the site! I have a 10 year old with ADHD, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD),ODD and PTSD he is a hand full!!!!!
I am considering putting him in a theraputic foster program.
Talk about GUILT but I am a single mom with a husband who is NOT supportive. He is filling his head with all sorts of stuff :grrr: I am at the end of my rope and friends do not understand............ I fear he will hate me forever but he needs to learn how to respect ME and other woman and I cannot teach whatI don't have for myself............
Well I just want you to know you are not alone and keep writing it will help!!!!

Presby

 

[presby]

I am writing for some much needed advice............
I am a single mom seperated from my husband for a year now, with 3 kids 7,8&10. MY ten yr. old is ADHD,ODD &PTSD due to abuse at the hands of his father. He is totally DEFIANT, DISRESPECTFUL and IMPULSIVE......He has been in therapy since he was 3 and on bucko medications!!!!!
I am at the end of my rope...I am considering placing him in theraputic foster care...........My guilt is overwhelming but I cannot teach him respect that I don't have for myself.
I would welcome any advice from people who have been there.

Thank You
Presby

 

[Marguerite]

Presby, to really get the responses you need you should begin a new thread by going to the top of the page and clicking on "new thread"

Give us more information, put the details of your kids in a sig which will appear at the bottom of each of your posts which will save you the trouble of having to repeat it all every time you visit.

Two things people will recommend - confirm that your son has been thoroughly and recently evaluated, preferably by a neuropsychologist, and dig out a copy of "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene and read it through. Grab a copy from the library if you don't want to buy a copy until you're sure it's what you need.

Also, people will want to ask you more detail on your son, the specific problems you deal with etc. Examples.

Keep the real names confidential, we use acronyms or pseudonyms here a lot. It makes it easier to say what you feel you need to, without concern that people will read it here and use it against you where you live.

But do give us a new post on this, something specific to you. People who have already posted here for Catherine may miss your posts if you just leave them here and nowhere else, but they will visit a new thread.

Looking forward to getting to know you!

Marg

 

[tired Cheryl]

Hi, Catherine:

Welcome. I am in your neck of the woods as well. It sure sounds like you have your hands full. Lots of good advice given to you by previous posters.

Can you tell us more about your son's recently diagnosed epilpesy? What type of seizures does he have and how frequent? Were the Depakote and Trileptal prescribed because of seizures or behavior? You mentioned neurologist, is that a pediatric neurologist? Epileptologist?

Hang in there.
Cheryl

 

[Catwmn]

Hi Cheryl,

Aaron is on both the Depakote and Trileptal for epilepsy.

He had his first seizure on June 28, 2007. It was a Status seizure that lasted over an hour and landed us in Pediatric ICU at TCH. He has had two other ones since then. He has absence seizures probably between 75-100 times a day. Partials several times a week.

He has Absence seizures, tonic clonic, Complex Partial, and simple partial and yesterday he had an Atonic for the first time...He has had 3 Status seizures that have landed us in the hospital at TCH in the past several months. He sees a Pediatric Neurologist. I wasn't aware there was any such thing as an Epileptologist...I may have to check into that some more.

I need to change my sig...He is now OFF the Strattera and Invega and he is taking Depakote, Trileptal, and Risperdal.

We are going tomorrow for bloodwork to see how his levels are. He is having some symptoms of Hyponatremia, and Liver Dysfunction so I am a little concerned.

Thanks for the welcome.

 

[susiestar]

Cheryl,

My mom has a chronic inherited liver disease. The only way it was caught was by making a graph of her liver enzyme and other lab work. Was actually several separate charts. The trends in liver chemistry can tell as much as the actual numbers.

This is one thing no one tells you until suddenly you need 5 years of lab tests to figure something out. I urge you to do this.

My daughter has absence seizures (diagnosed last year) and some others that have not been caught on the EEGs.

I totally sympathize with your frustration. We are homeschooling because there is not any way my daughter could function in school with the epilepsy causing lots of problems. At one time she had 2-3 very short seizures a minute. As many as 30 in 10 minutes. Short 5 second seizures, but it makes it hard to really understand a lecture. It took over a year to get to a therapeautic level of her medication, Keppra. We tried several and dealth with the stomach problems.

I totally sympathize with you. Sending many hugs!

Susie