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New Here -- Son With Auditory Processing Disorders (APD) diagnosis
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<blockquote data-quote="HeadlightsMom" data-source="post: 633551" data-attributes="member: 18284"><p>Hello again, Midwest Mom. Thanks for sharing your story. I hear much overlap in our reasons for adopting. I relate to much of what you wrote. We, also, wanted to adopt other kids. We went to a "Kid Fest" (what it was really called) and wound up playing basketball with a really wonderful 11-yo girl. We met with a social worker about her. Our son was 9 then, so we'd had 3 full years with him. We were all set to bring home this 11-yo girl with us until.......... the social worker revealed that she'd been raised by a family that practiced satanic animal sacrifices. We're big dog lovers and always have a dog (at that time a border collie mix, right now a black lab mix). We opted to NOT adopt her for fear of our pet. I can thankfully say that I'm not aware of our son ever intentionally hurting (let alone killing) an animal. But, hey, I don't know every fact. He just largely found pets irrelevant.</p><p></p><p>I CRINGED at re-reading how you lost 2 of your dogs. That breaks my heart on more levels than I can convey. So sorry to hear that.</p><p></p><p>by the way, we relate on another level, also. Although we did not bring that 11-yo girl home with us, we did wind up having our son's bio half-sister (who is African American) move in with us as our foster daughter. Our adopted son is white. His sister was older (17 at the time), so her time with us was short. But we are still in fairly close touch with her. She is just terrific! None of the same difficulties as he has. To this day, she is a thriving 30-yo woman successfully raising 2 kids. She has tried, many times, to help her brother -- to no avail.</p><p></p><p>Yes, they did discuss Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) for our son. Thing is, though, it wasn't very well known in the 1990's. We did do "rocking/holding" therapy with him at the counselor's suggestion. I spent hours with him from ages 6 - 10 or so on my lap in a rocking chair. He DRANK it up. It was probably a fairly comical sight as I'm only 4'11" and our son passed my height by age 12 or so (he's now 6'). There was formal discussion of a Tx Ctr for Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) newly established in our area when he was 15. However, he was full-bloom difficult at that time. Without his consent, it was just too late.</p><p></p><p>I just re-read your story about your 13-yo (when he left you) and the sexual predator story. That's rough. Yes, they do hide it well. Manipulative charm often goes a looooong way before it's "outed". I've been fooled before. Less so these days, but it still happens now and then.</p><p></p><p>Was your 13-yo the same child whom you adopted at age 11? Am I reading your post correctly?</p><p></p><p>Yes, we say similar things to others looking to adopt older kids. We also add that it's VERY helpful (if not critical) to know as much as you can about the bio family's hx and circumstances. And, lastly, in our state we found that Guardianship gets one many more options for assistance (and less legal liabilities) than Foster-Adopt. </p><p></p><p>Live and learn....</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="HeadlightsMom, post: 633551, member: 18284"] Hello again, Midwest Mom. Thanks for sharing your story. I hear much overlap in our reasons for adopting. I relate to much of what you wrote. We, also, wanted to adopt other kids. We went to a "Kid Fest" (what it was really called) and wound up playing basketball with a really wonderful 11-yo girl. We met with a social worker about her. Our son was 9 then, so we'd had 3 full years with him. We were all set to bring home this 11-yo girl with us until.......... the social worker revealed that she'd been raised by a family that practiced satanic animal sacrifices. We're big dog lovers and always have a dog (at that time a border collie mix, right now a black lab mix). We opted to NOT adopt her for fear of our pet. I can thankfully say that I'm not aware of our son ever intentionally hurting (let alone killing) an animal. But, hey, I don't know every fact. He just largely found pets irrelevant. I CRINGED at re-reading how you lost 2 of your dogs. That breaks my heart on more levels than I can convey. So sorry to hear that. by the way, we relate on another level, also. Although we did not bring that 11-yo girl home with us, we did wind up having our son's bio half-sister (who is African American) move in with us as our foster daughter. Our adopted son is white. His sister was older (17 at the time), so her time with us was short. But we are still in fairly close touch with her. She is just terrific! None of the same difficulties as he has. To this day, she is a thriving 30-yo woman successfully raising 2 kids. She has tried, many times, to help her brother -- to no avail. Yes, they did discuss Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) for our son. Thing is, though, it wasn't very well known in the 1990's. We did do "rocking/holding" therapy with him at the counselor's suggestion. I spent hours with him from ages 6 - 10 or so on my lap in a rocking chair. He DRANK it up. It was probably a fairly comical sight as I'm only 4'11" and our son passed my height by age 12 or so (he's now 6'). There was formal discussion of a Tx Ctr for Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) newly established in our area when he was 15. However, he was full-bloom difficult at that time. Without his consent, it was just too late. I just re-read your story about your 13-yo (when he left you) and the sexual predator story. That's rough. Yes, they do hide it well. Manipulative charm often goes a looooong way before it's "outed". I've been fooled before. Less so these days, but it still happens now and then. Was your 13-yo the same child whom you adopted at age 11? Am I reading your post correctly? Yes, we say similar things to others looking to adopt older kids. We also add that it's VERY helpful (if not critical) to know as much as you can about the bio family's hx and circumstances. And, lastly, in our state we found that Guardianship gets one many more options for assistance (and less legal liabilities) than Foster-Adopt. Live and learn.... [/QUOTE]
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