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New here problems with odd stepson
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 586483" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Actually, Y, you sound like the most sensible of all of them! Seriously, you are the only one who seems to realize that this boy needs help. I do think the way he lived contributed to his behavior, but your boyfriend has three kids and this seems to be the only one so damaged, which is why I think that on top of having a horrible home life, this boy probably also has a disorder that has made him less resilient than the other two children.</p><p></p><p>Do you know what I honestly think? Unfortunately, I always speak my mind <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> I think you are better than both this boyfriend AND bio. mom. How could boyfriend live ALL THOSE YEARS in those conditions and NOT take his children out of there? How could he allow them to live for twelve years in such a horrible place? in my opinion he is as culpable as bio. mom and, yes, I think they are covering up that she drank during her pregnancy. It is unlikely that you, without having any legal rights, can help this boy and nobody else wants to do it. He may be on drugs for all you know.</p><p></p><p></p><p>You sound kind and smart and could find a better more stable boyfriend. Do you really want to deal with all this denial from your boyfriend's mistakes PLUS his cluelessness that something is wrong with his son? What if his son hurts you? in my opinion if your boyfriend is not willing to go to couple's counseling with you to seriously address these issues, it is probably not going to end up a tolerable situation for you. I strongly, strongly, strongly recommend couple's counseling as well as a neuropsychologist for this boy. If boyfriend won't do both, he is not as committed to you and your well being and happiness as he should be (in my opinion). I still think YOU should go to therapy to talk about this relationship and help yourself decide if this is what you want and to help yourself. You count too!! Your boyfriend sounds intolerably arrogant and, sorry, too egotistical to change anything. Again, I feel you deserve better treatment. I don't think the boy is deliberately trying to hurt you, but boyfriend sure isn't trying to make a nice life for you or his kids.</p><p></p><p>Hugs and good luck. Let us know what you decide to do.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 586483, member: 1550"] Actually, Y, you sound like the most sensible of all of them! Seriously, you are the only one who seems to realize that this boy needs help. I do think the way he lived contributed to his behavior, but your boyfriend has three kids and this seems to be the only one so damaged, which is why I think that on top of having a horrible home life, this boy probably also has a disorder that has made him less resilient than the other two children. Do you know what I honestly think? Unfortunately, I always speak my mind :) I think you are better than both this boyfriend AND bio. mom. How could boyfriend live ALL THOSE YEARS in those conditions and NOT take his children out of there? How could he allow them to live for twelve years in such a horrible place? in my opinion he is as culpable as bio. mom and, yes, I think they are covering up that she drank during her pregnancy. It is unlikely that you, without having any legal rights, can help this boy and nobody else wants to do it. He may be on drugs for all you know. You sound kind and smart and could find a better more stable boyfriend. Do you really want to deal with all this denial from your boyfriend's mistakes PLUS his cluelessness that something is wrong with his son? What if his son hurts you? in my opinion if your boyfriend is not willing to go to couple's counseling with you to seriously address these issues, it is probably not going to end up a tolerable situation for you. I strongly, strongly, strongly recommend couple's counseling as well as a neuropsychologist for this boy. If boyfriend won't do both, he is not as committed to you and your well being and happiness as he should be (in my opinion). I still think YOU should go to therapy to talk about this relationship and help yourself decide if this is what you want and to help yourself. You count too!! Your boyfriend sounds intolerably arrogant and, sorry, too egotistical to change anything. Again, I feel you deserve better treatment. I don't think the boy is deliberately trying to hurt you, but boyfriend sure isn't trying to make a nice life for you or his kids. Hugs and good luck. Let us know what you decide to do. [/QUOTE]
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