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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 43898" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>The book's been recommended. Good. It should help a lot, especially with a bright kid. He sounds like he uses reason and therefore should be open to reason, where it isn't affected by his impulse control problems or other issues which can override common sense.</p><p></p><p>He's only 7. You've got time on your side. But it does sound to me like he is angry and very frustrated.</p><p></p><p>Have you tried explaining to him what the medications are for? Asking him why he doesn't want to take them? I went through this with easy child 2/difficult child 2 and it turned out (after a lot of careful discussion, tantrums, explosions and "I can't put it into words" despite her IQ also being extraordinary) that there was something in how the medications made her feel. We talked it through, talked to the doctor and adjusted her medications (timing and dosage) until she felt better.</p><p></p><p>A big part of the problem was that easy child 2/difficult child 2 (and difficult child 1) simply had no idea how others perceived her, medication-less. SHE felt she was perfectly fine, but we wanted to strangle her. Off her medications she thought this was terribly funny. </p><p></p><p>In our case, we had siblings to help explain, so it wasn't just us saying, "Take your medications! Without them, you're a ditz!" But we were getting ready to videotape the kids while off medications, to show the problems we had. difficult child 1 off medications isn't a ditz, he's aggressive. He gets a look on his face and a tone to his voice that is totally at odds with how he is 99% of the time.</p><p></p><p>I STRONGLY urge you to get his diagnosis checked. And remember, the brighter the child, the harder it is to pinpoint Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) because as they get older they learn to mask it. They're not being deceptive; they're being 'normal', in that they're trying to fit in to a world t hat makes t hem feel like aliens.</p><p></p><p>A suggestion - go to <a href="http://www.childbrain.com" target="_blank">http://www.childbrain.com</a> and look for their online Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) test. This is NOT diagnostic, you can't use it that way, but it can give you some idea of what we mean. You can also print the test result and take it to your doctor to get a professional opinion. It's a good way to crystallise concerns and provide a summary of things in that area which are maybe worth looking at.</p><p></p><p>Percentile 99 - if that's top 1%, then that's all four of my kids too. NOT fun, but very interesting in other ways. We had to pull both our boys out of mainstream because it simply wasn't meeting their needs. difficult child 1 was failing. difficult child 3 should have been failing. They were enrolled in correspondence school (an option for us). difficult child 3 & I were there today for their Open Day and I had a talk to a couple of his senior teachers about a curriculum problem. I pointed out to them that only at home and in correspondence has difficult child 3 learned ANYTHING. He was seven years in mainstream and learnt absolutely nothing positive. He still has gaps in his knowledge that we are filling as we identify them. because he is autistic, he needs to learn in his own way, not the way the schools necessarily think is the way. I explained it to difficult child 3 as different people having different operating systems in their brains. Some people have easy child brains, other people have mac brains, but the output off the printer, if the correct software is there for each type of person, is indistinguishable. Basically, he can feel free to learn in his own way as long as he can produce what is recognised as equal (or better) to others.</p><p></p><p>And he does. He still needs things explained in a fairy concrete way although he's capable of some amazing abstractions. Despite his autism label, he is highly sociable and enjoys being around other people. A thought for you - difficult child 3's autism means he is often socially inappropriate in a way I suspect your son might be too - he does not distinguish between adult or child, in his interactions. difficult child 3 would chastise a teacher in the same tone a teacher might use on him. So if a teacher chastised him for dropping a paper on the ground they would need to be very sure they never did the same thing, or they would hear across the playground: "Oy, you there! Mr Anderson! Pick that up NOW!" in exactly the tone of voice they used to him. Because in talking to him like that, they modelled appropriate behaviour for him, in his mind.</p><p>He also will talk to a baby as if that baby can understand a great deal more than they really can. For example, we were in a hospital waiting room and difficult child 3 was reading a book to a 3 month old baby (my suggestion). He held up a coupe of books to the baby and asked the baby to choose which one to read. When the baby waved a vague hand (as babies do) difficult child 3 took that as t he baby making a choice, and began to read. Through the story he would stop, show the book to the baby (which autistic kids are not supposed to be able to do) and ask the baby a question, such as "Can you see the duck? What is it doing?" In this he was patterning the way we used to read to him to extend his language.</p><p>difficult child 3 was an early reader. We now know this is called hyperlexia, especially where their understanding is not as good as their reading ability. And especially when coupled with autism-like traits. difficult child 3 was typing the alphabet (upper and lower case) and numbers, when he turned 2. He was reading sheet music. He was playing piano. And he was non-verbal. He sure can talk now! And very clearly and fluently, too.</p><p></p><p>So keep an open mind, be aware that your child is going to break a lot of rules and descriptions, and be prepared to treat him as the extreme individual he is. The recommended book will help you plug into him more effectively (and positively) which will bring the fringe benefit of you being able to recognise and therefore meet his needs socially, academically and therapeutically. Be creative, be adventurous and you will really begin to enjoy your unique child. That book really helps you deal positively with the oppositionality. It's not a cure, but it makes a big difference.