Hi there. I'm Mindy and I have 3 kiddos. Despite the fact that my middle son has a very serious and rare genetic disability, it's my oldest who has been giving me the biggest challenges lately. J is 10 and has always been highly sensitive and inflexible but lately he seems to be flying off the handle all.the.time. He's seen therapists in the past but it's only this most recent therapist who seems to "get" him. (Interestingly she hasn't even met him yet). She has said he fits pretty well with the diagnosis of ODD with a touch of ADHD. Not a big surprise to us. And, really, we've been approaching discipline with him the way many recommend disciplining an ODD child just because it's what we have found that works. So obviously it's exhausting parenting him but at least it somewhat seems to be going well. The problems we're having now are at school and with his little sister who's 4. J is very intelligent and has tested in the gifted program at school but I suspect he's been coasting for the most part because now that he's in 5th and the work is getting more challenging (meaning he can't get by on smarts alone) his work is suffering and his confidence is diminishing. His friends have always been great in sports while J is not. But at least he was always the smart one. Now that he's struggling in school he's feeling pretty worthless. To make matters worse, his teacher is pretty old school in her approach to work and discipline. This is not sitting well with J. So my question is should we inform his teacher of his new diagnosis? My fear is that this will stigmatize J in her eyes (this is based on her reaction to learning about J's little brother with the disability). Next issue is with J's interactions with his 4 yr old sister. He used to adore her and she still adores him but their interactions lately have been so explosive and hostile. He can turn on her in an instant and it scares the heck out of her. I've learned how to control my own reactions with J but when it's between J and his sister I feel powerless. And she's learning some of his bad habits (yelling at us, expressing negative opinions to everything). Her personality "default" is loving, easy going and delightful. So seeing her adopt her brother's attitudes and expressions is disturbing. The therapist so far is helping us deal with J but has offered no tips yet on sibling interaction and it's to the point where I just want to keep them separated to avoid the inevitable problems. And I know that difficult child refers to your difficult child, but what exactly does it stand for?