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New here problems with odd stepson
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 586428" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hi and welcome to the board, but sorry you had to come here.</p><p></p><p>A few things. I'm not sure the school can tell you anything. You aren't related to him. I know that my son's X's boyfriend doesn't get any reports or info about my grandson and I feel that it's the correct thing to do as the boyfriend is just the boyfriend. My son has told the school he doesn't want this boyfriend to get information. So I think Dad would have better luck.</p><p></p><p>Secondly, had this child EVER been evaluated by a neuropsychologist or even seen a psychiatrist? The things he does are so bizarre that I'm thinking he is either mentally ill or has a form of autism rather than being a "bad" boy. The things he is doing is not the way a "normal" teen would bug you, if that was his intention. I think this child badly needs a total evaulation. I think something is the matter with him. If his birthmother drank while she was pregnant, he could very well have brain damage as in fetal alcohol spectrum. Even drinking a small amount can cause this. If she is an alcoholic, my guess is that she drank a lot, pregnant or not. Also, the boy was tossed back and forth a lot in his early years which can cause attachment problems, but again his behavior is so bizarre, I'm guessing he has some sort of disorder or fetal alcohol spectrum disorder. Under those circumstances, he would require a totally different type of parenting than for other kids. Where is the father? Why is this child getting no help except to see a school therapist? Most school therapists are pretty useless anyway.</p><p></p><p>I think you need to consider that maybe this kid is n't doing this to annoy you, but because something is wrong with him and he's not getting adequate help. Also, you need to decide if you want to live with this. This is one of your boyfriend's children and he's not going away. If both bio. mom and boyfriend don't want to get him help, and don't think he's that bad, then he isn't going to improve because nobody is helping him and you may even take the heat as the bad guy.</p><p></p><p>I would strongly push boyfriend to get a neuropsychologist evaluation here. Clearly, repetition and consequences don't teach him anything. He needs more help than you and boyfriend and school therapist can give him. </p><p></p><p>I wish you luck. The weekends can be slow. Others will check in though.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 586428, member: 1550"] Hi and welcome to the board, but sorry you had to come here. A few things. I'm not sure the school can tell you anything. You aren't related to him. I know that my son's X's boyfriend doesn't get any reports or info about my grandson and I feel that it's the correct thing to do as the boyfriend is just the boyfriend. My son has told the school he doesn't want this boyfriend to get information. So I think Dad would have better luck. Secondly, had this child EVER been evaluated by a neuropsychologist or even seen a psychiatrist? The things he does are so bizarre that I'm thinking he is either mentally ill or has a form of autism rather than being a "bad" boy. The things he is doing is not the way a "normal" teen would bug you, if that was his intention. I think this child badly needs a total evaulation. I think something is the matter with him. If his birthmother drank while she was pregnant, he could very well have brain damage as in fetal alcohol spectrum. Even drinking a small amount can cause this. If she is an alcoholic, my guess is that she drank a lot, pregnant or not. Also, the boy was tossed back and forth a lot in his early years which can cause attachment problems, but again his behavior is so bizarre, I'm guessing he has some sort of disorder or fetal alcohol spectrum disorder. Under those circumstances, he would require a totally different type of parenting than for other kids. Where is the father? Why is this child getting no help except to see a school therapist? Most school therapists are pretty useless anyway. I think you need to consider that maybe this kid is n't doing this to annoy you, but because something is wrong with him and he's not getting adequate help. Also, you need to decide if you want to live with this. This is one of your boyfriend's children and he's not going away. If both bio. mom and boyfriend don't want to get him help, and don't think he's that bad, then he isn't going to improve because nobody is helping him and you may even take the heat as the bad guy. I would strongly push boyfriend to get a neuropsychologist evaluation here. Clearly, repetition and consequences don't teach him anything. He needs more help than you and boyfriend and school therapist can give him. I wish you luck. The weekends can be slow. Others will check in though. [/QUOTE]
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