</p><p></p><p>And welcome.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 43898, member: 1991"] The book's been recommended. Good. It should help a lot, especially with a bright kid. He sounds like he uses reason and therefore should be open to reason, where it isn't affected by his impulse control problems or other issues which can override common sense. He's only 7. You've got time on your side. But it does sound to me like he is angry and very frustrated. Have you tried explaining to him what the medications are for? Asking him why he doesn't want to take them? I went through this with easy child 2/difficult child 2 and it turned out (after a lot of careful discussion, tantrums, explosions and "I can't put it into words" despite her IQ also being extraordinary) that there was something in how the medications made her feel. We talked it through, talked to the doctor and adjusted her medications (timing and dosage) until she felt better. A big part of the problem was that easy child 2/difficult child 2 (and difficult child 1) simply had no idea how others perceived her, medication-less. SHE felt she was perfectly fine, but we wanted to strangle her. Off her medications she thought this was terribly funny. In our case, we had siblings to help explain, so it wasn't just us saying, "Take your medications! Without them, you're a ditz!" But we were getting ready to videotape the kids while off medications, to show the problems we had. difficult child 1 off medications isn't a ditz, he's aggressive. He gets a look on his face and a tone to his voice that is totally at odds with how he is 99% of the time. I STRONGLY urge you to get his diagnosis checked. And remember, the brighter the child, the harder it is to pinpoint Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) because as they get older they learn to mask it. They're not being deceptive; they're being 'normal', in that they're trying to fit in to a world t hat makes t hem feel like aliens. A suggestion - go to [url="http://www.childbrain.com"]http://www.childbrain.com[/url] and look for their online Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) test. This is NOT diagnostic, you can't use it that way, but it can give you some idea of what we mean. You can also print the test result and take it to your doctor to get a professional opinion. It's a good way to crystallise concerns and provide a summary of things in that area which are maybe worth looking at. Percentile 99 - if that's top 1%, then that's all four of my kids too. NOT fun, but very interesting in other ways. We had to pull both our boys out of mainstream because it simply wasn't meeting their needs. difficult child 1 was failing. difficult child 3 should have been failing. They were enrolled in correspondence school (an option for us). difficult child 3 & I were there today for their Open Day and I had a talk to a couple of his senior teachers about a curriculum problem. I pointed out to them that only at home and in correspondence has difficult child 3 learned ANYTHING. He was seven years in mainstream and learnt absolutely nothing positive. He still has gaps in his knowledge that we are filling as we identify them. because he is autistic, he needs to learn in his own way, not the way the schools necessarily think is the way. I explained it to difficult child 3 as different people having different operating systems in their brains. Some people have easy child brains, other people have mac brains, but the output off the printer, if the correct software is there for each type of person, is indistinguishable. Basically, he can feel free to learn in his own way as long as he can produce what is recognised as equal (or better) to others. And he does. He still needs things explained in a fairy concrete way although he's capable of some amazing abstractions. Despite his autism label, he is highly sociable and enjoys being around other people. A thought for you - difficult child 3's autism means he is often socially inappropriate in a way I suspect your son might be too - he does not distinguish between adult or child, in his interactions. difficult child 3 would chastise a teacher in the same tone a teacher might use on him. So if a teacher chastised him for dropping a paper on the ground they would need to be very sure they never did the same thing, or they would hear across the playground: "Oy, you there! Mr Anderson! Pick that up NOW!" in exactly the tone of voice they used to him. Because in talking to him like that, they modelled appropriate behaviour for him, in his mind. He also will talk to a baby as if that baby can understand a great deal more than they really can. For example, we were in a hospital waiting room and difficult child 3 was reading a book to a 3 month old baby (my suggestion). He held up a coupe of books to the baby and asked the baby to choose which one to read. When the baby waved a vague hand (as babies do) difficult child 3 took that as t he baby making a choice, and began to read. Through the story he would stop, show the book to the baby (which autistic kids are not supposed to be able to do) and ask the baby a question, such as "Can you see the duck? What is it doing?" In this he was patterning the way we used to read to him to extend his language. difficult child 3 was an early reader. We now know this is called hyperlexia, especially where their understanding is not as good as their reading ability. And especially when coupled with autism-like traits. difficult child 3 was typing the alphabet (upper and lower case) and numbers, when he turned 2. He was reading sheet music. He was playing piano. And he was non-verbal. He sure can talk now! And very clearly and fluently, too. So keep an open mind, be aware that your child is going to break a lot of rules and descriptions, and be prepared to treat him as the extreme individual he is. The recommended book will help you plug into him more effectively (and positively) which will bring the fringe benefit of you being able to recognise and therefore meet his needs socially, academically and therapeutically. Be creative, be adventurous and you will really begin to enjoy your unique child. That book really helps you deal positively with the oppositionality. It's not a cure, but it makes a big difference. And welcome. Marg [/QUOTE]
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