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new here... so happy I found this forum...
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<blockquote data-quote="idk" data-source="post: 613795" data-attributes="member: 17380"><p>Oh my gosh, I can't thank you all enough. I have never felt so not alone before! To answer a couple of questions that were asked...</p><p></p><p>I came into SS's life when he was 3.5 years old so I wasn't around when he was very young, but I do know his history. His mother (who again, I like, but has made some unfortunate decisions with her kids) had him at a relatively young age and bounced around to different households a lot. I think my husband said there has been a different boyfriend at every single one of SS's birthday parties. She has lived with multiple boyfriends, been engaged to one, married and divorced from another. I know she tries really hard but she's always with a new guy. In the three years (almost exactly) I have known her she is now living in the 6th place she's lived. Third relationship she's lived with a man. I know that SS has lived in at least a dozen different homes with I don't know how many different guys. I do feel it has caused a lot of the issues. My husband and I also wonder if there's a possibility of some past abuse maybe from one of the random boyfriends- but there is no way for us to tell. One more reason I wish his therapist would do some more proactive forms of therapy. I am so frustrated by it.</p><p></p><p>SS's mom's mom is bi-polar. SS's mom's sister is also bi-polar and has been committed in a hospital. I've never met her. I don't know what other issues may run in the family. SS's mom is only crazy in the sense that every once in awhile I can't stand her and she makes ridiculously awful decisions. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /> </p><p></p><p>The sexual incidents really, really scared us. The first time was a long time ago (maybe 2 years ago?) He asked his best friend to take his pants off. The second time was the incident earlier this school year before he got transferred to the new school. He locked a kindergarten kid in a bathroom stall and told him he wanted to do something inappropriate. That's when we had the CPS report filed. The most recent incident was 2 weeks ago at a friends' house. He was playing with a group of other kids and when a parent went to check on them, she found SS in the closet with a girl in the dark. According to the girl, SS asked her to get under a blanket with him on the bed, but SHE suggested going in the closet. And it was there that he told her to take her pants off. (just typing that makes me sick to my stomach). So far nothing has actually transpired but the fact that he seems to be seeking those situations out has us on high alert.</p><p></p><p>In school he's a whiz with math but he is terrible with language. I will look into some of those disorders mentioned (Auditory Processing Disorders (APD) sounds like a real posibility) and I will bring up some of these ideas at our next session. And I will also strongly encourage his mother to look into a new doctor if his isn't responsive.</p><p></p><p>His mom is also very concerned, but I think she's lost and doesn't know what to do. It's her baby! I get it. She also has a 2 year old (girl) and I always worry if SS might do something to her. I really don't think he would, but it is always in the back of my mind <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /> </p><p></p><p>Anyway, thank you all again so much. I will further into some of the suggestions you've made!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="idk, post: 613795, member: 17380"] Oh my gosh, I can't thank you all enough. I have never felt so not alone before! To answer a couple of questions that were asked... I came into SS's life when he was 3.5 years old so I wasn't around when he was very young, but I do know his history. His mother (who again, I like, but has made some unfortunate decisions with her kids) had him at a relatively young age and bounced around to different households a lot. I think my husband said there has been a different boyfriend at every single one of SS's birthday parties. She has lived with multiple boyfriends, been engaged to one, married and divorced from another. I know she tries really hard but she's always with a new guy. In the three years (almost exactly) I have known her she is now living in the 6th place she's lived. Third relationship she's lived with a man. I know that SS has lived in at least a dozen different homes with I don't know how many different guys. I do feel it has caused a lot of the issues. My husband and I also wonder if there's a possibility of some past abuse maybe from one of the random boyfriends- but there is no way for us to tell. One more reason I wish his therapist would do some more proactive forms of therapy. I am so frustrated by it. SS's mom's mom is bi-polar. SS's mom's sister is also bi-polar and has been committed in a hospital. I've never met her. I don't know what other issues may run in the family. SS's mom is only crazy in the sense that every once in awhile I can't stand her and she makes ridiculously awful decisions. ;) The sexual incidents really, really scared us. The first time was a long time ago (maybe 2 years ago?) He asked his best friend to take his pants off. The second time was the incident earlier this school year before he got transferred to the new school. He locked a kindergarten kid in a bathroom stall and told him he wanted to do something inappropriate. That's when we had the CPS report filed. The most recent incident was 2 weeks ago at a friends' house. He was playing with a group of other kids and when a parent went to check on them, she found SS in the closet with a girl in the dark. According to the girl, SS asked her to get under a blanket with him on the bed, but SHE suggested going in the closet. And it was there that he told her to take her pants off. (just typing that makes me sick to my stomach). So far nothing has actually transpired but the fact that he seems to be seeking those situations out has us on high alert. In school he's a whiz with math but he is terrible with language. I will look into some of those disorders mentioned (Auditory Processing Disorders (APD) sounds like a real posibility) and I will bring up some of these ideas at our next session. And I will also strongly encourage his mother to look into a new doctor if his isn't responsive. His mom is also very concerned, but I think she's lost and doesn't know what to do. It's her baby! I get it. She also has a 2 year old (girl) and I always worry if SS might do something to her. I really don't think he would, but it is always in the back of my mind :( Anyway, thank you all again so much. I will further into some of the suggestions you've made! [/QUOTE]
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