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New here, ready to hang my son by his toenails.
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<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 371581" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p>Welcome, Comatheart.</p><p>So sorry you had to find us. I hope you find your way back!</p><p>So many of the restrictions/lockdowns/interventions you've enacted sound just like what we've done. I hate to live like this, but our son has a very slow learning curve and it is much better to be proactive than reactive.</p><p>I would suggest taking your son to a neuropsychologist for a long evaluation.</p><p>I would also suggest somehow finding out if he understands any of the conseqences of his behavior. We have sat down with-our son on several occasions, the most powerful being with-police and a therapist (not at the same time), and told him that what he got away with-as a kid will not wash when he is a teen. It flat-out means juvenile detention and later, jail.</p><p>It is very, very good that your son cried. Don't discount the tears just because he lied about how many times he has stolen. Something, somehow, got through to him.</p><p>Sometimes, our son cries because he knows he's been caught. Sometimes he cries because he knows whatever he did/took will be taken away. Sometimes, he even cries because he feels real remorse. That is the goal we are reaching toward.</p><p>The problem is, with-your son's impulsivity (and I can guarantee you that one if his dxes will be impulsivity and maybe ADHD, a handy term) he will steal again, and you will have to scare the you-know-what out of him again. And again.</p><p>I cannot promise you 100%, but I can pretty much assure you that at some point, he will learn.</p><p>It is just that he will not learn on any learning curve that you have yet experienced in this lifetime.</p><p>Do NOT let him wear you down. Much easier said than done, as I'm sure you've seen from many of the notes on this board. Raising a child like this makes us all turn prematurely gray.</p><p>Can you give us some history of what he was like as a baby and as a toddler? Did he reach all of his milestones on time? </p><p>I hate to say this, but since you already have one child who is special needs, it is possible that this son is also special needs, but so high functioning that he has flown under your radar until now. And that's what the neuropsychologist evaluation would be looking for. Just a thought.</p><p>Also, in regard to the depression, I have two thoughts. One is that when the hormones hit, they can hit in a number of different ways. One can be depression.</p><p>The other is that the dr who diagnosed lack of sleep could be right on, especially since you just discovered that your son has stolen electronics on numerous occasions, so he is either staying out late at night to steal, or he is staying up late at night play the games and electronics that he has stolen, so he is sleep deprived either way.</p><p>My son has only stolen electronics from one (ex)friend that we are aware of, and the rest he steals from rooms in our house, so we have locks on all the doors. The fun never ends. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /></p><p>So far, you and your husband have done a GREAT job responding as a team to a rather untenable situation.</p><p>Keep up the teamwork. Get lots of sleep. Stay vigilant. </p><p>Keep us posted!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 371581, member: 3419"] Welcome, Comatheart. So sorry you had to find us. I hope you find your way back! So many of the restrictions/lockdowns/interventions you've enacted sound just like what we've done. I hate to live like this, but our son has a very slow learning curve and it is much better to be proactive than reactive. I would suggest taking your son to a neuropsychologist for a long evaluation. I would also suggest somehow finding out if he understands any of the conseqences of his behavior. We have sat down with-our son on several occasions, the most powerful being with-police and a therapist (not at the same time), and told him that what he got away with-as a kid will not wash when he is a teen. It flat-out means juvenile detention and later, jail. It is very, very good that your son cried. Don't discount the tears just because he lied about how many times he has stolen. Something, somehow, got through to him. Sometimes, our son cries because he knows he's been caught. Sometimes he cries because he knows whatever he did/took will be taken away. Sometimes, he even cries because he feels real remorse. That is the goal we are reaching toward. The problem is, with-your son's impulsivity (and I can guarantee you that one if his dxes will be impulsivity and maybe ADHD, a handy term) he will steal again, and you will have to scare the you-know-what out of him again. And again. I cannot promise you 100%, but I can pretty much assure you that at some point, he will learn. It is just that he will not learn on any learning curve that you have yet experienced in this lifetime. Do NOT let him wear you down. Much easier said than done, as I'm sure you've seen from many of the notes on this board. Raising a child like this makes us all turn prematurely gray. Can you give us some history of what he was like as a baby and as a toddler? Did he reach all of his milestones on time? I hate to say this, but since you already have one child who is special needs, it is possible that this son is also special needs, but so high functioning that he has flown under your radar until now. And that's what the neuropsychologist evaluation would be looking for. Just a thought. Also, in regard to the depression, I have two thoughts. One is that when the hormones hit, they can hit in a number of different ways. One can be depression. The other is that the dr who diagnosed lack of sleep could be right on, especially since you just discovered that your son has stolen electronics on numerous occasions, so he is either staying out late at night to steal, or he is staying up late at night play the games and electronics that he has stolen, so he is sleep deprived either way. My son has only stolen electronics from one (ex)friend that we are aware of, and the rest he steals from rooms in our house, so we have locks on all the doors. The fun never ends. :winking: So far, you and your husband have done a GREAT job responding as a team to a rather untenable situation. Keep up the teamwork. Get lots of sleep. Stay vigilant. Keep us posted! [/QUOTE]
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