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new here...please help i'm at a loss
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 734110" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>njmom,welcome.I'm sorry you are struggling with your son's issues. I understand and have empathy for you feeling alone, many if not most of us feel that way....and with limited support from your husband, it's not hard to see how alone you feel. I'm sorry your husband is not more supportive of you and your son, it's unfortunate that he feels it necessary to make insensitive and hurtful remarks. </p><p></p><p>I do not have suggestions about your son's diagnoses other than it can be awhile before anything concrete is formulated, which is hard on you. I suggest you contact NAMI The National Alliance on Mental illness. They offer parent courses which will give you information, resources, support and help. You can access them online, they have chapters in many cities. Here is the link: <a href="https://www.nami.org/#" target="_blank">NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness</a></p><p></p><p>It is imperative that you find support for yourself. This is a difficult path and dealing with this alone with limited support will set you up to be depleted, exhausted and more depressed. Seek out support for yourself in private therapy, parent groups, anywhere where you are safe, seen, heard, listened to, are able to vent, speak freely and get all the support & guidance you need. Perhaps starting with NAMI and their parent course. If you would like therapy, good resources for local therapists are goodtherapy.org and the Psychology today website. This is a tough journey you're on, however, if you give yourself the gift of support for YOU and focus some of your attention on yourself, it will make a huge difference....</p><p></p><p>Take care of yourself, nurture and nourish yourself as you continue advocating for your son. Continue posting here, it helps to share our stories and be offered compassion and understanding.....you are NOT alone, you are among a kind and caring community of other parents who've walked or are walking in similar shoes.........we will circle our wagons around you while you walk this path....we understand the pain and the guilt and the fear.....</p><p></p><p>You matter too nymom.....your feelings and your fears and your hurting mother's heart matter.....and this is important to hear.....<strong><em>you did not do anything wrong</em></strong>.....you can avoid a lot of pain if you release the guilt now, it serves no purpose but to keep you stuck and offer you unending suffering.....things happen in life we have no control over....how you respond is important.....blaming yourself is not productive, it's useless.... Others in your life may direct that blame to you, but they're wrong, they don't get it like we do here......<em>you didn't do anything wrong</em>..... it just is what it is.....accept that.......and proceed with finding options for your son. </p><p></p><p>My prayers are with you......</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 734110, member: 13542"] njmom,welcome.I'm sorry you are struggling with your son's issues. I understand and have empathy for you feeling alone, many if not most of us feel that way....and with limited support from your husband, it's not hard to see how alone you feel. I'm sorry your husband is not more supportive of you and your son, it's unfortunate that he feels it necessary to make insensitive and hurtful remarks. I do not have suggestions about your son's diagnoses other than it can be awhile before anything concrete is formulated, which is hard on you. I suggest you contact NAMI The National Alliance on Mental illness. They offer parent courses which will give you information, resources, support and help. You can access them online, they have chapters in many cities. Here is the link: [URL="https://www.nami.org/#"]NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness[/URL] It is imperative that you find support for yourself. This is a difficult path and dealing with this alone with limited support will set you up to be depleted, exhausted and more depressed. Seek out support for yourself in private therapy, parent groups, anywhere where you are safe, seen, heard, listened to, are able to vent, speak freely and get all the support & guidance you need. Perhaps starting with NAMI and their parent course. If you would like therapy, good resources for local therapists are goodtherapy.org and the Psychology today website. This is a tough journey you're on, however, if you give yourself the gift of support for YOU and focus some of your attention on yourself, it will make a huge difference.... Take care of yourself, nurture and nourish yourself as you continue advocating for your son. Continue posting here, it helps to share our stories and be offered compassion and understanding.....you are NOT alone, you are among a kind and caring community of other parents who've walked or are walking in similar shoes.........we will circle our wagons around you while you walk this path....we understand the pain and the guilt and the fear..... You matter too nymom.....your feelings and your fears and your hurting mother's heart matter.....and this is important to hear.....[B][I]you did not do anything wrong[/I][/B].....you can avoid a lot of pain if you release the guilt now, it serves no purpose but to keep you stuck and offer you unending suffering.....things happen in life we have no control over....how you respond is important.....blaming yourself is not productive, it's useless.... Others in your life may direct that blame to you, but they're wrong, they don't get it like we do here......[I]you didn't do anything wrong[/I]..... it just is what it is.....accept that.......and proceed with finding options for your son. My prayers are with you...... [/QUOTE]
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